Women & Threesomes: The Double Standards

Here’s a quickread…ok…not really LOL but it’s interesting.

For 10 years I have been publicly humiliated by a former sex partner of mine. It took almost a decade of his tormenting for me to finally gather enough courage to speak about it on YouTube. In March 2016, I went on to my channel and pleaded with women. Candidly, I rehashed a story that took place in ATLANTA, GA around 2011 after a few failed relationships. Where I had been cheated on and physically abused. I was upfront about my sexual history and how I participated in a threesome to satisfy the sexual fantasies of a married man. Making such a destitute decision, once we started to have sex, he wasn’t married yet. I didn’t take his engagement seriously and apparently neither did he. However, I respected his honesty about his relationship status and for him not stealing my choice. He made himself my option. The excrutiating pain from my prior miscarriages and called off engagements from 2 other men weighed heavy on my heart. I just needed relief of any kind. Chris Law came in to save me from my heartache. Or so I thought.

It wasn’t until months after he was married that our affair ended. I initiated the affair. It was my idea and it was only supposed to be temporary. It had served it’s purpose. I was somewhat healed. According to him, his wife was cheating on him before he met me and eventually after things were over between us the 2 were divorced. Finally, almost a decade later I reached out to him on Facebook to ask him if he wanted a percentage of the profit I made off of a book once it was released. Inside the book I took others through the timeline of the sexual relationship between Chris and I and the things I learned from him directly. He had introduced me to the swinger’s lifestyle and polyamorous relationships.

I didn’t even get a chance to ask him. Chris’ response to my Facebook message that simply said “hi” was disrespectful and uncalled for. He had never directly treated me bad or like a hoe EVER. The last time I saw him was a year or so after he divorced her and remarried another woman. He came to my apartment and apologized to me for a trivial fall out and asked for friendship. We were cordial. I had no big issue with him. He had no big issue with me.

He replied “You were a hoe and I treated you as such.”

So if I’m a hoe who was single and had sex with a married man then what does that make you? Because last time I checked we “hoed” together. This prompted me to use my YouTube channel to warn women to avoid men who disrespect women by sexually abusing them and calling them out of their name. I encouraged women to make better choices. I also promoted my book. For years this man spread vicious rumors about me around the city of Atlanta. Dozens of men contacted me informing me that he was calling me a hoe. I refused to believe he’d disrespect me. Foolishly, I put entirely too much stock in a prehistoric friendship. Besides we had an agreement to respect each other’s lives outside of each other. We had fun and it was never something neither of us should have made public. It was our secret and for US. Not for the world.

After I took to my YouTube Channel, infuriated, he began a smear campaign. Remarried on his 2nd or 3rd wife (I’ve lost count he has several baby mommas) he began sensationalizing our sexual history. Disrespecting both her and I participating in the most disgusting behavior I’ve ever seen a man over 30 participate in. He told people he saw random men “run a train” on me and that I gave oral sex to dozens of men while he sat there and watched. Which was the furthest thing from the truth. I knew nothing about the swingers lifestyle when I met him. I had never participated in any kind of sexual escapades as outlandish as he claimed. I did however have a 3some with 2 men he introduced me to, under his direction. He took me to my first swingers house party. While he gave oral sex to several women on a filthy garage floor, disappointed and hurt, I began trying to find solace in a friend of mine in another part of the house. He broke the rules. One of which was to not give oral sex to others or to kiss other people.

I was a lingerie model….I’m no saint.

Yes, I’ve professionally taken photos for men’s magazines, I’ve been in music videos and on TV. I have a great deal of sex appeal. However, in real life I didn’t have an amazing sex life. The claims he made were ridiculous. The arrogance of this man and his lack of shame to be going around doing interviews, telling people private details about us on top of vicious lies insistent on embarrassing me. Meanwhile blaming ME for “telling our business.” Offline he’d torment me. Creating fake numbers only to use them to play on my phone. Admitting to me privately that it was him but lying to the public as if he wasn’t reaking havoc in my life. He’d created fake YouTube accounts on the internet and reach out to me. He joined my livestreams under a fake name consistently asking me questions about himself.

Later he’d join other people’s livestreams, forums and chatrooms calling me names and threatening anyone who would defend me. It was terrible. He reached out to the father of my son and told him false stories of me being some kind of whore who collects married men and feels comfortable with being a side chick. He accused me of stalking his daughter and tampering with his private information. All things I had never done. All I could do was defend myself. I even tried to make peace. I wrote entries on this very blog about this creep. After 3 years he still hadn’t stopped with his lies. Just last year he released images of us at the swingers party that were taken of me without my permission. This is when it occurred to me to stop being so nice and finally tell everyone what I believe his real problem is.

He is bisexual.

When he first introduced the concept of me entering the swingers lifestyle with him…My belief was that he loved seeing women have sex with each other or he’d want me to have sex with other women. But when he brought to my attention that he wanted me to have sex with 2 men I was confused even more. It was already a perversion to me for us to be involved in something so risky but I did it for him. It was his idea. He arranged it. He introduced me to the men he wanted me to interact with. It didn’t occur to me until after the 3some that Chris is bisexual. Yeah I thought about it before but this night solidified everything.

He himself didn’t participate in the 3some. That was just a form of cognitive dissonance. If he separated himself from the actual 3some itself in his mind that would erase any trace of homosexuality. However watching men have sex with each other or other women is still a homosexual tendency. I’m sure he has been with other men or at least thought about it. Most heterosexual men would not feel comfortable with seeing other men naked. Nor would they want to be in close proximity to one. Especially not see one having sex with ANYONE regardless of gender.

I was his beard.

Beard is a slang term describing a person who is used, knowingly or unknowingly, as a date, romantic partner (boyfriend or girlfriend), or spouse either to conceal infidelity or to conceal one’s sexual orientation. The American slang term originally referred to anyone who acted on behalf of another, in any transaction, to conceal a person’s true identity.[1] The term can be used in heterosexual and homosexual contexts, but is especially used within LGBT culture.

I stole that from wikipedia. LOL

For the record, Swingers are usually married people. They are known to swap partners and have a 3rd bisexual female partner called a Unicorn. I was under the impression that he and his wife were swingers. He led me to believe that she wasn’t participating as much as she promised she would and that she had cheated on him with another man. When he first asked me to come to a swingers party with him I thought he was out of his mind. It took a couple of months for him to convince me to participate.

So let’s revisit me participating in a 3some or for shits and giggles let’s hypothetically say a “train” was ran on me. (a phrase used to appease the immature beta males of the world). Why would that be something frowned upon but it’s completely ok for men to participate in a 3some with 2 women? There is no reason in the world why in the year 2020 there are still double standards placed on women and our sexuality as a form of control. Holding a woman to a sexual standard that you can’t hold on yourself as a man is demented. How is it ok that the world can call me a hoe for having a 3some with 2 men but Chris is not classified as a bisexual for watching 2 men have sex with each other and a woman?

All types of stereotypes have been placed on me all because of my gender and race. I participated in promiscuity for a short period of time to explore my own sexuality. I learned new things about my body that I didn’t know about by dealing with this man. This is not justification for doing something as bad as an affair. However people erase the fact that he participated. He was married. I was single. He was cheating on someone. I was not. But still somehow I’m the one being punished for his behavior meanwhile he seemingly has society viewing him as a victim of mine.

He knows I know his deepest darkest secret and just in case I shared it with the world he wanted to make sure people questioned my credibility. I never misjudged him. I am a bisexual woman myself. I’ve openly admitted that. There is nothing wrong with being a part of the LGBT+ community. However do not point in the direction of another person who has openly admitted the nature of their sexuality and condemn them simply because you are too scared to be honest about your own.

I decided to stop the release of the original version of the book so that it can be rewritten without including anything that has to do with him. It’s April 23rd, 2020 and I have rewrote this book 2 times already and I still don’t feel comfortable with the end product. So I haven’t re-released it.

Men have asked me for 3somes since but not 1 man has asked me to have sex with 2 other men. If I’m a hoe, Chris is gay. He never criticized any of the men involved just ME.

WE DID QUARANTINED FOOD DELIVERY w/ DOORDASH (CALIFORNIA)” on YouTube

While the world quarantines and practices social distancing to stop the spread of COVID-19 Soncerae & her daughter deliver food around California using the food delivery app Doordash.

People who have been exposed to the new coronavirus and who are at risk for coming down with COVID-19 might practice self-quarantine. Health experts recommend that self-quarantine lasts 14 days. Two weeks provides enough time for them to know whether or not they will become ill and be contagious to other people.

Turn Coat Much Ms. Cookie???

People have repeatedly contacted me talking about this one female on YouTube who used to speak negatively about me over and over again. I never believed she did until recently somebody sent me proof. So I forwarded the proof to her.

Today she was doing a livestream where she was telling people she wasn’t my defender. Even though she spent months talking about the Viper Pit harassing me online we both needed people to understand that I didn’t pay her to defend me. I didn’t ask her to defend me and she isn’t my attack dog. In response I agreed to her saying she wasn’t my proctector and in return she blocked me from responding in her chat. She only used me as a tool to attack The Viper Pit. It was about the principle. I told the truth. Not like it’s anything she denies. We agree.

She then accuses me of sneak dissing. Like I have some kind of fear in my heart to sneak diss. Like I didn’t send her the contents of the email sent to me that contained the proof of her speaking negatively about me. No one is about to accuse me of saying some shit I didn’t say so I wanted her to know exactly what I said in response to the email. That was the purpose of me sending the email.

Inside of her livestream she decides to block me then go in on me without giving me any opportunity to respond. I asked for the link to join her livestream. She had already blocked me. So instead I posted my response on my YouTube Drama Channel.

Bitches be wishy washy. One minute they cool next minute they not….

Here are the contents of said email:

Hello Sister,
I am a subscriber to your channel and have been watching you for a few years. You need to leave the drama alone and make your humorous fun loving videos again. I see you are involved with so much drama with these different crowds online. You need to ride solo on your journey. Get back to making your livestreams and dont trust any of these youtubers. I wanted you to see this video that cluster be did about you and wanted to warn you to not get involved with her. She is really evil and treacherous. She previously made a video dragging you . Here is the receipts verbatim. I would advise you to not make a video about her but just stay far away. Btw when are you going to be back on your main channel again?
https://youtu.be/G8R3YqCNK88 time stamp 3:20 
She doesn’t have your back like she is claiming and cant be trusted 

Also Egypt Ann is exposing Angela bad mouthing you in emails on her channel now she is telling all your personal business be careful sis
https://youtu.be/6BBofbpJjek

Here was my response:

Thank you for sending me this but keep in mind I am a business woman. I am doing what I believe is best for me and my channel. Livestreaming is not what’s up FOR ME. I never liked doing it.  So I don’t do it. Staying out of the drama is what I been doing and what I keep doing. Speaking my truth about it doesn’t mean suddenly I’m being tricked into something. I’m not dumb.  I do realize that people are only on my side when it’s convenient for them. I understand that Cluster B is only after the viper pit. She is just using how they treated me as a tool to attack them.  Angela too. Cluster B & Angela are not #teamsoncerae. These bitches barely like me. I understand that. I’m not being fooled by anyone. Even if Cluster B used to say disrespectful stuff about me what she is saying now is that she is tired of seeing the viper pit hurt others. I know it has nothing to do with me. None of these people are really on my side like that and I get it. I’m not an idiot. Contrary to what you believe I DO NOT TRUST ANYONE. 
#1 Now this clip of Cluster B saying IDK how to hold and gun like she’s seen me hold one, if in fact she is speaking of me is absurd to me. She doesn’t KNOW anything about me or what I’m holding on this end. Best believe I handle myself. I got this Soncerae shit under control. I’m not a gutter rat but I will kill a bitch if need me. I survive. Period. I don’t pretend to be some big bad bitch who spent time in Central California Women’s Facility. I don’t know shit about prison and I don’t want to. But in self defense I’ll do what I have to do. I know how to dot a bitch eye. Step on a toe, chop her in the throat. I got this lolol.
#2 I had no problem exposing people on the internet who harassed me for months or years at a time. So who gives a fuck if Cluster B feels some type of way about me posting their legal name. Fuck them. They shouldn’t have been bullying me from a private account. 
#3 No one is going to defend or protect Soncerae like ME. NO ONE. Not Cluster B. No Angela….NO ONE. 
#4 In the clip attached I believe that Cluster B did not understand this situation months ago. And with time she has a better understanding of what has happened to me. Does the bitch like me? No. Is she my friend? No. I believe she is just expressing her opinion even if at one point in time she was guilty of the very thing she claims other people are doing to me. I DON’T CARE. I do not know Cluster B at all. I have no problem with her and I most likely never will. As long as she doesn’t come for my kids, money or physically come around me we are fine. She is on her side of the internet I’m on mine. 
People make assumptions all of the time and pretend like they are looking out for me when really I know what’s up. 
Take you for instance…..you are part of the problem too. Because you watch this type of shit. You have to be a supporter of EVERYBODY LOVES SONCERAE which is a sock puppet profile from a person who has lied about me on so many occasions. I got his last channel deleted. The person behind this channel isn’t an innocent vigilante trying to save Soncerae. He’s an asshole trying to keep mess going. Especially by him reminding everyone about what Cluster B said about me months ago. 
Cluster B is not innocent. Neither is Angela, Nylah, Taz, Bomb Cherry, DaNini, Warren, Lord Gaelick, STL4U, Chris Law, Minister Jap, E Alyce, L Boogie…..I can go on and on. All of us has said something in a reactionary manner being misinformed about another human being. I’m over it. Even I’ve done. Keep in mind please that these bitches and niggas can’t fool me. I know they game. I may play the part online that I need to but I”m not stupid. I learned the lessons already. I’m a real woman I keep it 100% and if anyone has a problem with me I’m sure they’ll reach out to me privately and say that. Anyone speaking about me negatively or positively online is doing that shit for entertainment purposes including Cluster B. 


Have a nice fuckin day.

The messiness is real in these streets. Now Cluster B mad because I agree with her?

The Messy Mind of Mona Symone

The recent behavior of my sister and fellow content creator Mona Symone has saddened me. It is extremely unfortunate when women of color have unresolved misunderstandings. Miscommunication that can easily be ironed out if both parties listen to understand instead of attempting to undermine.

When it comes to mental health issues, black women are more likely to experience them due to lower income, poor health, multiple role strain, and the “double minority status” of race and gender. In Mona Symone’s case she has Asperger’s Disease & Suicide Ideation. I did not know anything about the mental disorder until she explained it to me.  It affects her ability to effectively socialize and communicate. She gets confused and overwhelmed easily. While extremely intellectual in most areas Mona however, is greatly challenged in the emotional intelligence department. Others have used her slight form of Autism against her prompting her to second guess, get confused and over process information. When frustrated because of this Mona will lash out in ways that are unhealthy.

I’m not going to use any of my platforms to expose her past or present. Nor will I spread lies or express all of my personal thoughts concerning her. It’s unnecessary.

I am displeased with her recent behavior but it’s nothing for me to have a huge tantrum over. I’m an adult and want to handle her poor decisions with a level of maturity grace and class. I will not stoop to low frequencies just to address her. This is just a misunderstanding.

She has decided to use YouTube.com maliciously by sharing our private text messages. Though I am not ashamed of our correspondence after her negative behavior I still believe that the messages should have stayed private. Before she released our text messages she hosted a livestream called “Let’s Discuss The Soncerae Interview” where she was supposedly allowing others to comment on a Premiere shared minutes earlier of her and I discussing an interview Tommy Sotomayor did with my son’s Father & his ex wife. During her impromptu livestream she allowed trolls and people who have literally stalked me for years to call in, disrespect me and spread more vicious lies. They did not address the interview at all. It surprised me that she’d use her platform in such a manner. She could have at least gave me a heads up so I could call in and defend myself. I tried calling but she didn’t answer so I texted. After confronting her she made accusations and spoke disrespectfully to me. In response I wished her the best in her future endeavors and removed any promotional material of hers from all of my social media platforms.

Last year Mona was severely chastised on YouTube by hundreds of content creators and lost thousands of subscribers when she was found to have faked her death and staged a botched suicide. Her wife was said to have falsely announced her death on Mona’s community tab, April Fools Day. During this time she also began feuding with popular gossip Vlogger TashaK after Mona interviewed Rap Artist CardiB during her fued with Rap Artist Nicki Minaj. Other popular YouTubers have shared the same negative experience I have with Mona. Tampa, FL Rap Artist Khia viciously attacked her on TS Madison’s Channel during an episode of Queen’s Court. Other YouTubers such as Treecey & SweetMa4Life have also created videos addressing Mona’s disrespectful behavior towards them and others.

Because she lost so many subscribers and has low view count we decided to work together to improve both of our channels. We had plans to create a positive show for women of color where we discuss topics that can help improve their lives and #levelup.

Please listen to the audio below to hear more about the series of events and attached are our private text messages she released in part. Mona was warned that this type of thing would happen and people from both sides would contact us to encourage us to divide instead of work together to improve. She promised she wouldn’t respond nor be anxious to entertain drama and pick sides. Ultimately she did the very thing she said she wouldn’t.

Yesterday, after our last group of texts she joined another livestream on an obsessed troll’s channel and began discussing me negatively.

Text Message 1
Text Message 2
Text Message 3
Text Message 4
Text Message 5
Text Message 6
Text Message 6
Text Message 7
Text Message 7b
Text Message 8
Text 9
Text 10
Text Message 11

YouTube StreetRat Egypt Ann Can’t Wait Until Soncerae Dies” on YouTube

Dealing with the troll infestation on YouTube has gotten old and tired to me. There is nothing less entertaining than complete strangers coming for me like I did something personal to them. I received an email. Ofcourse I did. *rolls eyes*. Ya never know….trolls orchestrate shit all of the time. These beef manufacturers want you at war with others so bad they accuse you of all types of espionage meanwhile are the catalysts for chaos. Flinging accusations, talking too much. Bullying others but sware they the victim. I just don’t have the maliciousness in my heart to go as far as these people do. Anyway Ms Montgomery *rolls eyes again* portrays herself as the whistle blower who is trying to save me from hell’s demons and informs me that Egypt Ann (a low budget bird without ambition that I have consistently said I have no issue with) wished death on me. I spoke more about it in this video. I’ve also attached the screenshots.

A Loved Woman’s Behavior

You will always be able to tell when a woman is loved. When a woman is supported you will know. When a woman is wealthy and healthy you can tell. Her character. Her behavior. How she speaks. How she talks. How she walks. Everything about her will exude confidence.

There are a lot of women out there under the impression that they are women worthy of another’s envy. There are powerless women out there who will do whatever they can to destroy the reputations of women they aspire to be. These women are to be forgiven because they do not know what they do. They do not know how to cope with what they feel it what they think. There are a lot of women out there who try to find love in the wrong places. When they aren’t getting what they need in real life a lot of times they look for it on the internet.

There are women in Loveless marriages. There are women with low self-esteem. There are women who are hurting because of their past pain. They are women with mental illnesses unchecked. There are women who are educated. But as a woman the worst thing that you can do is chastise criticize or judge another. Living in a glass house throwing stones and hiding your hands will eventually be the catalyst for your world’s shattering. Listen to my latest podcast by clicking on the YouTube video below.

Finally, Introducing My Son To His Father #SingleMomLife

Teaching my son manhood and fatherhood it’s going to be one of the hardest things I’ll have to do with my life. What I teach my son can make or break him as a man. Inside of this podcast I talked about how I’m introducing my son to his father without his father being present.

How do I teach my son how NOT to be the man his father is?

https://www.spreaker.com/episode/21113462

I Wished He Loved Me Like I Love Me

Negativity tends to linger. It’s like a bad fungus. It’s cancerous. Some people dwell on something negative for a long time even if something positive is equal or more present. Because men process negativity differently from women I believe that most of the rumors spread about me come from men externalizing a sense of sadness they felt after I rejected them. I don’t have issues with a lot of men on social media. Especially not on YouTube. I’ve done dozens of collaborations, livestreams and commentary with and for men. Originally my content online was designed for men. With time I noticed that men who had an emotional attachment to me or some sort of attraction to me began using the internet or the power of the tongue to lash out and release frustration.

Keep in mind that I NEVER initiated any type of drama with ANY man on or offline. Cause and effect is real. For every action is a reaction. So when we began to analyze where most of my troubles online originate from the path is clear. I will spare you with details.

It kind of reminds of the Trickle Down Theory in economics.

When I was a model of fantasy and femininity for 6 years of my life I never thought in a million years that I’d forever be hypersexualized. A source of income and stepping stone for my career was now being used as part of my personal life. My personal life was and is still very different. I was very private and restricted. I’ve spent most of my adult life celibate. As you read this entry I’ve been celibate for 2 years. I live the complete opposite of the image portrayed of me online and in magazines. It wasn’t until part of my career was over that I began exploring my sexuality and becoming polyamorous.

The exploitation of women is part of African American culture. I am not an object however I have been dehumanized by men because of this career choice. I’ve never been a porn star, exotic dancer, escort or prostitute however these are all rumors I heard MEN spread about me online. What I’ve noticed about most of the men I’ve ever come in counter with, if they couldn’t have me no one could. If they couldn’t control me they began to try to control how others viewed me. Instead of using my confidence in my body as a tool to empower and inspire women the very men who celebrated my beauty used it to shame and insult me. I began noticing that I was being penalized for something women of other races where encouraged to do. According to BlackburnCenter.org I was dealing with a deeper rooted issue. Before the slave trade took hold in America, European travelers to Africa were both fascinated and appalled by the dress and practices of the Africans that they encountered there. The minimal amounts of clothing worn by Africans (appropriate in a hot climate), the fact that some tribes practiced polygamy, and the seemingly suggestive tribal dances led these Europeans to believe that Africans were sexually lewd. Now it seems like when women of my color exude confidence by showing our bodies we instead are viewed as women with lower self esteem. I felt negatively about my career choice for a long time and after realizing that my behavior was not helping my community I decided to make a change. It was necessary. Stepping away from a toxic culture in media headlined sex sells meant I had to do what I already knew in my heart was right.

This is where my philanthropic work began. I put my time and energy into doing volunteer work and assisting underprivileged African American families. I started speaking at colleges and mentoring young black women. But no matter my efforts and years of productive celebratory behavior, no matter the plethora of photographs and videos of me participating in said behavior my career choice of 6 years always seems to be the focal point of conversation among men. Mostly men I have never had any kind of sexual interaction with.
For many years I’ve been warned about my kindness. And how it has put me in positions with people that gives them the opportunity to misuse me. Those with malicious intent have come into my life and consider my kindness as a weakness. I have some people in my life that I love dearly who took very good care of me. But their were people in my life that exited it by my request. Though I am not perfect they were not the best people in the world. Ergo me asking them to exit. Men have asked me to leave their lives too and I never complained or made a fuss. Men I’ve dated or even men who were slightly attracted to me began trying to destroy my career or finances. Men that no one would have noticed otherwise now began using my name as a way to catapult their own careers. When they speak of me they depict me as a villain or less than the woman I am.
I said in a podcast recently that people rarely remember what happened to you, they only remember how you respond to it. Once I caught wind of these men and their antics I fought for myself. By any means necessary. People often ask me why so many rumors have spread about me. Some believe because I’m so transparent with my life, on YouTube, that must make me an easier topic for gossip. When the truth is there isn’t one person on this planet that hasn’t been gossipped about. Most people just aren’t aware that they are being spoken about. Fear breeds rumors. The more collective anxiety a group has, the more inclined it will be to start up a rumor about a person they are envious of or may believe they are a threat.

For many years on YouTube I was tormented by African American men. YouTube is a stomping ground for men who believe that oppressing women is part of their right of being a man. The red pill community, the underachievers, socially awkward and low hanging fruit conjugate there to complain about their misfortune with women. The torment got worse after someone I interacted with professionally began showing disdain for me being a single mother. He encourages men to not get involved with single mothers. The catalyst being him having his own issues with his biological mother. He takes it out on me. A man I once admired and only wanted success for was now hurting me so bad. One would think that he’d simply respect another woman being as though he has a stepmom who stepped up. It should make him be in support of blended families. When we began working together he never showed any disapproval about me raising my own kids. He was concerned about whether I was single enough to date him. He later on chastised me about my previous career choice, my sexuality and my physical appearance. All things he did not have an issue with while we were working together. People who would defend me online would began being tormented not just by him but by people he gathered together with hatred. These people were stalked and harassed so badly that I had to break ties with them and encourage them to discontinue defending me.

Once I was abandoned during the pregnancy of my son I began using my YouTube channel as a place to spread awareness about a poor choice I made dating a man who is now divorced but once separated while we planned a future together. Even he used the platform to maliciously depict me as someone I was not. This also gave me opportunity to talk about Fatherhood and how most African American men do not respect their women and children. Half of the men in my audience became infuriated. Even the men that my content didn’t apply to. Using my past as reason for why I couldn’t be trusted intellectually. The other half of the men began empowering me and sending me donations. Women even participated in chastising me about my sexuality. I was called a whore, slut, tranny, by my own people. People I had supported in my past. African Americans who saw me post positive content that was designed to teach us how to deal with each other. It hurt me so bad to see my own people tear me down. All over rumors, misinformation, impulsion and mistakes.

People on YouTube began making hundreds of disrespectful videos about me. They incited hatred and were extremely misleading. I had never seen so many people bring up my past as an argument in intellect conversation before. A past some once celebrated me for. One would think I committed murder or sexual assault the way that people spoke of me. People began conforming to a sect of the dark web that took pride in humiliating me online. Losing all sense of order and conduct these people began making irrational statements about me that were obviously illogical. However were only supported in order to get adoration from members of the group. People who were good people before they entered the group began trying to justify their actions in attempts to align their maliciousness with their proper beliefs about their own individual personality. The de-individualized began apologizing to me for their negativity. Even though the cognitive dissonance was entertaining and served it’s purpose for them it caused me a lot of damage. Becoming aware of that damage made them apologize to begin with. There are still people who are a part of that sect that refuse to wake up and take accountability for the torment. This has lasted for 3 long years.

During this time I began to understand that people had a bigger problem with my individualism. Because I did not conform to the group’s way of thinking and promoted diversity I was chastised even more. We all disagree with others and some of the poor choices they have made. However, we must not forget that we have in fact made our own. After seeing hundreds of negative misleading videos made about me, I finally saw an INDIVIDUAL make a positive one. Finally a well thought out assessment. Not one lie was told. Not one insult was flung. It was just a guy with a personal message trying to make change for the greater good and that was something I could relate to. When he first began his research I believe he wanted to speak more about my philanthropic work and career. Unbeknownst to me he wanted to speak about a much more important topic.

The video is only 1 step towards getting people to see me in the light people saw me in before I collaborated with the wrong YouTuber or dated the wrong man. The woman I’ve always been my entire life underneath the pain, misfortune and mistakes. We should acknowledge people’s efforts to rectify situations and improve. This video goes out to the people who think independently and artistically. Those who know better and do better. You are appreciated and loved. Please like this video and subscribe to this channel. Show support to our brother who’s only focus is Black Excellence.

SUBSCRIBE TO HIS CHANNEL BY CLICKING HERE!

We must remember that there are different sides to people. We are not 1 dimensional. That’s why none of the people I’ve mentioned above have me harboring hatred in my heart for them. One of these people I can truly say I love. No matter how much he claims to hate me. I just can’t hate him. I don’t like his behavior but I love him as a person. That’s all I have room in my heart for. I just want people to stop judging each other and love one another. Life is too short and we can lose people we should’ve apologized to or supported. We all have things we have to cope with and disappointments as well as mistakes. I take pride in who I am and I always will. Mistakes and all. Hopefully one day the men I’ve loved will turn that hatred that they feel into love for themselves. I want them to realize that I am not their enemy. I am just a woman. One that should be loved, respected, appreciated and forgiven. I am still the woman they once adored. I am at peace either way. May your heart soften for me. I will pray for more guidance during this lovely life of mine and ask God to give you endless blessings.

Jap, through it all under the mask of a nemesis… you are a lover and a friend. Give it time, your heart will heal. You’ll change for the better and so will I. 💙

Please be sure to check out my latest podcast.

The Cult Says: My 1yr old son can’t walk because I punched myself in the stomach during pregnancy so I can miscarry??!!?? 😟😕😡

I’ve noticed that when I take the time to discuss what’s meaningful to me and what I take pride in people try to tear it down. I’ve always talked about how honest and real I am so people try to convince others that I’m a liar. I’ve always talked about how transparent I am about my feelings people try to convince others I keep secrets. When I tell my stories people complain about me telling my business when I don’t tell my stories people are complaining that I’m withholding information. I’ve always spoken about how good of a mother I am so people try to convince others I abuse or neglect my kids. People attack my career my accomplishments…..I can’t win for losing. This has made me hate online communities, cliches, mobs and cults. This is why I have pulled back from social media.

When I was pregnant I had a good friend who helped me through it. Her name was Angela. When people online found out we were friends they tried to divide us. I warned Angela that these people would do this so I asked her to stay away from these people. But headstrong Angela convinced me to interact with them via live stream so that we all could unify. Sounds like a good idea in theory. But we soon realized that those people didn’t want to unify. I’ve tried my hardest to stay away from these people. However Angela still tried to keep her friendship with them over her friendship with me. I wasn’t angry I just respected her choice.

With time people began contacting me telling me that Angela was telling others that during my pregnancy I wanted to kill my baby so I punched myself in the stomach so I could miscarry. They also claim that I spoke to Angela in detail about my liver and kidney problems. It didn’t sound right to me and still doesn’t. I can’t imagine Angela lying to me or about me to others.

I never confronted Angela about these things. It didn’t make sense to me because I know that Angela is a strong supporter of womanism. Yes she has shown how unsupportive of me she is but I doubt she would say these vile things about me.

For a few months now people have been leaving comments on social media believing that my son can’t walk because I punched him while in the womb during my pregnancy.

I’m constantly having to block and delete people who post this. There are also people saying that my son is a special needs child. Really, all it would take them doing is going to my son’s YouTube channel RAESINGJUSTICE and they would see videos of my healthy happy 1 year old son.

My son can walk. My son can run. My son loves to dance. My son knows his ABCs and knows words when he hears them and sees. He recognizes colors. My son can read out loud. He is also ambidextrous. He is advanced intellectually for his age. My son is very healthy and anyone can see that he’s just a fun loving toddler.

During the beginning of my pregnancy I was very depressed abandoned betrayed lost emotional and confused. Angela helped me during this time. Because my son’s father Priest betrayed me and decided to skip out I thought about adoption and even abortion. I think all women try to factor in their options and they want to make a conscious decision. I had unwanted abortions in the past for others who didn’t want a baby when I knew I wanted to keep my baby. So this time I chose to keep my son because I am the only one who will love him the way a mother is supposed to. I wanted him so I did what was best for us both. Priest also suggested that I not have an abortion. Abortion always seems like the worst thing I can do. It’s my body. Whatever any woman does with it is her choice.

Because my son is innocent I wasn’t going to let the disappearance of his father be taken out on him. When people say I punched myself in the stomach so I can have a miscarriage because I didn’t want my baby it sounds dumb. Wouldn’t it have just made sense for me to go and get an abortion if I wanted to harm my baby? People lack logic and critical thinking skills when it comes to me and the rumors that they spread to entertain themselves. They are not well thought out.

I do not have liver or kidney problems. I never punched myself in the stomach. I never physically hurt my son. I will never abandon my son. I love him so much. I am so sorry there are people out there who didn’t get to experience the kind of love from family that I share with my kids. I can only imagine how lonely and hurt you are. The person who started this rumor and those that continue to spread it must start thinking first about themselves and what would make them say or believe something so heinous and disheartening.

There are so many family channels on YouTube. There are married couples, single mothers and fathers raising their children in happy healthy homes who post videos and pictures of their children. Not even half of them are harassed and tormented the way people harass and torment me. I want people to simply leave me alone. I don’t bother anyone’s family. It’s people lying saying I have. Look for proof of accusations before you believe them.

I’ve noticed a pattern that all the rumors come from the same group of people from the same online community. I’m not sure why this specific cult of people are so obsessed with me. I don’t know these people personally. Please send me and my family positive energy in hopes that these people discontinue spreading these vicious lies.

I healed from post partum depression and a light form of PTSD from the trauma of being molested, abused and neglected as a child. I’m not ashamed I had to go to counseling. I do not have any other type of mental disorder. Nor would I consider harming any other innocent human being.

Social Media’s Accountability Cops – What They Continue To Over Look

Just recently I posted a podcast on my YouTube channel. It was called “What Should Be Said About Fathers Who Check Out” Inside of it I spoke about absent fathers who weren’t taught how to respect their legacy or lineage. What never seems to surprise me is the response that women who enable men have. When women share their stories of being misled, abused, hurt, maybe even assaulted or raped. The response is always… How could her behavior have been different? How could she have modified her actions and her thinking to change the outcome and prevent it. How well did she know this man? Wait….he was SEPARATED? Oh this is her fault….she’s a side chick. She’s a mistress. Oh wait she knew his estranged wife?! Maybe she tricked his wife? Are you all kidding me? When a person is mugged, we don’t tell them that they didn’t fight back correctly or hold onto their purse tightly enough. When they are telling their story of being robbed we typically do not call these people liars, persecute them for coming forward, tell them it’s their fault, it’s karma or accuse them of only wanting attention.

I have never presented myself as a victim. I never blame him for the choices I made. I made them. I always talk about what I have survived. I’ve taken accountability for the poor choices I made and I encourage women to not make those same poor choices in ALL OF MY COMMENTARY.

In the comment section of this specific podcast/YouTube Video Upload An enabler of men “Ms. Royal Blue” came into my comment section with this comment disregarding the entire point of the podcast:

You have to take personal accountability for the situation you put yourself in. YOU chose to mess with a man that was married still. YOU thought that is was going to work out. YOU need to stop acting like the victim. You made poor decisions all the way around. Who gets with a man that is not out of a marriage yet and expects success? A FOOL and by the looks of it one who thinks she wise. HE WAS A KARMIC RELATIONSHIP THAT WAS MEANT TO TEACH HOW TO RESPECT YOURSELF. It was test that you failed and it appears you still haven’t gotten the lesson. You have a lot to say about him but what about you take a look in the mirror. You are a reflection of what you attract.

Let’s break this comment down in pieces.

Keep in mind that, The podcast was about absent fathers not caring about their legacy. I have no control over Priest, (my son’s father) and his attitude towards his own life.

She said: You have to take personal accountability for the situation you put yourself in.

As if I didn’t speak on my personal responsibility inside of the entire situation in this podcast like I do in all of the others as well.

She said: YOU chose to mess with a man that was married still. YOU thought that is was going to work out. YOU need to stop acting like the victim.

No matter how many times I keep telling these birds that I’m a survivor the dustbunnies still don’t get it. I did NOT choose to be manipulated by a man. Priest is LEGALLY DIVORCED and was a couple of kilometers away from it when I met him. Maybe you should stop victim shaming someone who isn’t a victim. And also keep in mind the man I’m speaking of is NOT innocent. I didn’t ask to be put inside of this terrible situation. If I knew what I know now I would’ve held my standard to not dating anyone who has ever thought about marrying someone else and that including divorcees. I continue to tell women to NOT choose these type of men regardless to relationship status. His relationship status isn’t what made Priest a bad man for me. It was his character. Yet still a bird is going out her way to continue to throw this is my face. Trying to purposely humiliate another woman.

SHE SAID: You made poor decisions all the way around. Who gets with a man that is not out of a marriage yet and expects success?

Again, saying something to me that I have expressed on a number of occasions is productive in what way? Holier than thou the bird comes in callously with no regard for my feelings nor holding this man accountable at all like his behavior is my fault.

SHE CONTINUES: A FOOL and by the looks of it one who thinks she wise. HE WAS A KARMIC RELATIONSHIP THAT WAS MEANT TO TEACH HOW TO RESPECT YOURSELF. It was test that you failed and it appears you still haven’t gotten the lesson.

This very podcast she is commenting on just like every other video I post is about what I learn and how I want women and men to both have more respect for themselves so they can be in a better situation. This is what I said….she’s repeating after me like a parrot. However she’s believes she’s coming in my comment section with a new revelation. It appears to me that she didn’t come in my comment section meaning well or to display logic. The comment is EMOTIONAL. She came into it to be hurtful, extra and to put me down. She didn’t even bother listening to what I was saying or listening to other podcasts. She just came in guns blazing. That’s what most people do on social media. They talk too much and don’t listen. If I didn’t learn the lesson the podcast wouldn’t exist. The entire point of me continuing to talk about this is to teach what I’ve learned.

NOT ONE TIME HAS THIS BIRD MENTIONED THAT A FATHER ABANDONED HIS CHILD!!! SHE HAS DECIDED TO NOT ADDRESS THAT PROBLEM AT ALL. EVEN THOUGH THE MAIN TOPIC OF THIS PODCAST IS ABOUT THAT.

SHE SAID: You have a lot to say about him but what about you take a look in the mirror. You are a reflection of what you attract.

Ofcourse I have a lot to say about him because none of you are holding that turd accountable. I hold him accountable for abandoning his son. My son’s father was SEPARATED when I met him. NOT MARRIED, NOT WIDOWED, NOT DIVORCED. SEPARATED! Something that grown ups do. He is now DIVORCED. His relationship status does not effect how he should treat a child. This is what is idiotic about this entire comment. This bird is stuck on the fact that this man was in the process of moving on with his life. From one marriage to another. It didn’t work out. Fine, that’s what happens in a relationship sometimes. But to skip out on your kid is ALL HIM. That has nothing to do with me no matter how much this bird wishes it does.

Blame me for the demise of the relationship.

Blame me for dating him while he was in a transitional phase.

Hell, Blame me for trusting a manipulative narcissist….sure.

Blame me for my disparaging remarks about his dumb ass, that makes sense.

BUT STOP BLAMING ME FOR THIS MAN ABANDONING HIS CHILD!

There will never be any excuse or justification for Priest abandoning Justice PERIOD. You all want to sweep his indiscretions under the rug, feel free. You all want to over look Priest’s level of dysfunction, do it. But I will not join you in your celebration and enable him. Priest and I discussed having children and he claimed he wanted them. Justice came earlier than we planned. Justice is a gift from God. I wasn’t ready for it so I got ready. Don’t tell me I lack respect for myself when you don’t even have the decency to address something as savage as a man abandoning a child. Have this same nasty ass energy when you speak about him and stop making it seem like he’s innocent and I don’t take accountability. The entire purpose of all of my podcasts and livestreams are to teach women NOT to do what I did. If I wasn’t taking accountability I’d stop talking about it altogether. I’d never mention it. That’s what people do when they don’t want to be responsible for a poor decision. They run from it. Just like Priest ran.

You bitches need to learn something about me fast and in a hurry. I love myself and I love my son. Niggas like Priest get away with fuck shit because dust bunnies like this one think they are Iyanla Vanzant and want to preach to another woman about a topic that has nothing to do with the topic at hand. The podcast was about absent fathers not caring about their legacy. Not broken relationships and the karmic lessons we need to learn from them. Before you can get on my level you have to graduate from the school of logic. These irrational comments are what annoy me most about social media. People don’t comment to empower. They come to disempower and hurt people. We are women. There is no reason this dustbunny should have come into my comment section saying any of this. Defending a man who abandoned his child. Excusing him of all wrongdoing and attacking me and my authenticity.

For those females and males who continue to not be able to comprehend the basic messages in my commentary you need to excuse yourself. I do not have enough time or crayons to be able to draw this out for you. This is very simple and some people insist on complicating it. The podcast was about absent fathers not caring about their legacy. I have no control over this man and his attitude towards his own life.

The way my relationship went with my son’s father is unfortunate. I was manipulated by Priest, the man I love. As well as his mother, someone I tried to build a friendship with. SaDonya, his estranged wife who seemingly wanted to help both Priest & I move forward. I wasn’t this man’s side chick. I wasn’t this man’s mistress. I was kind to him, respected him, loved him and planned my future with him and it didn’t work out. That’s not my biggest issue. I got over that!

My issue is how Priest mistreats our son.

Just like Priest avoids topics that are relative to Justice so did this female in my comment section. A man is someone who accepts accountability for their actions and owns up to them, no matter what. This isn’t the easiest thing to do and accountability isn’t really being taught to men. It’s taught to women. That’s why it’s so easy for this bird to come into my comment section with this mess.

When men abandon children they are afraid. Address Priest’s fear.

When men abandon children they are selfish. Address Priest’s selfishness.

When men abandon children they weren’t taught to take accountability. Address Priest’s inability to take accountability.

When men abandon children they think they aren’t good enough. Address Priest’s lack of confidence.

When men abandon children they feel shame and discomfort. Address Priest’s keeping distance because of it.

When men abandon children they have abandonment issues themselves. Address Priest’s phobia of being left behind and how he begged me not to leave him yet left us.

When men abandon children usually they are untrustworthy and lack the ability to cooperate with the mother’s of their children. Address how both of us feel like the lack of trust will not allow us to cooperate with each other and seems not even worth the effort.

There are some divorced men that abandon their children. Their are also some men who aren’t emotionally tied to the women they have a child by YET they still take care of their children. The real problem is that once a man decides against raising his child no matter what the circumstances, he has traveled beyond the boundaries of what makes sense. He’s acting selfishly and has no idea the damage he will inflict upon his child by his absence. A man is no less a man for having fears, but what separates the men from the boys is that men ultimately face their fears head-on with courage, hope, and faith.

Why did she feel comfortable with placing the blame all on me? Suggesting I look in the mirror. When the entire point of me continuing to tell this story is so it will help other men and women not make the poor choice I made or that Priest made. Why do women like this misunderstand me? This blog wasn’t about ME it was about FATHERS WHO ABANDON THEIR CHILDREN. WHY DO WE KEEP OVERLOOKING THE TERRIBLE SHIT MEN DO!? Forget that he manipulated me? Forget that he left me to die in a hotel? Forget that he abandoned a child! Let’s chastise Soncerae for being hurt and making a poor choice.

In our society, men get away with a lot of things. They beat their wives, force their young daughters to get married, or check their hymen’s on some T.I. shit, touch and grope women on the streets, try to make women uncomfortable with their constant staring, they molest and rape children and women, and all we have to say at the end of the day is that men will be men. A woman cannot even take a step out of her house without being reminded of her sins from a decade ago and how she will end up in hell. Meanwhile I man can commit a heinous act against a woman an hour ago and no one acknowledges it. Why is masculinity classified as “anything a man who is slick enough can get away with.”???? What is that about?

I’m a fool for trusting this man right? We’ll you’re the bigger fool for not holding him accountable for toying with me and my child’s life. This isn’t about me being a victim. This is about what I survived!!!!! Yes it was hard but I did it! I got up out of that hotel and got my life together, without him. I was pregnant and severely ill and still did it. He could’ve did it as well. Why aren’t my improvements or accomplishments celebrated? Why is his lack of determination or motivation ignored? Why do we scapegoat women for a man’s poor behavior? Like I made this man do all of these terrible things! Don’t give me that I am what I attract bullcrap. ONE THING NONE OF US WILL BE ABLE TO DO REGARDLESS TO WHETHER OR NOT OUR CHAKRAS ARE ALIGNED IS CONTROL OTHER PEOPLE!

People keep defining this man’s role in child’s life dependent upon him being on child support or him being married, separated, divorced from another woman. They normalize him not contacting his child perceiving him as doing what’s right because our child together is supposedly the “illegitimate child”. Like he wasn’t his ex wife’s second husband, they don’t have children together and she has 3 kids from a previous marriage. His relationship status with me or her has nothing to do with what kind of father this man should be. Husband, fiance, boyfriend, father, uncle, brother are all different roles. You can be one without the other in situations like this one.

No matter what your perspective of reality is. No matter how many excuses you give this man. No matter how emotional you are or how much you hate me. I have no control over this man and his attitude towards his own life. Him abandoning our son is the worse thing a person can do to another. Nothing I’ve ever done will be worse than that. NOTHING.

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