Here’s a quickread…ok…not really LOL but it’s interesting.
For 10 years I have been publicly humiliated by a former sex partner of mine. It took almost a decade of his tormenting for me to finally gather enough courage to speak about it on YouTube. In March 2016, I went on to my channel and pleaded with women. Candidly, I rehashed a story that took place in ATLANTA, GA around 2011 after a few failed relationships. Where I had been cheated on and physically abused. I was upfront about my sexual history and how I participated in a threesome to satisfy the sexual fantasies of a married man. Making such a destitute decision, once we started to have sex, he wasn’t married yet. I didn’t take his engagement seriously and apparently neither did he. However, I respected his honesty about his relationship status and for him not stealing my choice. He made himself my option. The excrutiating pain from my prior miscarriages and called off engagements from 2 other men weighed heavy on my heart. I just needed relief of any kind. Chris Law came in to save me from my heartache. Or so I thought.
It wasn’t until months after he was married that our affair ended. I initiated the affair. It was my idea and it was only supposed to be temporary. It had served it’s purpose. I was somewhat healed. According to him, his wife was cheating on him before he met me and eventually after things were over between us the 2 were divorced. Finally, almost a decade later I reached out to him on Facebook to ask him if he wanted a percentage of the profit I made off of a book once it was released. Inside the book I took others through the timeline of the sexual relationship between Chris and I and the things I learned from him directly. He had introduced me to the swinger’s lifestyle and polyamorous relationships.
I didn’t even get a chance to ask him. Chris’ response to my Facebook message that simply said “hi” was disrespectful and uncalled for. He had never directly treated me bad or like a hoe EVER. The last time I saw him was a year or so after he divorced her and remarried another woman. He came to my apartment and apologized to me for a trivial fall out and asked for friendship. We were cordial. I had no big issue with him. He had no big issue with me.
He replied “You were a hoe and I treated you as such.”
So if I’m a hoe who was single and had sex with a married man then what does that make you? Because last time I checked we “hoed” together. This prompted me to use my YouTube channel to warn women to avoid men who disrespect women by sexually abusing them and calling them out of their name. I encouraged women to make better choices. I also promoted my book. For years this man spread vicious rumors about me around the city of Atlanta. Dozens of men contacted me informing me that he was calling me a hoe. I refused to believe he’d disrespect me. Foolishly, I put entirely too much stock in a prehistoric friendship. Besides we had an agreement to respect each other’s lives outside of each other. We had fun and it was never something neither of us should have made public. It was our secret and for US. Not for the world.
After I took to my YouTube Channel, infuriated, he began a smear campaign. Remarried on his 2nd or 3rd wife (I’ve lost count he has several baby mommas) he began sensationalizing our sexual history. Disrespecting both her and I participating in the most disgusting behavior I’ve ever seen a man over 30 participate in. He told people he saw random men “run a train” on me and that I gave oral sex to dozens of men while he sat there and watched. Which was the furthest thing from the truth. I knew nothing about the swingers lifestyle when I met him. I had never participated in any kind of sexual escapades as outlandish as he claimed. I did however have a 3some with 2 men he introduced me to, under his direction. He took me to my first swingers house party. While he gave oral sex to several women on a filthy garage floor, disappointed and hurt, I began trying to find solace in a friend of mine in another part of the house. He broke the rules. One of which was to not give oral sex to others or to kiss other people.
I was a lingerie model….I’m no saint.
Yes, I’ve professionally taken photos for men’s magazines, I’ve been in music videos and on TV. I have a great deal of sex appeal. However, in real life I didn’t have an amazing sex life. The claims he made were ridiculous. The arrogance of this man and his lack of shame to be going around doing interviews, telling people private details about us on top of vicious lies insistent on embarrassing me. Meanwhile blaming ME for “telling our business.” Offline he’d torment me. Creating fake numbers only to use them to play on my phone. Admitting to me privately that it was him but lying to the public as if he wasn’t reaking havoc in my life. He’d created fake YouTube accounts on the internet and reach out to me. He joined my livestreams under a fake name consistently asking me questions about himself.
Later he’d join other people’s livestreams, forums and chatrooms calling me names and threatening anyone who would defend me. It was terrible. He reached out to the father of my son and told him false stories of me being some kind of whore who collects married men and feels comfortable with being a side chick. He accused me of stalking his daughter and tampering with his private information. All things I had never done. All I could do was defend myself. I even tried to make peace. I wrote entries on this very blog about this creep. After 3 years he still hadn’t stopped with his lies. Just last year he released images of us at the swingers party that were taken of me without my permission. This is when it occurred to me to stop being so nice and finally tell everyone what I believe his real problem is.
He is bisexual.
When he first introduced the concept of me entering the swingers lifestyle with him…My belief was that he loved seeing women have sex with each other or he’d want me to have sex with other women. But when he brought to my attention that he wanted me to have sex with 2 men I was confused even more. It was already a perversion to me for us to be involved in something so risky but I did it for him. It was his idea. He arranged it. He introduced me to the men he wanted me to interact with. It didn’t occur to me until after the 3some that Chris is bisexual. Yeah I thought about it before but this night solidified everything.
He himself didn’t participate in the 3some. That was just a form of cognitive dissonance. If he separated himself from the actual 3some itself in his mind that would erase any trace of homosexuality. However watching men have sex with each other or other women is still a homosexual tendency. I’m sure he has been with other men or at least thought about it. Most heterosexual men would not feel comfortable with seeing other men naked. Nor would they want to be in close proximity to one. Especially not see one having sex with ANYONE regardless of gender.
I was his beard.
Beard is a slang term describing a person who is used, knowingly or unknowingly, as a date, romantic partner (boyfriend or girlfriend), or spouse either to conceal infidelity or to conceal one’s sexual orientation. The American slang term originally referred to anyone who acted on behalf of another, in any transaction, to conceal a person’s true identity. The term can be used in heterosexual and homosexual contexts, but is especially used within LGBT culture.
I stole that from wikipedia. LOL
For the record, Swingers are usually married people. They are known to swap partners and have a 3rd bisexual female partner called a Unicorn. I was under the impression that he and his wife were swingers. He led me to believe that she wasn’t participating as much as she promised she would and that she had cheated on him with another man. When he first asked me to come to a swingers party with him I thought he was out of his mind. It took a couple of months for him to convince me to participate.
So let’s revisit me participating in a 3some or for shits and giggles let’s hypothetically say a “train” was ran on me. (a phrase used to appease the immature beta males of the world). Why would that be something frowned upon but it’s completely ok for men to participate in a 3some with 2 women? There is no reason in the world why in the year 2020 there are still double standards placed on women and our sexuality as a form of control. Holding a woman to a sexual standard that you can’t hold on yourself as a man is demented. How is it ok that the world can call me a hoe for having a 3some with 2 men but Chris is not classified as a bisexual for watching 2 men have sex with each other and a woman?
All types of stereotypes have been placed on me all because of my gender and race. I participated in promiscuity for a short period of time to explore my own sexuality. I learned new things about my body that I didn’t know about by dealing with this man. This is not justification for doing something as bad as an affair. However people erase the fact that he participated. He was married. I was single. He was cheating on someone. I was not. But still somehow I’m the one being punished for his behavior meanwhile he seemingly has society viewing him as a victim of mine.
He knows I know his deepest darkest secret and just in case I shared it with the world he wanted to make sure people questioned my credibility. I never misjudged him. I am a bisexual woman myself. I’ve openly admitted that. There is nothing wrong with being a part of the LGBT+ community. However do not point in the direction of another person who has openly admitted the nature of their sexuality and condemn them simply because you are too scared to be honest about your own.
I decided to stop the release of the original version of the book so that it can be rewritten without including anything that has to do with him. It’s April 23rd, 2020 and I have rewrote this book 2 times already and I still don’t feel comfortable with the end product. So I haven’t re-released it.
Men have asked me for 3somes since but not 1 man has asked me to have sex with 2 other men. If I’m a hoe, Chris is gay. He never criticized any of the men involved just ME.