I have never portrayed myself to be a perfect woman on YouTube. I am open and extremely honest about my mistakes. I’ve spoken about my poor choices in men and why women should not chose them how I did. I also spoke about why I made those choices I have. I have warned both men and women on YouTube for almost a decade to not make bad decisions in relationships that can permanently scar them. Messing around with a ghetto hoodbooger will have you effed up. I have also taught lessons I’ve learned myself. My life’s a good movie.
As an African American, college educated, single mother who is inside of the Information Technology industry, living in Northern California in a beautiful half a million dollar home, I’ve over-used myself and my life as an example to help others. I’ve done it fearlessly. I don’t like talking about others. Just ideas. I have not been concerned about the misjudgments and criticism of others. Yes, I fell flat on my face. Yes, I have been humiliated. I speak my truth, passionately. There is no I in denial. 😉 I show all emotion or lack thereof, depending upon the topic. I take pride in logic and analysis and I speak the TRUTH with no equivocations. I love my life. You think I’m the under dog. Newsflash broad I’m a champion. A winner never quit on themselves.
Without attempting to impair the thought processes of others by using racism, prejudicial rhetorics, glitz and glam, religion or facade as my crutch, I have empowered whoever is willing to listen. My talking points are basic and filled with laughter. I own a sense of comfortability. I do the best I can with what I know, genuinely. Providing counseling and guidance for those who are in need. I have displayed an immense amount of altruism for most of my life out of pure love for other human beings.
Yet, some people have been very disrespectful and derogatory when speaking of me just for shock & awe, social acceptance, inability to produce original thought provoking content, just plain misdirection of anger or jealousy. I try my hardest not to misjudge another. Especially not another African American woman. I love the Paris Milans and Chrissys. I even showed support temporarily for the Christelyn Karazins and Cynthia Gs of the YouTube world. Until…ya know. Typical Black Woman ISH. I’ve supported The Womanists and Pro Blacks. The Feminists and wannabe politicians , the gamers and geeks, the thotianas and the pickmes. Most of them have turned on me the second they felt a slight breeze. I have been attacked by people I’ve spoken so positive about. People I’ve defended and supported. Only for those who have barely listened to my content on YouTube to viciously assassinate my character. Those who continue to misinform simply because they haven’t thoroughly researched me or my story. Or they lack the ability to think outside of the narrow margin of their own limited beliefs. These people have no respect or appreciation for diversity….over zealous and pressed to give their opinion about any and everything. So anxious to be heard online because in real life their platform is weak.
I’ve given relationship advice that has helped people improve their lives and overcome hardships of epic proportions. My honesty has created unions and friendships. I’ve healed hearts and spread love. I’ve provoked thought and encouraged healthy communication. Yet somehow the best parts of me are over looked.
Tonight, I’m not going to beg for people to understand me. Or complain about someone’s opinion. I’m not going to gossip about what I heard, post my receipts or bash my baby daddy. As an African American woman who has spoken about relationships for such a long time, I have to be honest with my family. My online community. My supporters. My friends, loved ones and associates. I even want my haters to read this.
One of the worse pieces of advice I have ever heard a woman give lies in her convincing another woman that one race of man is superior to another. If you want to date interracially, that is just fine. It’s preference. If you want to convince other women to follow behind you and agree with you solely because you need that validation, Sis, knock yourself out. But to imply that an already injured, betrayed and disrespected woman of color should take solace in a race of men outside of her own, when that same race of men are the very race of men who oppressed her and her own race of men displays your deep rooted personal self hate. I promote self love, self worth, self acceptance & appreciation and self expression so that when one does walk out into the world better choices can be made in general. Especially when choosing a partner. LOVE WHO LOVES YOU. I encourage women to evaluate a man’s character, use her intuition as well as communicating properly. Instead of relying on his skin color, social media presence or economic status as measuring tape.
There are Non-Black Men who are cruel, promiscuous, abusive, broke and immature. To imply that the African American Male’s architecture is flawed and that God’s design doesn’t include the type of DNA women of color should procreate with is absurd on so many levels. I can’t begin to…
I encourage women to evaluate men AFTER they evaluate themselves. Making change from the inside out produces better results regardless to what race of man you are interacting with. That way whether you run into the educated lame, the pookie or rayray, the playa or simp, the good man or bad man, the white one or a black one you will be 100% confident in who you are and prepared to make better choices. I teach women to love themselves and self improve instead of staying the same and resulting into becoming a BEDWENCH.
I’ve been a lot of things in my 39 years of life. There are things I’ve done that I’m not so proud of. However I have so many accolades that I’ve lost count. So what I made a poor choice in man but….look at my son. I’ll mold him into a fine specimen….no worries. As women we all have at least one man who shattered our world while teaching us a lesson. Yeah Ms. Holier Than Thou, you’ve had a derivative of “Priest”.
I’m a good person with a good character. A good character I had to teach myself how to have. TRIAL AND ERROR…..I’ve swept up the broken glass. I did things in the past….we all have. I’m just the Boss Bitch who GREW UP. I have enough bravery to admit it and you don’t.
My father is black.
My brother is black.
My male cousins are black.
My uncles are black.
My son is black and so is his God Fathers.
I’m not giving up on them.
Stop reminding me and the world of the mistakes I made and start focusing on more of what I’ve done which is good. I’ve chose better.
I’m disappointed in Miss Kendall St. Charles and maybe after she reads this blog she’ll improve. She was so critical of me, posting her little Facebook video speaking about me. Did this chick just try to check my posture?! Ha! I’ve never said a word about her out of respect for THE BLACK WOMAN. I just QUIETLY agreed to disagree. Her choices are for her. Mine for me….We grown. It’s all good though. Continue loving on your white man booboo and let me do what I do. I wish nothing but the best for you. 💕