Category Archives: Race & Politics

Misogyny & Sexism on YouTube

Recently, I saw that Tommy Sotomayor and Minister Jap met up in Chicago. This happened days after Minister Jap took to YouTube claiming he was going to quit posting content. He was frustrated because his videos were being reported. Instead of quitting YouTube it would simply just make more sense to stop breaking YouTube’s community guidelines giving them reason to remove content. Or start a podcast elsewhere.

Youtube’s community guidelines are clear:

Don’t post videos that encourage others to do things that might cause them to get badly hurt. One of these men or both do that EVERYDAY. The men in their audience are taking this advice and screwing up their own lives. Abusing their women ending up in all kinds of domestic violent situations or worse IN JAIL.

YouTube is not for pornography or sexually explicit content. If this describes your video, even if it’s a video of yourself, don’t post it on YouTube. Jap’s always talking about hoes and fucking. Tommy is now supposedly streaming porn from his site….who knows if that’s true. Not my business. Tommy has talked about his sex life explicitly but so have I. Moving on.

YouTube doesn’t support content that promotes or condones violence against individuals or groups based on race or ethnic origin, religion, disability, gender, age, nationality, veteran status, or sexual orientation/gender identity, or whose primary purpose is inciting hatred on the basis of these core characteristics. Promoting and condoning violence on a specific gender and race of person is the basis of Tommy & Jap’s content.

It’s not ok to post abusive videos and comments on YouTube. If harassment crosses the line into a malicious attack it can be reported and may be removed. They both do this all day everyday.

Things like predatory behavior, stalking, threats, harassment, intimidation, invading privacy, revealing other people’s personal information, and inciting others to commit violent acts or to violate the Terms of Use. They have both done this, consistently. Sometimes to defend themselves but most times to be malicious.

Seeing them two meet ultimately made me react in a neutral kind of way. I believe it’s because I tend to mind my business. One thing I can say is that it didn’t surprise me. What they both represent is a disdain for women. Especially Black Women who do not conform to the traditional gender roles expected of them. So let’s say…..Soncerae. They have disdain for Soncerae. They have showed that for many years. Nothing wrong with opinions or objectification but to sprinkle disrespect, harassment and stalking on it gives a rhetoric an entirely different flavor. It’s funny how men on YouTube actually promote it as #UNITY. Like them 2 unifying is some type of remarkable historic event that should be wrote down as the equivalent to the civil rights movement. Listen, get these men to unify with WOMEN. Especially Black ones. Then I’ll be impressed. Men teaming up with other men is what usually happens. Getting injured Black Men to heal and garner healthy relationships with Black Women is the problem. To see both of these men settle down in a healthy marriage with a Black Woman would make me clutch my pearls.

During my first conversation with Minister Jap about collaborating almost 4 years ago he told me about how much of a Tommy Sotomayor fanatic he was. He loved Tommy Sotomayor. His dream was to meet Tommy. I said to him then,

“If you are trying to get Tommy’s attention all you have to do is beef with me. Tommy hates me for some reason.”

THOSE WERE MY EXACT WORDS. From then on Jap has had some imaginary problem with me. Before I interacted with either of them they used social media as a place to disrespect women and to rant about their issues pertaining to us. Instead of just praising the kind of women they enjoy and love. Both of these men had people believing that it was ME that did something to them to make them behave in such a way when really they were attacking women online long before either of them knew who I was.

Male dominance on YouTube produces a lot of hostile commentary targeted towards women. If a woman is honest about her sexually, thinks independently, supports feminism or womanism she is brutally chastised by Black Men. The double standards among women and men on #BlackYouTube are prominent. The mob mentality is supported. Gossip, rumors, debates, disrespect are all used as bonding tools for our audiences. A demented brotherhood designed to dismantle women is celebrated. I believe that most women who support feminism or female empowerment are only interested in positively encouraging women to evolve not to belittle men. However, the message among these men isn’t to empower each other but it is more about the degradation & abuse aimed at women of color. This “brotherhood” is ran by men like Tommy Sotomayor & Minister Jap. Men who have tumultuous relationships with their negligent mothers. Men who also have a history of disrespecting women they are romantically connected to. Whether it be a sister, aunt, cousin or friend at some point these men were treated poorly by a dominant female. Any woman who may share an insufficient similarity to (their poor choices in) women they begin attacking that woman’s entire existence.

Armed with immaturity, poor communication, sadism/sadomasicism, underdeveloped thought processes, lack of critical thinking skill, and PTSD they spread a narrative that women are the catalyst for all problems associated with the dysfunction of the Black Community. Instead of dealing with the trauma associated with the negative experiences brought on by women they may have trusted in their lives, they rather project hatred to any or all women. Instead of considering that how they have responded to women in their past may be cause for the negative outcome, both of these men have spent years on in projecting their hatred for women on women, ME specifically. I became a target for them both for various reasons. Instead of becoming better men themselves they try to bully or “tough love” a woman into changing. What a destructive way to take lead. Instead of building up women they try to break us down. Let Black women form an alliance similar to theirs they’d be ready to protest, stop female unity and create hashtags promoting justice for men. Let a woman behave in any way they do…they wouldn’t stop bitching and moaning.

Instead of being able to form healthy bonds with women they take pride in having solid bonds with other men. Which to me is a tinge of homosexual. However, still an acceptable preference. These men do not understand that just because you love one thing doesn’t mean that you have to hate another. I love ketchup on my french fries. That doesn’t mean I’ve relentlessly put together a smear campaign to destroy mustard and I will execute that plan until mustard is no longer being used on anyone’s sandwich. These men however have reached out to the fatherless, leaderless, lost and injured and recruited them to perpetuate this war on Black Women.

While displaying the following traits

  1. He will zero in on specific woman and choose her as his target.
  2. As time goes on, he begins to reveal a Jekyll & Hyde personality. He may change quickly from irresistible to rude, and from rude back to irresistible.
  3. He will make promises to women and often fail to keep them. With men, on the other hand, he will almost always keep his word.
  4. His behavior toward women in general is grandiose, cocky, controlling, and self-centered.
  5. He is extremely competitive, especially with women. If a woman does better than him socially or professionally, he feels terrible. If a man does better, he may have mixed feelings about it but he is able to look at the situation objectively.
  6. He will unknowingly treat women differently from men in workplace and social settings, allowing men various liberties for which he will criticize female colleagues or friends.
  7. He will be prepared (unconsciously) to use anything within his power to make women feel miserable. He may demand sex or withhold sex in his relationships, make jokes about women or put them down in public, “borrow” their ideas in professional contexts without giving them credit, or borrow money from them without paying them back. Chastise women for their sexuality whether they’ve slept with 1 man or 10 men. It doesn’t matter.
  8. Sexually, he likes to control women and gives little or no attention to their sexual pleasure. Foreplay, if it occurs at all, is only a necessary means to an end. He likes oral sex but only as a recipient. His favorite positions enable him to avoid looking the woman in her eyes.
  9. He will cheat on women he is dating or in a relationship with. Monogamy is the last thing he feels he owes a woman.

These types of men love to put women down only to make them feel good about themselves. To see these two men unify but can’t seem to smooth out any drama that they are the catalyst for with ANY woman says a lot about where they stand mentally. Men who all act tough, with false bravado, are always the ones that get knocked the fuck out with ease.

There are a lot of men who are looking for leaders, father figures, big brothers, uncles, and mentors. Men turn to men like these to teach them how to become alpha. The toxic masculinity displayed by both of these men is perceived as positive and indicative to the evolution of Manhood. Which is ultimately unfortunate.

I have never done anything to either of these men for them to have spoken so disrespectfully about me hundreds of times in public forums while encouraging men to also be as disrespectful towards me. They even lied and told people I was stalking them and wouldn’t leave them alone. After initiating conflict EVERYTIME. They told vicious lies about me & put a magnifying glass on my videos and what I’m saying as if it was about THEM. I made more content geared towards other topics that they conveniently overlooked. Tommy was heated when I interviewed his ex on my channel like he hadn’t interviewed Chris Law. I made her promise not to say anything disrespectful or hurtful. And she agreed and kept her word. But did Tommy do that for me? No. He had Chris Law all over his channel claiming he was my ex and talking about our sex life. Chris was so dumb disrespecting me and his marriage.

I no longer expect abusive men to hold punches, feel compassion or sympathy for women. They have verbally attacked me so much that it doesn’t even bother me anymore. Minister Jap & Tommy Sotomayor have caused thousands of strange men to maliciously speak about me online. This has caused men to stalk and harass me in real life. These men have barked on me like I am a man. Men I have never met. They want to square up on a woman. Ofcourse I have expressed my opinion about these men. But why in response were they so defensive.

When we are defensive it is a sign of weakness; it shows we are not secure enough in ourselves to accept criticism or differences of opinions.

Encouraging men to be vitriol online is causing them to disconnect from women offline as well as abuse us. Egregiously sexist behavior is fostered by the “online disinhibition effect.” This effect includes the phenomenon where Internet users, operating under the protection of anonymity, may perform behaviors they ordinarily would not in either face-to-face scenarios or in virtual spaces where they are identifiable. Studies have shown links between anonymity and higher levels of online aggression and incivility. This creates an unconscious behavior that ultimately effects romantic relationships negatively in real life settings with women. Creating more of a problem that ultimately a man was attempting to solve by going to social media looking for resolutions.

There are plenty of men out there who are easily influenced. I didn’t realize I was dating one until Minister Jap got a mental hold on my son’s father.

When his words during our arguments started to sound like they were coming out of Jap’s mouth verbatim I knew Jap was talking to him. My son’s father was speaking to me in ways he had never spoke to me before. Calling me names he had never called me before. Yelling at me how Jap had online in the past. A month or so before his behavior changed drastically, Jap called me begging me to break up with my son’s father. I refused. What’s funny is Jap had this whole women empowerment speech. Like I had the vagina of wonder woman. He kept calling my son’s father “Dirty Dick Rodney.” He couldn’t persuade me so he went to my son’s father and the rest is history. Now Minister Jap can push the whole “single mom drag”. That’s all he seems to be good at. The rhetoric coming from Tommy & Japs mouth was she’s a side chick pregnant by a married man. My son’s father wasn’t married then and definitely isn’t now.

My son’s father is impressionable. He follows anyone and anybody. He doesn’t have a GED or College Education. I used to have to read to him and he doesn’t know basic math. Ofcourse he was an easy target. Most of the men in Minister Jap & Tommy’s audience are. Most men who are college educated and had a good male role model in their lives disagree with the narratives of these men. It’s ok to be impressionable if your attention is on a good influence. My son’s father was always looking for approval. He’d lie to get it because he wanted people to love him. He is an example of a man who does not know how to decipher the difference between a good influence and a bad one. His only goal was social acceptance.

These type of men on YouTube don’t want to coexist on YouTube or any other place with women. Like YouTube personally belongs to them. They have literally tried to run off every single woman with a voice on the site. They tried their hardest to run me off. It didn’t work. I’m still here. Still vocal. No matter how many names they call me. No matter how many times they attack me or try to put me down. No matter how many lies they tell or rumors they spread I’ll still express my opinions and stand up for whatever it is I believe in on whatever social media site I want to.

I have no personal vendettas against either of these men. I have moved on with my life. I am happy and very much living the life I wanted to live. I could have 1 subscriber on youtube or several hundred, it won’t matter at the end of the day. What these men choose does not make or break me. I do not digest what they eat. It’s not my business. If men are ok with allowing these type of men to lead them… fine. Just like it’s women out there who believe “Hot Girl Summer” is a women’s empowerment anthem. Whether I agree or disagree, I’m not going to spend the rest of the days of my life debating with abusive men. I just accept that they are abusive and stay away from them. Hope fully women will hear my stories and the stories of plenty others and stay away from men like this. And maybe injured men who are in need of guidance will find a better place to receive love and adoration. Instead of relying on the poisonous sources on social media. I wish both of these men the best. Finally, Jap’s dream came true. To meet Tommy Sotomayor.

10 Male Friends Who Have Given Me Hope As A Single Mother

I make so much content in regards to my son’s father that a lot of people assume I must hate men or that I do not have any male friends. Or they assume I don’t have friends in general. Foolish people make those types of horrible assumptions all of the time. I just try not to take it personal. I have to also factor in that I haven’t been very vocal about my private friendships with men because they are so sacred to me. I share 20% of my life online and the other 80% I tend to keep to myself.

Since I’ve become a single mother I’ve had some stand up guys be very supportive. They give me hope that things will work out with me and that my son and I will be fine. Some have even chipped in financially, morally and spiritually assisting me in taking care of my son. Oddly enough I did a podcast about it.

If you haven’t checked out The GodQueenLive Podcast please do by clicking here.

https://www.spreaker.com/episode/18846493

In this episode I talk in detail about the men who helped me with my son when they realized that my son’s father wasn’t standing up. Whether it was personally, professionally or financially. They all helped me not lose faith in Black Men or Black Fathers.

#1 Cam – Long time friend

I don’t care what I need or when I need it Cam is always there for me! He has been my friend over almost 15 years. I’ve never met a man kinder or more attentive. He’d make a great father and husband. He is honest. A good provider as well as a good listener. He remembers things I told him years ago that most men would have forgotten.

#2 Michael – My son’s GodFather

From the day we met each other he has provided for me and my son as if we had been friends for years. He is old fashioned, a gentleman, smart and very kind to both me and my son. He showed genuine concern for me and my son and proven to me that there is light at the end of every tunnel.

#3 Ray – My son’s Godfather and longtime family friend

Ray watched me give birth to my son. He was there for me during my pregnancy when I first moved to California. He has been a friend of my family for two decades and continues to be someone important in the life of my son.

#4 Gerald – Business Partner & longtime friend

Gerald has determination I have never seen outside of myself. He has offered me tons of opportunities to help me keep up with generational wealth. He had no problem loaning me money during my time of need and inspires me everyday to be a good business woman.

#5 Mark – YouTube Moderator/ Longtime friend, father & husband

#6 Mr Live – YouTube Moderator/ Friend, father & husband

#7 Gore – Longtime friend, Business Partner, single father

Gore has become the man he finally wanted to be after years of struggling with finding himself. However throughout the decade I’ve known him he has always shown me genuine love and care. He is my bestfriend.

#8 Shawn – Long time Friend, single father

I learned a lot from Shawn. Overcoming language barriers showed me that their are different kinds of friendships. No matter how much distance is between you people friendship is still strong. He has supported me on so many different levels without any equivocations and I respect his loyalty.

#9 Troy – Childhood friend, single father

This trouble man has been the angel and devil on my shoulder. Sometimes what he says sounds so right then other times I’m like I can’t believe he found good or humor in something so bad. Our friendship defines true friendship and is filled with love without condition.

#10 Carlton – Business Partner

Carlton, unbeknownst to him, helped me out during my year and five months of homelessness. He came to me wanting graphic design and kept his promise of referring clients. I believe he and I briefly spoke about me needing money. He put me to work. Sometimes I’d be wondering what I was going to eat for the night and he’d suddenly hit me up wanting a design. I’d be starving. I couldn’t wait for him to CashApp me. He helped me get formula and diapers for my baby so many times. He helped me with hotel stays and everything. Just my requesting designs and referring clients. He is direct. He is straightforward and honest. He was my crutch. To this day he is still one of my main clients and hopefully a solid friendship will form out of our business relationship.

Honorable Mention: My daughter’s father & my friend Pastor Robert Carpenter

This Black Woman Here Disappoints Me | Ms. Kendall St. Charles

I have never portrayed myself to be a perfect woman on YouTube. I am open and extremely honest about my mistakes. I’ve spoken about my poor choices in men and why women should not chose them how I did. I also spoke about why I made those choices I have. I have warned both men and women on YouTube for almost a decade to not make bad decisions in relationships that can permanently scar them. Messing around with a ghetto hoodbooger will have you effed up. I have also taught lessons I’ve learned myself. My life’s a good movie.

As an African American, college educated, single mother who is inside of the Information Technology industry, living in Northern California in a beautiful half a million dollar home, I’ve over-used myself and my life as an example to help others. I’ve done it fearlessly. I don’t like talking about others. Just ideas. I have not been concerned about the misjudgments and criticism of others. Yes, I fell flat on my face. Yes, I have been humiliated. I speak my truth, passionately. There is no I in denial. 😉 I show all emotion or lack thereof, depending upon the topic. I take pride in logic and analysis and I speak the TRUTH with no equivocations. I love my life. You think I’m the under dog. Newsflash broad I’m a champion. A winner never quit on themselves.

Without attempting to impair the thought processes of others by using racism, prejudicial rhetorics, glitz and glam, religion or facade as my crutch, I have empowered whoever is willing to listen. My talking points are basic and filled with laughter. I own a sense of comfortability. I do the best I can with what I know, genuinely. Providing counseling and guidance for those who are in need. I have displayed an immense amount of altruism for most of my life out of pure love for other human beings.

Yet, some people have been very disrespectful and derogatory when speaking of me just for shock & awe, social acceptance, inability to produce original thought provoking content, just plain misdirection of anger or jealousy. I try my hardest not to misjudge another. Especially not another African American woman. I love the Paris Milans and Chrissys. I even showed support temporarily for the Christelyn Karazins and Cynthia Gs of the YouTube world. Until…ya know. Typical Black Woman ISH. I’ve supported The Womanists and Pro Blacks. The Feminists and wannabe politicians , the gamers and geeks, the thotianas and the pickmes. Most of them have turned on me the second they felt a slight breeze. I have been attacked by people I’ve spoken so positive about. People I’ve defended and supported. Only for those who have barely listened to my content on YouTube to viciously assassinate my character. Those who continue to misinform simply because they haven’t thoroughly researched me or my story. Or they lack the ability to think outside of the narrow margin of their own limited beliefs. These people have no respect or appreciation for diversity….over zealous and pressed to give their opinion about any and everything. So anxious to be heard online because in real life their platform is weak.

I’ve given relationship advice that has helped people improve their lives and overcome hardships of epic proportions. My honesty has created unions and friendships. I’ve healed hearts and spread love. I’ve provoked thought and encouraged healthy communication. Yet somehow the best parts of me are over looked.

Tonight, I’m not going to beg for people to understand me. Or complain about someone’s opinion. I’m not going to gossip about what I heard, post my receipts or bash my baby daddy. As an African American woman who has spoken about relationships for such a long time, I have to be honest with my family. My online community. My supporters. My friends, loved ones and associates. I even want my haters to read this.

One of the worse pieces of advice I have ever heard a woman give lies in her convincing another woman that one race of man is superior to another. If you want to date interracially, that is just fine. It’s preference. If you want to convince other women to follow behind you and agree with you solely because you need that validation, Sis, knock yourself out. But to imply that an already injured, betrayed and disrespected woman of color should take solace in a race of men outside of her own, when that same race of men are the very race of men who oppressed her and her own race of men displays your deep rooted personal self hate. I promote self love, self worth, self acceptance & appreciation and self expression so that when one does walk out into the world better choices can be made in general. Especially when choosing a partner. LOVE WHO LOVES YOU. I encourage women to evaluate a man’s character, use her intuition as well as communicating properly. Instead of relying on his skin color, social media presence or economic status as measuring tape.

There are Non-Black Men who are cruel, promiscuous, abusive, broke and immature. To imply that the African American Male’s architecture is flawed and that God’s design doesn’t include the type of DNA women of color should procreate with is absurd on so many levels. I can’t begin to…

I encourage women to evaluate men AFTER they evaluate themselves. Making change from the inside out produces better results regardless to what race of man you are interacting with. That way whether you run into the educated lame, the pookie or rayray, the playa or simp, the good man or bad man, the white one or a black one you will be 100% confident in who you are and prepared to make better choices. I teach women to love themselves and self improve instead of staying the same and resulting into becoming a BEDWENCH.

I’ve been a lot of things in my 39 years of life. There are things I’ve done that I’m not so proud of. However I have so many accolades that I’ve lost count. So what I made a poor choice in man but….look at my son. I’ll mold him into a fine specimen….no worries. As women we all have at least one man who shattered our world while teaching us a lesson. Yeah Ms. Holier Than Thou, you’ve had a derivative of “Priest”.

I’m a good person with a good character. A good character I had to teach myself how to have. TRIAL AND ERROR…..I’ve swept up the broken glass. I did things in the past….we all have. I’m just the Boss Bitch who GREW UP. I have enough bravery to admit it and you don’t.

My father is black.

My brother is black.

My male cousins are black.

My uncles are black.

My son is black and so is his God Fathers.

I’m not giving up on them.

Stop reminding me and the world of the mistakes I made and start focusing on more of what I’ve done which is good. I’ve chose better.

I’m disappointed in Miss Kendall St. Charles and maybe after she reads this blog she’ll improve. She was so critical of me, posting her little Facebook video speaking about me. Did this chick just try to check my posture?! Ha! I’ve never said a word about her out of respect for THE BLACK WOMAN. I just QUIETLY agreed to disagree. Her choices are for her. Mine for me….We grown. It’s all good though. Continue loving on your white man booboo and let me do what I do. I wish nothing but the best for you. 💕

Is The Black Woman God?

I watched a debate tonight with Brother Polight and Minister Jap about whether or not The Black Woman is God. When I speak of God or even the term Queen I’ve said plenty of times that I believe not all women who are Black should be classified as Queen. This also applies to the term God. I’ve said before that I believe that in some form or fashion everyone is an extension of God or a higher power.

I am Buddhist. My religion teaches me to not believe in a deity. So when I use the term “universe” to describe God that is why. It’s just showing that I have respect for a power higher than my own. I use the term God so that others can relate. Do I believe Black Women are God, no. However I do believe that females should be respected simply because we have the power to give life. Men should also be respected for assisting with that life no matter how minuscule their effort.

All
of our perspectives are different. I am QUEEN. There are plenty of people who also agree that I AM QUEEN. There are also people who believe I am not. Their perspective of me is NOT a reflection of me. It is a reflection of their overall understanding in regards to life in general. My observation is that males who have unhealthy relationships with females especially their mothers who are not Queens will always find a way to negate any positive expression in regards to women. These men are not of royalty. Males who have had healthy relationships with females including their mother who are Queens will always think highly of women. These men are royalty. No man should subscribe to any religion or belief system that encourages him to minimize the power of women or to demean us. Both men and women hold power to create and manifest especially in regards to opulence. There is divine design for each person. You are only as God-like as you believe yourself to be or that you believe others to be. Certain things belong to you and some things belong to others by divine right.

God or the universe is not petty. It does not know gender, color or religion. It does not acknowledge the difference. It allows man to determine it’s purpose in man’s own life. Ergo, FREE WILL. So who is right? Brother Polight the believer of Black Woman Are God or Minister Jap who is uncertain of who God is to him? They both are. As powerful human beings they both get to decide which belief they want to have to guide their lives. Once they make a choice exactly what belief they deem suitable for them the universe will manifest experiences that prove their belief to be suitable and it will also produce other people who believe in those same principles.

Women in the Qur’an are portrayed in a positive light, while others are condemned for their actions. Just like the Bible. The Bible however speaks specifically of women by name. The disregard for women in Suras is no different than misogynistic doctrines in Buddhism. We are always classified as inferior all across the board. Why is that? When women seem to be more spiritually in tune and intuitive? Women are the stronger sex, spiritually speaking. It reminds me of the man with mental strength being disregarded because he lack physical strength.

My belief is…a man rejecting the idea of a woman being God comes from his own insecurities and shortcomings. Just the same as if a woman was rejecting the idea of a man being God. All who believe in a God or Gods believe their God is the right God. A man needing to minimalize a woman’s qualities to shine light on his own should be psychologically evaluated because a deeper issue is present. If women are NOT God and we are in fact inferior we should be protected by men not disrespected and devalued. Then no man should say “She’s just a woman” in a derogatory way, where she deserved to be treated as a second class citizen. Even if she makes a mistake, an inferior woman who does not know better should not be condemned for actions.

If a woman is NOT inferior and is God she is aware of her choices. You don’t have to teach a woman she is God. She knows who she is. Would you verbally or physically abuse a defenseless animal or a baby less able? Hopefully not. So as a man when you say “She’s just a woman” it should be in the tone of compassion and love for something fragile and delicate. Men who do not know self love are usually the same men who lack self respect as well as empathy for women who are surviving atrocity, false narratives and discrimination. The only way these men uplift themselves is by putting down whom they believe is unfairly more powerful than them. The problem is a lot of males can’t decipher the difference between a woman who is QUEEN and a woman who is not. My belief is that Minister Jap does not recognize the difference. Royalty recognizes royalty. The inferior do not know better.

The Black Community An “Unkind” Race

Last night I did an interview on a channel called InnerBeautyTV with host Nicole Michelle. When she asked me to come on her channel I was hesitate intially because of my previous interactions with other content creators. A lot of us are not interested in collaborating because of drama that seems to be envitable during times of attempted unification or during expressions of opinion that may differ from the masses.

Halfway through the interview Nicole had to address a few viewers who were posting cruel comments in the live chat.

Our race is an unkind race. All most of us do is fight each other, judge each other and promote negativity. Then most get upset at other races of people when they display a level of disgust when dealing with Blacks. The African Americans who are kind, honest, intellectual, patient and loving are demonized, degraded, classified as weak and become the catalyst for extreme ostracism.

I don’t usually do free interviews. I rarely do interviews at all. I believed that Nicole had a cause. She primarily wants to provide Black Woman who are injured, misguided or misunderstood a sanctuary, a place of refuge. A place where Black Women are treated like human beings. A place where we can heal, improve, learn and inspire each other.

She assured me before the interview that she’d invite other panelists on with us if they showed me respect and handled sensitive topics with care. The first panelist was a person who was extremely judgmental. A person who’s gender as well as sexuality was questionable. I didn’t know if I was talking to a disrespectful homosexual male or a disrespectful masculine woman. Yes this person was rude and condescending. As if there was room for “it” to be holier than thou.

Nicole’s second surprise panelist was an aggressive male with suspect moral character that I had a negative Youtube history with. Valdez/The Angry Man has the proclivity to be disrespectful towards women of color and displays a level of ignorance only when in the presence of other immature Black Men on YouTube.

During my second trimester of pregnancy Valdez came into a livestream I was conducting and promised me in the chat that he’d refrain from speaking about my misfortune. Only for a few weeks later to go back on his word making me the butt of hateful cruel jokes while joining another male content creator’s livestream. One who has built his reputation on his disdain for Black Single Mothers and I’ve literally had to file charges against for harassment. Before Valdez participated in such vile activity I used my platform, making several videos encouraging people to subscribe to his new channel. His original channel was wrongfully terminated. I now regret showing him that level of support.

I drew the line there. INTERVIEW OVER! I will not entertain drama. I was only there to tell my story to help other women. I excused myself and ended the interview so I wouldn’t disrespect Nicole’s platform. I would never allow him in my presence. So for Nicole to think it was ok for he and I to share a platform together was absurd. A platform that was supposed to be a sanctuary for Black Women, she thought it was ok to bring a disrespectful insensitive Black Male on who has publicly disrespected me and other Black Women on countless occasions. I was disappointed.

Valdez is a man and a father. Instead of being so concerned about femininity, sticking his nose in women’s issues, he needs to start using his voice more responsibly. Teach these men how to be good fathers, boyfriends and husbands. Teach these men how not to piss on the toilet seat. Be lessed concerned about Soncerae and her woman and motherhood. If more men played their position, walking by example it would be more Alpha & Sigma males instead of all of these weak minded Betas poisoning our kingdom. Stay in your lane. Men of power should tackle men’s issues and let women of power educate, empower and inspire development in females. Men like Valdez are part of the problem not assisting with solution.

I am transparent and honest. For everything I say I’ve provided proof. I don’t fling accusations and I don’t gossip. I don’t profess to be innocent or perfect. However, I am a good person. I’ve made mistakes and admitted to them. Most people on YouTube who claim to have a big problem with me have never met me. THEY ARE ALL STRANGERS.

I am the Black Woman who is aiming to stop our community from praising Black Men for abandoning their families, misogyny, sexism, domestic violence, verbal, sexual and emotional abuse. If that’s not your plight I respect that. It’s my journey. What happened between Priest, Justice and I is not farfetched. It has happened in our community so many times. So much so that we as a community have normalized it and demonized any woman involved in this type of situation. Meanwhile the man involved doesn’t have to take accountability. As far as I’m concerned he and I went in this together so we are going to both take responsibility. He does not get a pass.

You all may not hold Priest responsible for misleading me, manipulating me and abandoning his son but I do. I encourage all women to do so. Priest being separated doesn’t mean it was ok to abandon Justice. Their are plenty of responsible Baby Daddys, ex husbands and ex boyfriends. I wish people stop glorifying him treating me and/or his son poorly. I didn’t allow that with my daughter’s father or any other man I was connected to romantically so I’m not doing it with Priest either. You can piss and moan until the cows come home I’ll still hold him accountable for what he’s done. Whether I missed red flags or not I didn’t deserve to be treated that way. Had he been a good person this wouldn’t have happened. If he was a devoted husband he would have never put himself in a position to be with me to begin with. And his “wife” is no saint either. She misled me as well. But people don’t hold them responsible. They blame me. Instead of looking at this married couple wondering why they both stepped out of their marriage and were both taking other people serious. People want to make me the big bad wolf for giving a man in transition assistance with his life.

Any men watching my story unfold please encourage other men to stop behaving how Priest has instead of chastising women for choosing men who were PRETENDING to be in love unbeknownst to the woman involved. We all have been played. Allow women to assist women. Worry about your own gender and help improve them.

Most of you are watching me for entertainment purposes only so I barely take your opinions serious. But for the women out there who appreciate my story. I go through this publicly for YOU. Everything will be ok honey. I promise you that I will continue to fight for us. We are kind, intelligent and strong. We are loving, resilient and confident. We will push past every trial, every hardship and even misjudgment, rudeness, ignorance and the lack of compassion our own race has for us. Overcoming it is a process. Watch me make it and be inspired. ❤