An Open Letter To The People of My Past; They Will Use YOU Against ME

Hey You…

Feel rejected? That must’ve hurt. I probably got on your nerves. Embarrassed you. I could’ve cussed you out or blocked you. It could have been anything. Here’s the truth. I never lied to you. I might not even remember you. Young & dumb is definitely a stage we’ve all been through. You are probably mad about whatever I did. Especially if you are trying to resurface in my life or feel comfortable with mentioning me negatively in conversation. Tell your story hun….do you babes. I haven’t seen you in a decade or so I’m sure. I have met over 100,000 people in my lifetime. I traveled a lot. I’ve worked a lot. I’ve been to thousands of events, house parties, kick backs, seminars and conferences.

It is a fact that I’ve learned something from you. That people will try to use your past against you. They will even try to dig up people from your past and try to use those people as well. No worries. I am unbothered. If you are that person and are allowing yourself to be used maliciously… have some self work to do. The person who is the catalyst for drama, trying to reopen old wounds, wasting their energy doing this, has personal issues themselves. Keep in mind….We are all in a process of evolution though we progress at different rates and through different lessons. Someone may choose to keep reminding us of the things we did when we were possibly selfishly unaware or simply not as educated, emotionally and physically. Someone who doesn’t want to see me become a better person continues to remind me of my mistakes in attempts to undermine my progress. It won’t work.

People don’t see everything I do so they go on the information they have accumulated from strangers on the internet, which may be an older version of me or a flat out lie altogether. Always question sources of information on the internet. Not everyone means well. They judge me in the areas they want to fix themselves. When they are bringing up my past mistakes, they are often talking to themselves about the areas of their lives they think they need to improve but haven’t made progress in.

I’m well known, loved, hated accepted, disapproved of, underappreciated, criticized and misjudged. The good comes with bad. It’s balance. Because of that I can’t stop people from using you for their own personal gain or entertainment. I wish I could. I don’t want you to be connected to me any longer. That’s not fair to you. You have your own life to live that does not include me. So don’t invite anything about me in. We didn’t work out. Whether you are an ex boyfriend, ex girlfriend, ex bestfriend, ex-lover, ex co-worker whoever you are. It was meant for us to never interact again. If you can accept your past, even with the mistakes, as apart of who you are and not use them to torture yourself, then nobody can torture you with them. That’s why when they use you it doesn’t bother me.

Sometimes people CHOOSE to see the worse in you and that’s fine. Most likely you are someone that I do NOT need to maintain a relationship or friendship with. I hold no grudge. I don’t even want to talk about you. But if you feel comfortable being used by other people as a tool to harm me… live in the past since they love it so much. If you seek their validation. But let’s be clear…. I have moved on. I would’ve acknowledged your feelings and maybe even apologized. I would’ve talked things through we had the opportunity to. That’s just the kind of person I am. You didn’t get to meet ME. You interacted with who you assumed I was. That’s the biggest problem with relationships and friendship. We tend to misunderstand each other. I could’ve misunderstood you. Lack of communication is never the solution to a problem. You have chose not to see my growth. That proves that any kind of interaction with you is unhealthy mentally and emotionally. However, this creates an opportunity for me to have a deeper acceptance of myself. You were most likely a person I met during a transition period in my life. When I was trying to figure out who I was. So now that you have participated in something so negative recently, I understand that I have to create stronger boundaries around who I give access to my vulnerable self. Your actions explains why you no longer remain in my life and are someone I’ve outgrown.

Learn how to cut out bad people in your life who would even use you in such a malicious way, just how you and I cut off each other.

My past does not define me. Neither does yours. No matter what has happened in your past, you can choose how much power over your current life you want to afford it. You cannot change the past, but you can choose how you react to it. Constantly replaying a negative event in your head greatly increases your suffering. That’s why I’ve forgotten about you. So if whatever happened between us that hurt you so bad you can choose to stop reliving the past in your head over and over again. Your mind constantly replaying a past negative event causes you substantially more suffering than the actual event itself. You actually benefit when you can forgive me without condoning what I did or didn’t do.

You can enjoy a happy relationship even if you made mistakes in a previous one.

You can learn to trust again even though others have betrayed you.

You can make wise choices even if you have made unwise ones in the past.

You can forget Soncerae even exists. I have no intention of hoarding your memories.

Sometimes we grow strong when someone sets us free, and sometimes we grow even stronger when we let someone go. It is better to be hated for what you are than loved for what you are not. Never change who you are. Be yourself. People will love you for it, and if they don’t, let them go.

Every person in your life has a lesson to teach. Sometimes you simply outgrow people. It just means that their part in your story is over and your show must go on.

If I was bad for you and you allow someone else to use you as a way to harm me, you are still attracting toxic people. Wrong things happen when you trust, and give too much attention to, the wrong people. Don’t allow others to convince you to do detrimental things to yourself or someone else. Become aware of how people may try to use your character strengths to their advantage.

Strange people accuse me of all kinds of things. Ultimately with no proof. They are just random strangers. They toss around rumors and sensationalized stories. They spread gossip and entice hatred towards me. But honestly, can’t nobody change my mind about how good of a person I am. Nor can they change the mind of someone who knows me long term. To KNOW me is to LOVE me. So to those who were in my life for a short period of time and we wasn’t each other’s cup of tea….just realize that was completely fine with me. It’s not a lot of people that I hate in this world. It’s not a lot of people I don’t get along with. Most people are strangers to me. Including you. I left all toxic relationships behind and you should too. I’ve made mistakes I know. We all have. I am holding nothing against you. I wish nothing but peace and happiness for everyone. Regardless to who they are and what they do.