Category Archives: Sexuality

Single Mothers With Multiple Baby Daddies Shouldn’t Be Judged?!

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My happiness is more important than social media. I see too many people attempting to take my happiness from me in my comment section. So I disabled my comments and user ratings. I’ve always given out my address encouraging people to email me if they have video topic suggestions. I received this email. It was about a video I did about women who have multiple deadbeat baby daddies. I also spoke about how women should stop requiring that the Father that IS supporting his child also be financially responsible for the children of those deadbeat dads just so those children can feel equal.

Soncerae,

I just finished watching your “More than 1 Baby Daddy?!? Single Mothers MUST stop doing this!!!” video and I must say that I was agreeing with most of what you had to say until you decided to judge women who have small children with more than one baby daddy. News flash: it doesn’t matter if your kids are 18 years or 18 months apart! You’re still gonna be looked at as a woman with multiple baby daddies. I’m not emailing you to attack you because that’s not what I do but your comments are turned off and it was disappointing to hear you appear to be talking down about and judging women who society looks at just like they look at you, even though your kids have a significant age gap: A Baby Mama with multiple baby daddies. Now, I do absolutely agree that a woman should use whatever child support money she gets towards the child/children that it’s intended for. That’s the correct thing to do. No one should be expectedto take care of kids that aren’t theirs, however if a man gets involved with a woman who they already know has (a) kid(s) by other men, common sense is going to tell him to walk away from that situation before he makes his own kid with her or realize that at some point some of whatever money that’s coming in is going to go towards all the kids at some point (not all the time) and if the man wants his kid to have specific items then buy those items outright instead of handing over money. If he’s making payments through the child support office I’m sure that if how the money is being used is in question, then he can request documentation/receipts/statements/proof on how the child support money is being spent. Worse come to worse, if he feels his child is not getting the financial support he provides or the care the child needs, then his next step should be trying to get primary custody. Once again, I’m not contacting you to attack you I’m just sharing my thoughts on your video. I watch your content fairly often because it’s good and will continue to do so.

Sincerely,

Nina

I want to publicly address this. I responded to her. I thanked her for her comment however I also made sure to express to her that I was tired of everyone taking everything I say so personal when it’s just an opinion. Everyone is so over emotional and sensitive. All over social media. I need to do a video about self control and discipline one day soon. I think the lack of discipline on YouTube is most likely what annoys me most. Everyone wants to give their opinion but they are so emotionally invested in it like it effects their life specifically. Like their entire world shatters if someone disagrees. When it’s just dialogue, perspectives and entertainment. If whatever is being said doesn’t apply to you commenting on it negatively is a waste of energy. You can still comment remove the toxic passion.

I want to make a few things clear for the sensitive single mothers who feel judged.

She said: I was agreeing with most of what you had to say until you decided to judge women who have small children with more than one baby daddy.

I don’t know why everyone wants everyone to agree with them like independently thinking is a death sentence. My immediate internal response to this was IDGAF….it’s so unimportant. It’s odd to me that when someone agrees they have nothing valuable to say to me but when they disagree they type a long ass dissertation explaining why. #2 I’ve never been the type of person to not judge. I try but it’s not natural. I’ve encouraged others to not judge. However most people who have been listening to me long enough know that when I say don’t judge what I mean is: Don’t misjudge. Don’t make poor judgment. We always judge. Everyone, including the person who sent me this email who was judging me because I judged someone else.

She said: News flash: it doesn’t matter if your kids are 18 years or 18 months apart! You’re still gonna be looked at as a woman with multiple baby daddies.

Who gives a fuck if people look at you or me as a woman with multiple baby daddies? I don’t. That’s not even my issue with women who have multiple baby daddies. Who cares what people think. You’d have to listen to the video to hear me talk about the age gap between my kids. My daughter is 19 and my son is 1. Inside of my video I said that it makes sense that I have two different baby daddies because of the huge gap in between relationships. Twenty years is a long time. That’s 2 damn decades. It’s like this person overlooked what my issue was with women with multiple baby daddies altogether.

She said: I’m not emailing you to attack you because that’s not what I do but your comments are turned off and it was disappointing to hear you appear to be talking down about and judging women.

Looks like an attack to me. If I wanted comments in reference to this video I would have left my comments on.

She said: No one should be expectedto take care of kids that aren’t theirs, however if a man gets involved with a woman who they already know has (a) kid(s) by other men, common sense is going to tell him to walk away from that situation before he makes his own kid with her…

Here’s where the deflection comes in and some single mothers expect everyone else to take responsibility for their actions but don’t require that they themselves display that same discipline. Pressure is put on men who aren’t careful about who they procreate with. Women should also have that same pressure put on them. Match that energy when you are speaking about this. Just like a man should have common sense, so should a woman. She should require that a birth control plan be in place. . If she already has multiple children with multiple fathers she should know better than to have another child by a different man. She should walk away from that situation before she makes another child with him.

She continued to say: …realize that at some point some of whatever money that’s coming in is going to go towards all the kids at some point (not all the time) and if the man wants his kid to have specific items then buy those items outright instead of handing over money.

NO NO NO…..Mothers please make your own money. Not all money coming into your household is for all of your children when you have multiple baby daddies. I’m sorry it just doesn’t work that way. Especially not to men. Single mothers have got to start considering where these men want their money to go to. If the fathers of your children put money in your hands for the children that you share please understand that he is trusting you to take care of his child financially. Key words: HIS CHILD. It’s not for your entire household. This is why men hate giving you money. You try to forcefully make him invest in things that he didn’t sign up for. Sometimes TIME doesn’t permit a man to go shopping and get his kids specific things. The meme I spoke about in the video was about a mother who wanted her children to experience life equally. No matter how hard we try as mothers we will never be able to equally be attentive to more than 2 children especially if they have different fathers.

Start thinking this through, ladies. If your child’s father Kevin goes shopping for his child Brandon and Brandon comes home with designer, name brand, EVERYTHING for school, your other children Marcus & Tony who are products of the deadbeat dads will feel even worse seeing Brandon have the finer things in life when they themselves don’t. So if you are truly trying to make all of your kids feel equal instead of spending all of the money on Brandon, spend half of it and save the rest for the future things that Brandon may need. You should already be making enough money to take care of Marcus & Tony so you shouldn’t need Kevin’s money to take care of them. Stop thinking emotionally and think logically. It is not Kevin’s responsibility to take care of Marcus & Tony. It is YOURS. You should already have money stashed away for them for school. If you are good with your finances you don’t need to take from Brandon to give to your other children. Don’t pretend like the day Kevin gave you money for Brandon that that was the very first day Marcus & Tony had deadbeat daddies. They were deadbeat daddies before the kids started school. You should be prepared for this. Even if Kevin didn’t give you money, you are their mother you should already be so used to taking care of them without the help of a man. This entire thing isn’t about a single mother taking care of kids equally. This is about a single mother being inconsiderate. This is one of the reasons why men are running away from marriage, fatherhood and all types of other things that we fuss at them about, thinking it’s justifiable.

Plot twist…..

Nina missed the entire reason why I was “judging” women in the video who have multiple baby daddies. It isn’t because they have multiple kids by multiple men. Yeah that’s ridiculous on so many levels but that’s not even my issue.

I responded to her email using ample amount of profanity. She probably thought I was mad. I think I was annoyed. LOLOL

I replied: It’s not about me judging a mother. I don’t give a fuck what men think about women with multiple kids. What I give a fuck about is a woman having multiple kids by niggas who don’t give a fuck about their kids. How the fuck does any woman have 2 deadbeat baby daddies or more? That says a lot about the mother. Why does she continue to chose men who would treat her or her kids that way?!? Period. It’s already bad that 1 is that way to 1 child but for all of your baby daddies to be deadbeats says something about your poor choices as a woman; not these men. Take your time with men. I have 1 deadbeat dad I’m not about to spread my legs wide for another one to come and abandon ANOTHER child. It took 20 years for God to bless me with my son after I had my daughter. It’s going to take another 20 for a man to convince me to even have unprotected sex with him. Bitches need to make these bums put on condoms instead of getting uncomfortable everytime someone calls them out on their bullshit. Choose and do better next time is my moto. Stop making the same poor choice over and over.

Vulgar right? I know. This is a serious issue and it frustrates me. I need to communicate better. Anyway! If you have any other comments pertaining to this matter let me know.

soncerae@gmail.com

When she said: If he’s making payments through the child support office I’m sure that if how the money is being used is in question, then he can request documentation/receipts/statements/proof on how the child support money is being spent. Worse come to worse, if he feels his child is not getting the financial support he provides or the care the child needs, then his next step should be trying to get primary custody. Once again, I’m not contacting you to attack you I’m just sharing my thoughts on your video. I watch your content fairly often because it’s good and will continue to do so.

I was like….so you want men to go the extra mile to do all of this but women can’t go the extra mile and be considerate so he won’t have to go through all of this?!?! Ladies, the drama has to stop somewhere. We are never going to get this coparenting thing under control if we don’t stop being selfish, inconsiderate, hard to communicate with and stubborn. Stop this please.

Be sure to check out richsinglemomma.com for more tips on how to set yourself financially straight so you won’t NEED the child support checks.

Misogyny & Sexism on YouTube

Recently, I saw that Tommy Sotomayor and Minister Jap met up in Chicago. This happened days after Minister Jap took to YouTube claiming he was going to quit posting content. He was frustrated because his videos were being reported. Instead of quitting YouTube it would simply just make more sense to stop breaking YouTube’s community guidelines giving them reason to remove content. Or start a podcast elsewhere.

Youtube’s community guidelines are clear:

Don’t post videos that encourage others to do things that might cause them to get badly hurt. One of these men or both do that EVERYDAY. The men in their audience are taking this advice and screwing up their own lives. Abusing their women ending up in all kinds of domestic violent situations or worse IN JAIL.

YouTube is not for pornography or sexually explicit content. If this describes your video, even if it’s a video of yourself, don’t post it on YouTube. Jap’s always talking about hoes and fucking. Tommy is now supposedly streaming porn from his site….who knows if that’s true. Not my business. Tommy has talked about his sex life explicitly but so have I. Moving on.

YouTube doesn’t support content that promotes or condones violence against individuals or groups based on race or ethnic origin, religion, disability, gender, age, nationality, veteran status, or sexual orientation/gender identity, or whose primary purpose is inciting hatred on the basis of these core characteristics. Promoting and condoning violence on a specific gender and race of person is the basis of Tommy & Jap’s content.

It’s not ok to post abusive videos and comments on YouTube. If harassment crosses the line into a malicious attack it can be reported and may be removed. They both do this all day everyday.

Things like predatory behavior, stalking, threats, harassment, intimidation, invading privacy, revealing other people’s personal information, and inciting others to commit violent acts or to violate the Terms of Use. They have both done this, consistently. Sometimes to defend themselves but most times to be malicious.

Seeing them two meet ultimately made me react in a neutral kind of way. I believe it’s because I tend to mind my business. One thing I can say is that it didn’t surprise me. What they both represent is a disdain for women. Especially Black Women who do not conform to the traditional gender roles expected of them. So let’s say…..Soncerae. They have disdain for Soncerae. They have showed that for many years. Nothing wrong with opinions or objectification but to sprinkle disrespect, harassment and stalking on it gives a rhetoric an entirely different flavor. It’s funny how men on YouTube actually promote it as #UNITY. Like them 2 unifying is some type of remarkable historic event that should be wrote down as the equivalent to the civil rights movement. Listen, get these men to unify with WOMEN. Especially Black ones. Then I’ll be impressed. Men teaming up with other men is what usually happens. Getting injured Black Men to heal and garner healthy relationships with Black Women is the problem. To see both of these men settle down in a healthy marriage with a Black Woman would make me clutch my pearls.

During my first conversation with Minister Jap about collaborating almost 4 years ago he told me about how much of a Tommy Sotomayor fanatic he was. He loved Tommy Sotomayor. His dream was to meet Tommy. I said to him then,

“If you are trying to get Tommy’s attention all you have to do is beef with me. Tommy hates me for some reason.”

THOSE WERE MY EXACT WORDS. From then on Jap has had some imaginary problem with me. Before I interacted with either of them they used social media as a place to disrespect women and to rant about their issues pertaining to us. Instead of just praising the kind of women they enjoy and love. Both of these men had people believing that it was ME that did something to them to make them behave in such a way when really they were attacking women online long before either of them knew who I was.

Male dominance on YouTube produces a lot of hostile commentary targeted towards women. If a woman is honest about her sexually, thinks independently, supports feminism or womanism she is brutally chastised by Black Men. The double standards among women and men on #BlackYouTube are prominent. The mob mentality is supported. Gossip, rumors, debates, disrespect are all used as bonding tools for our audiences. A demented brotherhood designed to dismantle women is celebrated. I believe that most women who support feminism or female empowerment are only interested in positively encouraging women to evolve not to belittle men. However, the message among these men isn’t to empower each other but it is more about the degradation & abuse aimed at women of color. This “brotherhood” is ran by men like Tommy Sotomayor & Minister Jap. Men who have tumultuous relationships with their negligent mothers. Men who also have a history of disrespecting women they are romantically connected to. Whether it be a sister, aunt, cousin or friend at some point these men were treated poorly by a dominant female. Any woman who may share an insufficient similarity to (their poor choices in) women they begin attacking that woman’s entire existence.

Armed with immaturity, poor communication, sadism/sadomasicism, underdeveloped thought processes, lack of critical thinking skill, and PTSD they spread a narrative that women are the catalyst for all problems associated with the dysfunction of the Black Community. Instead of dealing with the trauma associated with the negative experiences brought on by women they may have trusted in their lives, they rather project hatred to any or all women. Instead of considering that how they have responded to women in their past may be cause for the negative outcome, both of these men have spent years on in projecting their hatred for women on women, ME specifically. I became a target for them both for various reasons. Instead of becoming better men themselves they try to bully or “tough love” a woman into changing. What a destructive way to take lead. Instead of building up women they try to break us down. Let Black women form an alliance similar to theirs they’d be ready to protest, stop female unity and create hashtags promoting justice for men. Let a woman behave in any way they do…they wouldn’t stop bitching and moaning.

Instead of being able to form healthy bonds with women they take pride in having solid bonds with other men. Which to me is a tinge of homosexual. However, still an acceptable preference. These men do not understand that just because you love one thing doesn’t mean that you have to hate another. I love ketchup on my french fries. That doesn’t mean I’ve relentlessly put together a smear campaign to destroy mustard and I will execute that plan until mustard is no longer being used on anyone’s sandwich. These men however have reached out to the fatherless, leaderless, lost and injured and recruited them to perpetuate this war on Black Women.

While displaying the following traits

  1. He will zero in on specific woman and choose her as his target.
  2. As time goes on, he begins to reveal a Jekyll & Hyde personality. He may change quickly from irresistible to rude, and from rude back to irresistible.
  3. He will make promises to women and often fail to keep them. With men, on the other hand, he will almost always keep his word.
  4. His behavior toward women in general is grandiose, cocky, controlling, and self-centered.
  5. He is extremely competitive, especially with women. If a woman does better than him socially or professionally, he feels terrible. If a man does better, he may have mixed feelings about it but he is able to look at the situation objectively.
  6. He will unknowingly treat women differently from men in workplace and social settings, allowing men various liberties for which he will criticize female colleagues or friends.
  7. He will be prepared (unconsciously) to use anything within his power to make women feel miserable. He may demand sex or withhold sex in his relationships, make jokes about women or put them down in public, “borrow” their ideas in professional contexts without giving them credit, or borrow money from them without paying them back. Chastise women for their sexuality whether they’ve slept with 1 man or 10 men. It doesn’t matter.
  8. Sexually, he likes to control women and gives little or no attention to their sexual pleasure. Foreplay, if it occurs at all, is only a necessary means to an end. He likes oral sex but only as a recipient. His favorite positions enable him to avoid looking the woman in her eyes.
  9. He will cheat on women he is dating or in a relationship with. Monogamy is the last thing he feels he owes a woman.

These types of men love to put women down only to make them feel good about themselves. To see these two men unify but can’t seem to smooth out any drama that they are the catalyst for with ANY woman says a lot about where they stand mentally. Men who all act tough, with false bravado, are always the ones that get knocked the fuck out with ease.

There are a lot of men who are looking for leaders, father figures, big brothers, uncles, and mentors. Men turn to men like these to teach them how to become alpha. The toxic masculinity displayed by both of these men is perceived as positive and indicative to the evolution of Manhood. Which is ultimately unfortunate.

I have never done anything to either of these men for them to have spoken so disrespectfully about me hundreds of times in public forums while encouraging men to also be as disrespectful towards me. They even lied and told people I was stalking them and wouldn’t leave them alone. After initiating conflict EVERYTIME. They told vicious lies about me & put a magnifying glass on my videos and what I’m saying as if it was about THEM. I made more content geared towards other topics that they conveniently overlooked. Tommy was heated when I interviewed his ex on my channel like he hadn’t interviewed Chris Law. I made her promise not to say anything disrespectful or hurtful. And she agreed and kept her word. But did Tommy do that for me? No. He had Chris Law all over his channel claiming he was my ex and talking about our sex life. Chris was so dumb disrespecting me and his marriage.

I no longer expect abusive men to hold punches, feel compassion or sympathy for women. They have verbally attacked me so much that it doesn’t even bother me anymore. Minister Jap & Tommy Sotomayor have caused thousands of strange men to maliciously speak about me online. This has caused men to stalk and harass me in real life. These men have barked on me like I am a man. Men I have never met. They want to square up on a woman. Ofcourse I have expressed my opinion about these men. But why in response were they so defensive.

When we are defensive it is a sign of weakness; it shows we are not secure enough in ourselves to accept criticism or differences of opinions.

Encouraging men to be vitriol online is causing them to disconnect from women offline as well as abuse us. Egregiously sexist behavior is fostered by the “online disinhibition effect.” This effect includes the phenomenon where Internet users, operating under the protection of anonymity, may perform behaviors they ordinarily would not in either face-to-face scenarios or in virtual spaces where they are identifiable. Studies have shown links between anonymity and higher levels of online aggression and incivility. This creates an unconscious behavior that ultimately effects romantic relationships negatively in real life settings with women. Creating more of a problem that ultimately a man was attempting to solve by going to social media looking for resolutions.

There are plenty of men out there who are easily influenced. I didn’t realize I was dating one until Minister Jap got a mental hold on my son’s father.

When his words during our arguments started to sound like they were coming out of Jap’s mouth verbatim I knew Jap was talking to him. My son’s father was speaking to me in ways he had never spoke to me before. Calling me names he had never called me before. Yelling at me how Jap had online in the past. A month or so before his behavior changed drastically, Jap called me begging me to break up with my son’s father. I refused. What’s funny is Jap had this whole women empowerment speech. Like I had the vagina of wonder woman. He kept calling my son’s father “Dirty Dick Rodney.” He couldn’t persuade me so he went to my son’s father and the rest is history. Now Minister Jap can push the whole “single mom drag”. That’s all he seems to be good at. The rhetoric coming from Tommy & Japs mouth was she’s a side chick pregnant by a married man. My son’s father wasn’t married then and definitely isn’t now.

My son’s father is impressionable. He follows anyone and anybody. He doesn’t have a GED or College Education. I used to have to read to him and he doesn’t know basic math. Ofcourse he was an easy target. Most of the men in Minister Jap & Tommy’s audience are. Most men who are college educated and had a good male role model in their lives disagree with the narratives of these men. It’s ok to be impressionable if your attention is on a good influence. My son’s father was always looking for approval. He’d lie to get it because he wanted people to love him. He is an example of a man who does not know how to decipher the difference between a good influence and a bad one. His only goal was social acceptance.

These type of men on YouTube don’t want to coexist on YouTube or any other place with women. Like YouTube personally belongs to them. They have literally tried to run off every single woman with a voice on the site. They tried their hardest to run me off. It didn’t work. I’m still here. Still vocal. No matter how many names they call me. No matter how many times they attack me or try to put me down. No matter how many lies they tell or rumors they spread I’ll still express my opinions and stand up for whatever it is I believe in on whatever social media site I want to.

I have no personal vendettas against either of these men. I have moved on with my life. I am happy and very much living the life I wanted to live. I could have 1 subscriber on youtube or several hundred, it won’t matter at the end of the day. What these men choose does not make or break me. I do not digest what they eat. It’s not my business. If men are ok with allowing these type of men to lead them… fine. Just like it’s women out there who believe “Hot Girl Summer” is a women’s empowerment anthem. Whether I agree or disagree, I’m not going to spend the rest of the days of my life debating with abusive men. I just accept that they are abusive and stay away from them. Hope fully women will hear my stories and the stories of plenty others and stay away from men like this. And maybe injured men who are in need of guidance will find a better place to receive love and adoration. Instead of relying on the poisonous sources on social media. I wish both of these men the best. Finally, Jap’s dream came true. To meet Tommy Sotomayor.

Soncerae Is Being Severely Stalked By Real Estate Investment Scammer Sean Tucker

For months Sean Tucker aka STL4U created countless 8 hr livestreams using Google Hangouts On Air to post malicous commentary about me. Initially he would contact me in my comment sections. Then a month or so ago his disturbing behavior escalated into something more demented. In these livestreams included pictures he stole from my Instagram and Facebook account. These images include my family. He also has used copywritten footage from my YouTube channel. Using his channel he

  • Encouraged others to send me unsolicited and/or threatening e-mail or to overwhelm me with e-mail messages.
  • Encouraging others who have shown hatred towards me to contact him. He then provides them with social acceptance. Meanwhile chastising or ostrecizing others who defended me or held him accountabile for his malicious behavior.
  • Encouraging people to do dislike mobs on my channel. Misusing the user ratings. As well as encourage people to no longer support me and instead hate me. Meanwhile using my name and this malicious behavior to get views and subscribers.
  • Hosting roast sessions about me where users gather together on group and live chats only to make derogatory deceptive statements about me.
  • Spreading rumors about my personal finances, places of residency, personal hygiene, parenting skills.
  • Making defamatory comments calling me names
  • Sending negative messages directly to me
  • Impersonating me online by sending a inflammatory, controversial or enticing messages and comments which causes others to respond negatively to me.
  • Harassing me during a live chats.
  • Leaving abusive messages online, including social media sites.
  • Manipulating images of me turning them into graphic material that is knowingly offensive.
  • Creating online content that depicts me in negative ways.
  • Attempting to sabotage my online personality.
  • Speaking as if he knows me personally.
  • Taking clips from videos I’ve created and twisting the intented perspective to make it fit his false narrative about me. Stretching!

This cyber harassment and stalking has lasted for 3 years. Sean Tucker has joined in with my former intimate partner Chris Law, YouTuber Minister Jap aka Timothy Johnson, Webcam/Pornography Model/Actress LaVonya Edwards aka Bomb Cherry, and ex con Warren Dalferes as they all obsessively cyber stalk and harass me daily on several social media platforms.

People have tried to warn him about his obsession. In these livestreams without tangible proof Sean Tucker has made countless accusations attempting to assassinate my character by accusing me of scamming, pedophilia, stalking as well as other utterly ridiculous claims that could only come from the mouth of someone mentally unstable. In one livestream he screenshared him searching a real estate website called Zillow, claiming that a property in Sacramento California was my place of residency after he compared it to a photo collage I posted on my Instagram of the inside of my home. I live in San Francisco California and it’s creepy to know that some strange man I’ve never met is searching California using all kinds of location apps and websites just to find out where I live. This proves that he in fact cyber stalks me.

He also altered an image of me during my labor and delivery into a sick joke about my feminine hygiene. As well as misused product promo materials from the website Nutrablast.com manipulating images of me. He has made disrespectful comments about my children, my mother and my sister.

He falsely claims he has pornography of me and nudes photos that were provided to him by Chris Law. He has spoken about my personal finances as if I’ve lied about them. Falsely claiming I post people’s private information on this very blog. When everything I post about others is PUBLIC KNOWLEDGE or proof of me being cyber stalked and harassed. He has spoken disrespectfully about my sexuality & celibacy. He has mocked my spiritually as well as spoken immaturely about my content directed towards assisting Single Parents.

I do not talk about this man. I do not post content about any of these people. I have not spoken to or about their families with disrespect of ANY kind. I do not stalk or harass these people at all. All I do is post on my blog every time they harass me and I provide proof of their actions. These people terrorize and torment me meanwhile lying to others claiming I do things to them. I do nothing to these people at all. They know this type of behavior is wrong, especially for people over 30 years old. Yet they continue to participate in it.

This vitriol content has been reported to YouTube and some of the content has been removed. Youtube is intending on removing more of the content after review. If you have any information I can report to the local authorities about this man please email me soncerae@gmail.com

medicine

This past 3 years have been odd to say the least. I have another man fetishing my feet. Following me on all social media platforms begging me to let him pay me to take pictures of my feet. I have another female obsessed with my vaginal smell….just weird stuff.

A lot of people get online trying to use anonymity as a shield, trolling. Intentionally posting rude things just to hurt people, their family and friends. Then when their nefarious intentions are revealed they play victim as if people defending themselves from them posted their private information out of spite. After these people pieced my family apart causing pain and drama… Even contacting them as well as my friends former partners and coworkers have the nerve to depict ME AS THE VILLIAN. As kind as I’ve tried to be soooo many times to these people. If I was to participate in that same behavior they display or even do something like revealing a trolls true identity they get offended and suddenly claim to be my victim. I just want people to leave me alone. If you don’t like my YouTube videos then don’t watch them. But to torment me everyday making and posting wicked defamatory content out of ignorance just to try to hurt me everyday is unnecessary. Move on.

The things this man posted about me hurt my mother deeply. As well as my teenage daughter and my closest friends. Even my business partners were saddened to see so many lies posted about me and others being cruel. From now on even in silence I will defend myself from these people by any means necessary. I’m tired of this. Leave me alone.

Soncerae VideoTaped Having Sex With Chris Law, Allegedly?!?

I received this email from someone supposedly warning me about a videotape that was created during a swingers party I attended with Chris Law in 2009. I’ve never participated in a sex tape nor have I done pornography. I have never been recorded having sex to my knowledge. That is not something I would ever consider. There were definitely pictures taken of Chris and I at the swingers party. But not of a sexual nature. However there are pictures of Chris Law nude that I’ve seen from that party and of me in lingerie. Seeing me in lingerie is not uncommon. I was a model for many years.

Any footage or images that are now surfacing on social media of this specific night are coming from Chris Law himself. Most of the night Chris was under the influence of alcohol so he barely remembers the night itself. He spent most of the night giving oral sex to several women and interacting with them. Meanwhile I was in a private room with an acquaintance of mine spending most my time with just him. A dozen men watched this acquaintance and I have sex without they themselves participating. I’ve been extremely honest about this experience. Any further conversation about it is boring me. I classify it as unnecessary. Repeating myself over and over is annoying.

This picture above is of Chris Law and his current wife. He clearly has no respect for her or he would discontinue discussing me or even interacting with people who discuss me. But instead of tending to his marriage he is producing images of a night he and I spent together. I am not interested in him and I do not talk to or about him. It’s unfortunate that I have to even bring him up today.

In this email the sender showed concern about threats made towards me. Suggesting I take down receipts posted to this blog that prove I was cyber stalked and harassed by Chris Law, Minister Jap aka Timothy Johnson, Lavonya Edwards aka Bomb Cherry and countless others associated with that social circle. This image below was attached to said email. This image of course is something Chris Law himself would have had to produce, if this is of us at the swingers party.

Everyone knows Chris took me to my first swingers party in 2009 right?

Everyone knows Chris watched me have a threesome. (It was wack. I hated it. Never again! I’ve had better sex with my hand.) It was a threesome he orchestrated. One he begged me for months to have. One of his sexual fantasies was to see me with other men. Yes he is that type of freak. So I tried it for him. Big mistake. It wasn’t until 2016 I spoke about him on YouTube. I warned other women to never do what I did.

Everyone knows Chris was also married at this time.

Chris and I didn’t have sex until after we left the party.

(Let me just say if it wasn’t for my acquaintance showing up, that night would’ve sucked horribly! I appreciate him and the vodka. My first and last wild night! I shouldn’t have been there or trusted Chris. No woman should ever do that.)

Everyone knows Chris introduced me to the owner of Venus Atlanta Swingers Club and that’s how I ended up working there.

This is information Chris and I both admitted to. Why would this picture or any other footage from that night bother me or him? The truth is already out. This is old news. We been talking about this same night for 3 yrs. When are you trolls gonna get some new material. HERE WE GO WITH PEOPLE TRYING TO START DRAMA ALL OVER AGAIN! Nothing else better to do. 😒 Who cares?!?

So for shits and giggles let’s say hypothetically this is me in the photograph right? One man is fully dressed. Looks like we are having fun. Not having sex. Looks like two men hugging on a SINGLE beautiful woman to me.

I did not sign any release forms. So if I’m photographed or videotaped without my consent the photographer or videographer could face severe punishment legally. Especially if it is published showing any of our faces.I didn’t agree to being videotaped or photographed.

I’d pay money for the original image to be emailed to me with the face of the man on the right not scribbled out. Is that Chris? Or is it Chris I’m hugging on? I know exactly who that man is. Let’s see if he’s brave enough to show himself. So far he’s been manipulative and untrustworthy. He clout chases. Let’s see if he’s man enough to show his face. Show your true colors. Tell people who you really are. I haven’t lied about any of this once.

Listen, no one is going to bully me into doing something I don’t want to do. My blogs are staying up because I want them up and they prove that everything I said about these people is true. These trolls have been cruel, dishonest, vitriol and messy. These people have done so much damage to other people’s lives while thinking they are hurting me, it’s laughable. I’ve moved on with my life. I am happy. I love my life and I accept my past. I’m not going to be forced into conformity just to appease internet weirdos being coerced by some webcam pornhoe who’s favorite pastime is shoving water bottles up her ass for perverts online. Bomb Cherry is not disturbing me one bit. I’m not even paying attention. It’s unimportant. I don’t care who’s mad or jealous or whatever. I’m minding my business. I am working. I’m focused. They can post whatever they want about me I am still unbothered. I’m at peace. I’m relaxed. This crap just proves me right about these people not leaving well enough alone. They are exactly who and what I said they were and I stand by every single word posted to this blog. I’m not backing down for nobody. You people might be able to get the spineless cowards online to repeat every negative thing you say about me because they want social acceptance but I am not the one. I’m too smart for that. I do my own thing. I don’t care what these people think they can dig up about me. I have exposed myself already in regards to this topic. I’m done with it. Even without me saying anything to or about these people they will continue to harass me because they want to. Not because I did anything to them.

Let’s reflect….

I’ve never done porn.

I’ve never been a stripper.

I’ve never been a prostitute.

I was a mistress to a married man a decade ago. A married man who can’t let me go. One who is passing around pictures we took a decade ago. A married man who is now on his 2nd or 3rd marriage.

I don’t go back and forth with these people. I do not know these people. They are strangers. I don’t make videos about them. I haven’t even blogged about them harassing me in a while. Just leave me alone. Please stop emailing me drama.

Soncerae’s Teenage Daughter Allegedly Pregnant?!?

Just recently I posted a beautiful picture of my daughter on the community tab of my YouTube channel. It was well received and my subscribers left some amazing comments.

Since this post a narcissistic sociopath, with an alcohol and drug abuse problem, who has been stalking me and my family for over 2 years has done 3 livestreams on YouTube with claims that my daughter is pregnant and that I missed her prom. One of those livestreams was removed by YouTube after being reported. It’s unfortunate that a grown man wants to take the spotlight from a child just to get social acceptance on social media. His attempts at ruining my life used to make me angry. They even hurt me sometimes. I even did self evaluation because of it. Then I realized that the problem wasn’t me, it’s him. Even though I have moved on with my life entirely, he still continues to speak of me as if I have somehow caused him harm.

Youtube is a dangerous place for women of color. Men terrorize African American women on this platform. They mob together to harass women. There are countless videos on YouTube aimed to incite harassment against us. Created by frustrated mentally unstable men who have criminal backgrounds.

Let me reassure everyone that my daughter has amazing parents who instilled in her a set of moralistic values. We have had effective communication with our daughter about domestic violence, sexual assault & molestation as well as teenage pregnancy, single motherhood and casual sex. We have taught her not to judge others for the path they chose for their own lives. We have also taught her the dangers of distributing trust to strangers, the warped mentalities of pedophiles and the power she holds as a young lady. It is disturbing that a man over 30 is concerned with my daughter’s sexuality. One who was obsessed with mine for years has now extended his perversion with including my mom and daughter inside of his desperate attempts to gain adoration from other mentally unstable men online.

In need of material to support his rhetoric on his YouTube channel that is permeated with disdain for single mothers and African American women, he has now spread false information about my daughter. The derogatory content that he posts on YouTube is the product of his own distaste for his mother. In 2016 While planning a collaboration on YouTube about the “90 Day Rule” he shared with me that his mother was promiscuous and was tossed around the neighborhood sexually by men. In this collaboration he encouraged me to have sex on the first night meanwhile I was encouraging women to wait before they have sex with men. Now he misrepresents himself as the man who does not want women to disrespect their bodies sexually.

After discovering that he’d use his channel to disrespect women I broke communication and begin trying to cut ties. Disappointed that we could no longer work together or be romantically tied he has stalked and harassed me on and offline. Now he is maliciously using YouTube to slander my daughter by saying she is pregnant at 18 and was abandoned by me. Speaking to an audience of men that I gave him that also no longer support me after listening to him fabricate our experience with each other. No one knew who he was on YouTube before our collaboration. Abandonment is a sensitive topic to me and my family being as though Minister Jap is part of the cause for why my son’s father Luther “Priest” Washington abandoned me in a motel during my high risk pregnancy.

During my pregnancy Minister Jap placed several phone calls to me encouraging me to leave Priest and that I could have made a better choice in man. One of which took place while Priest was sitting in front of me. He tried to convince me that Priest was “Dirty Dick Rodney”, a term Minister Jap uses during his “sermons” aka belligerent rants on YouTube designed to destroy, misinform, and enable the average low IQ under achieving African American man, who is BORED and seeking entertainment on YouTube. In other words men who grew up without positive male role models in their lives.

Minister Jap also encouraged me to put Priest on child support. After his attempts to destroy a “Black Family” didn’t work with me he proceeded to contact Priest and encourage him to abandon me. Ultimately participating in creating a “single mother”. The very kind of woman he claims he despises. By planting seeds of doubt in Priest’s mind about the paternity of our son as well as using character assassination he manipulated my son’s father into believing I was something I am not. His desire to manipulate has become apparent after the years. As well as social anxiety and mental disorders that he has refused to get treated for.

Priest begin siding with Jap as if I didn’t tell him from the beginning that Jap was stalking and harassing me. It was Jap who told me to put Priest on child support. Then once Priest was on child support it was Jap that convinced Priest to complain about being on child support. Even after Priest ASKED TO BE ON CHILD SUPPORT. Now Minister Jap disrespectfully calls my son a bastard all over his livestreams and videos. My son was only a couple of days old when he posted on my instagram “Fuck your baby.”

I have created countless blogs documenting his constant attempts to destroy my life. Knowing I give my phone number out so that people can text me who need counseling Minister Jap and Chris Law (a former sex partner of mine) teamed together for months texting me pretending they were a female and built a small bond with me over text. This was after the two were photographed together in Atlanta. Minister Jap had flew to Atlanta to meet Chris Law. After Minister Jap found out that Chris Law and I were connected. Minister Jap has reached out to my former partners, old Friends, family members. He has even harassed them. Minister Jap called me dozens of times while in Atlanta and even left demented voicemails telling me to stop refusing to answer his calls. He even called my phone 14 times in 1 day and proceeded to cuss out my partner at the time “Daddio” who answered the phone. I have records of days when he’d call my phone in a drunken rage leaving voicemails. He called me once crying hysterically. He’s sent me unwanted gifts and donations. He has teamed up with several trolls on YouTube and encouraged them to create horrible content, stalking and harassing me as well. Including webcam hoe Bomb Cherry.

Incalculable videos and channels he created to stalk and harass me have been deleted off of YouTube. Including the first livestream he did fabricating the story of my daughter being pregnant. This led Bomb Cherry to also do a livestream about my daughter that YouTube removed. He has continued to encourage people to harass me online as well as cause me bodily harm. He has used Instagram encouraging men to murder me. He has incited hatred and violence against me and my family. I have asked this man over and over to discontinue contacting me however he has still tried to reach out to me via email as well as other social media platforms.

I have constantly contacted the authorities numerous times about this sociopath. He has a warrant for his arrest in 2 counties in San Francisco. All associated with him stalking and harassing me online and off. He and I have never met. We have not met offline. I have not reached out to any of his friends or family. He encourages others to cause me bodily harm online and off.

MY 18 YEAR OLD DAUGHTER IS NOT PREGNANT!!! Thank GOD MY DAUGHTER IS STILL A VIRGIN! HYMEN STILL IN TACT! I made a livestream saying that after the first livestream Jap did lying about her. Since he has made 2 more. He’s trying to provoke me to lash out at him. This is a picture that was taken the same day as her prom photo. She just got her hair and make up done and is about to change into her dress. My daughter clearly does not have a baby bump. Looks like she’s had a few cupcakes and drinks soda….she’s fluffy yes….but pregnant NO.

Just because this man wants to portray me as some sort of hoe out of anger that he didn’t get a chance to have sex with me doesn’t mean the world should join him in his frustration. I am not a hoe, I am not promiscuous. I do not share myself with just any random man walking around. I do not have an STD. I do not have vaginal odor. Never been a swinger, stripper or prostitute. Or any other negative stigma that this man can attach to a woman to harm her. His insults are typical. Even coming after my daughter is typical. I see where this is going.

You can also check my YouTube Story to see video.

If you see any contentt online of Minister Jap talking about me or my family please contact me soncerae@gmail.com We are keeping record of what he is doing to turn it into the authorities. Please be sure to check out the other blogs I have wrote about this man. Please do not spread any more false information about me that comes from this sociopath. He needs to seek out a mental health professional.

All I can do is stand up for myself. That is not the same as being defensive. Anytime I get online and stick up for myself this man plays victim. I know what people are saying about me and I hear the rumors sometimes. They are hard to keep up with. These rumors that people have spread are very mean and painful. I will never be the person to stoop that low to make up lies about people and spread them. None of the rumors that people spread about me are true. People involved in this mess are vicious and cruel. I’ve tried to be civil with him. I said to him in an email once that if you genuinely cared about me as a friend like I know you did you’d simply leave me and my family alone and he refuses.

No matter what he or anyone says of me I know who I am and I am NOT what all of these strangers say about me. I’m not going to waste my time convincing others that either. I’m just going to live my life.

Please understand why people spread rumors.

People spread rumors when their is uncertainty. It’s when we don’t already have a firm grasp on how or why things are happening in the world that rumors start to spread.

Oftentimes uncertainty breeds anxiety—we like to have a clear sense of the world, and we get anxious when we feel uncertainty—and anxiety on its own has been linked to rumor spreading. Some research has shown that more anxious people tend to be the ones who are more likely to spread rumors.

People spread rumors when the person that they are talking about or the information spread about the person they are talking about is important. If I was irrelevant Jap wouldn’t even bother talking about me.

Let’s face it—if you hear a rumor that you think is completely ridiculous, you probably won’t find yourself on a mission to spread that information far and wide. It seems like my daughter being pregnant is believable. Being as though people try to make it seem like women like me (Black Single Mothers) raise horrible daughters. My daughter had two parents. And even if I raised her a lone she’d be a good person because I am a good person. Not the person that Minister Jap walks around saying I am. Remember when narcissistic people can’t control you they try to control how others view you.

Plenty of research has shown that people often want to feel good about themselves, but one way people can do that is through rumor spreading. They also will spread rumors if it helps their social status. Men like Minister Jap want adoration from other men. So he does and says what other men praise him for regardless to whether what he is saying is a lie. We’re not talking about the opinions that people share. Instead, rumors are meant to be informative. Opinions are just observations of TRUTH. Minister Jap does not speak opinion when he speaks of me. He does it on purpose. Unverified information can easily be manipulated. So let me reassure you….let me verify this for you. My daughter is not pregnant. I am amazing woman and mother. And if Jap keeps up this behavior he will be in jail. It’s been 2 years now. He keeps giving me more evidence for the police. A warrant is out for his arrest.

What Sleeping With Married Men Taught Me About Infidelity

As I watched Jordyn Woods speak openly with Jada Pinkett about accusations in regards to her sleeping around with Tristan Thompson I was overwhelmed with compassion, empathy and understanding. She’s a lot more innocent than social media has perceived her as of lately. For a little over a week now the storyline behind Jordyn Woods was that she broke up a happy home that belonged to Khloe Kardashian who is the sister of Jordyn’s bestfriend Kylie Jenner.

Initially Khloe Kardashian’s response to her daughter’s father Tristan Thompson cheating on her with Jordyn (which is ultimately false) was the reason behind her finally deciding to break off her relationship with him. The media (that includes social media) sure does know how to spin shit in their favor. Whatever narrative they want to push they will no matter how false and inaccurate it is. I’ve saw so many false versions of this story it is ridiculous. Even after Tristan cheated on Khloe on a few other occasions one of which was during her pregnancy, Khloe helped the media try to destroy Jordyn’s reputation over a handful of mistakes. They crucified this woman. She did not deserve this. Khloe should have broke up with Tristan long before this story. She shouldn’t have been with him to begin with. Being as though when she met Tristan he was dating JordyC who was then pregnant with his first child. His child with Khloe is his second.

What impressed me during Jordyn’s interview with Jada Pinkett on her show Red Table Talk, that aired on FacebookTV, was how Jordyn took accountability for making poor choices. One by attending Tristan’s after party to begin with. It led me to look at my own situation that I’ve spoken about a few times on my YouTube Channel. Taking accountability for a poor choice is the secondary reason for why I share 20% of my life on YouTube. The main reason I do so is because I want to help others make better choices. Jordyn speaking the absolute truth during this interview is the beginning process to her own personal healing as well as Khloe’s. Khloé Kardashian has had a change of heart after previously slamming Jordyn Woods and claiming the model was responsible for breaking up her family with Tristan Thompson.

Society has the proclivity to blame women when men behave in ways that are cruel and insensitive. As if men somehow become half witted when sexuality comes in to play. The truth is that men know exactly what they are doing. They are not confused at all. But as women we need to take accountability in regards to our own choices. If we behave as men or even close to how they do we are demonized. I was sure to send that to Khloe Kardashian myself on Instagram. I needed her to understand that Tristan Thompson had been cheating the entire time and that she was taking her frustrations out on Jordyn instead of him. When the truth is the entire situation is the fault of Khloe’s herself for continuing to make poor choices in men. Tristan showed Khloe Kardashian who he was the moment he chose to date her while he was in a relationship with another woman while she was pregnant. Then he confirmed it when he was caught cheating two other times with video footage to prove it.

It was easy to say this to Khloe Kardashian because I myself had made poor choices in men. We have all made mistakes. Even Khloe herself has been the woman who stole someone else’s man. Even I have been a mistress in my youth. Let me just say that I do NOT believe that mistresses are homewreckers. I believe that insecure husbands wreck their own homes. Not to praise the side chick, but side chicks are usually SINGLE. They have NO ONE to answer to. Being honest about participating in affairs was easy. The initial response I received from others was of non judgment. Most people realize that mistakes can be made. We are human. Taking the holier than thou route is unusual for some. We remain in a place of acceptance and love. Then there are folk who refuse to look in the mirror at their own flaws and shortcomings and project an elevated level of judgement upon someone else. By expressing their disapproval of someone else’s behavior in a way that is so insensitive vile and disturbing. As if that prognosis is fitting to someone as hypocritical as they are.

I look at the stories of others who have talked about their own lives publicly and a lot of women refuse to be honest about their situations with men. My email inbox lit up with stories from women who were in extramarital affairs, when people found out my son’s father, Priest, was separated. Which was something he revealed to the public after telling me to not discuss it publicly. Most of the women who emailed me were genuinely confused. Some were so nice and understanding and really had hopes that their lover would leave his wife. I’ve never been that type of women, full of hope. Nowadays husband’s are leaving their wives for other women without hesitation. So it’s no longer outlandish to believe a man will never leave his wife. Especially if his behavior is as inappropriate as participating in an affair. Even when I was playing side chick to a man named Chris, he knew where I stood and I was happy in my position. I was heartbroken over my ex, Lloyd. I wanted nothing from Chris outside of what we were doing and I never pressured him for more. I was in no position to be in a committed relationship and all I needed was a transitional man to help me move past my broken engagement to Lloyd.

In 2010, I realized while seeing Chris during his engagement, that he was with me during that time because he wanted to. He wanted to lie to his wife. It had nothing to do with me. She was always out of town and according to him he had every reason not to trust her. It wasn’t even my business. I tried to stay out of it. Their issues were plaguing their relationship long before he met me and were even worse after they were married. In some ways I think Chris was using me as an escape from a marriage he never wanted to be in. Our temporary arrangement served it’s purpose and he and I both were in stages in our lives where we both needed what we were giving each other. We were both heartbroken.

In 2017, when I met my son’s father Priest I wasn’t even expecting him to be who he is to me now. I knew he’d be in my life forever. I usually continue to stay friends with men I’ve dated previously. Now in 2019 my son’s father and I do NOT talk and I will never be his friend. It wasn’t because of his broken promise of promoting me from mistress to wife. I was never his mistress. I was always his wife. I’m still his wife. Marriage to me is a promise I make to myself, my husband and God. It’s hard to break that promise and it took a long time for that soultie to break. I still struggle with it everyday. Even though we’ve been broken up since I was 5 months pregnant. My son is 9 months as I write this entry. Priest has never met our son and he most likely never will. I’m dating but I am still loyal to him. It will take time for me to fully feel comfortable with another man. What’s painful to me is that Priest perpetuated a stereotype for self gratification. Just so people wouldn’t hold him accountable for abandoning me during my pregnancy. He made it seem to the public that I was his bitter mistress. A woman who was trying to break up the home of a happy devoted husband. A husband with an amazing wife that he treated like a Queen. When the truth is he was a broken man who had been separated from his wife for years. Their marriage was terrible and riddled with dishonesty, betrayal, physical altercations and infidelity. Her and I interacted with each other and she confirmed their separation and approved of our spiritual bond. Priest & I were building a family, business and a happy life together. In no way at any time did I have to try to convince him to do so. Their marriage was over. She was in love with another man and he was with me. He and I went to his family functions together. We prayed, we meditated, we planned, we shared, we started a business, we lived together, we laughed together, we worked out together, we cried together. Our relationship was REAL. But only REAL to ME….it was a game to him. Without him realizing the consequences.

When I think back at all of the things I put up with it angers me that he treated someone as bad as he treated me. He was judgemental as if he had room to do so. I was someone who accepted him for him. When he told me he didn’t have his GED, I didn’t judge him. When he told me that he lied about Sadonya and their failed marriage I tried to understand him wanting to keep their friendship. When he told me he went to the Dominican Republic the year before and had experienced problems with his penis after he had indulged in prostitution, I had patience. When I found out he barely made a decent living, didn’t own his car or home, had weird phobias and grooming rituals I didn’t pass judgment. Most women would have left him behind his erectile dysfunction and premature ejaculation alone. I foolishly stayed. Through his personal issues in regards to oral hygiene and Gurd I held on all the way in love. Accepting all of him. He loved Tarot Readings and conspiracy theories, I smiled at his awkwardness. He also had a weird sexual fascination with midgets. I admit that knowing he had been with prostitutes it scared me. I was worried about my own health. I encouraged us to use condoms and get testing. Later on I had to tell him that the cold sores he’d get on his mouth was because of Herpes, he had no idea. I got REALLY scared. Instead I still held on and tried to clean up his act.

I think what was big of me was me accepting Sadonya. They had been together for 14 long years. She is 10 years his senior and he was her second husband. She had children from her previous marriage. I initially didn’t want her around at all. With time I simply respected that they had built a friendship and that she’d be around. I didn’t think she would cause problems, she seemed kind. But her true colors showed themselves with time just like his. They begin to vilify me as if I was the problem behind why their marriage was such a disgrace. He was so upset that I told the public the truth about our break up, claiming I told too much of my business. Yet, he had been telling Sadonya our personal business our entire relationship. He led me to believe they stopped communicating briefly during our relationship when the truth is they never did. It was her who ended up revealing that to me after my son was born.

As if I came to them and convinced them to both step outside of their marriage and fall in love with other people. They both played with my life like I didn’t matter at all. Had Sadonya kept her distance from our situation then it would have been easy for me not to blame her for the demise of my relationship and friendship with Priest. Had she not lied for him and acted as if he didn’t abandon me in a hotel pregnant. When in reality I was calling her looking for him after he blocked my number and everytime she’d find him. Had she stayed away from what we were trying to build he wouldn’t have been so confused when it came time for him to be a father to our son. He was initially leading me to believe that he was happy he was becoming a father. Them two never had any children together. I believe as a man it was Priest’s job to protect both her and I. As our friend. If he still had feelings for her he should have stayed away from me. If he had feelings for me he should’ve stayed away from her. Instead he hurt us both. I was livid with her. Even to this day I can’t stand her. Not because he claimed to still love her and it was our reason for breaking up. But because she encouraged him and then lied publicly about our experience. She defended him publicly but secretly came to me singing another tune. Now they are still NOT together but led the public to believe they were. They didn’t just lie to me they had been lying to their own families for years about the nature of their relationship. Their entire marriage was a sham. They led people to believe it was perfect. Instead of simply leaving the marriage and bettering themselves for a better partner. They simply put up with each other just so they could both live the facade of a perfect marriage for their family and friends.

These two tried to tarnish my image. I am honest with everyone even when I speak of my flaws. I do not hide who I am and I don’t care what people think. They are in no position to judge me. I can understand a couple wanting to work out their relationship or marriage. That makes sense but don’t lead people on as if you love and care for them when you don’t. Everyone is doing the best that they can with what they know so I am trying to understand that and forgive. But for 2 people to hurt me the way they did without any remorse but point the finger at me like I’m the homewrecker is hard to forgive. Now people go around spreading the lies they told. My reputation is now dripping with disdain with talks of stealing someone’s husband and getting pregnant. I never lied about my situation with this couple. I never wanted to. Being ridiculed over this hurt initially. Especially during my pregnancy. Then I realized that most of the broken people going out of their way to try to hurt me have done worse things with their lives. I’m not the first woman to plan a future with someone headed for divorce and I won’t be the last.

Married men aren’t using women for sex when they cheat. Married men are using women to help them get through emotional pain connected to their broken marriage. Some marriages can be healed some can’t. Chris and Priest’s marriages didn’t make it. The problems of their marriages were so severe it couldn’t be fixed. Either way they both misused me and will not admit it. Even Chris participated in trying to ruin my reputation. Some married men even want their wives to find out about their affairs so they can have a reason to leave a broken marriage. Some married men are confused about what they want. Some don’t know themselves well enough to make a conscious decision.

Here’s what I’ve learned from Chris and Priest. If you are a mistress wondering where your situation with a married man is going to go don’t wonder any further. When you fulfill the extreme sexual fantasies of any man during a time in his life where he is at his lowest and using sex to fix it he will call you a hoe for doing so. Whether he leaves his wife or not do you really want a man who would consider hurting a woman in any way? He’ll find a way to hurt you. He’ll lie and cheat on you too. That’s why I never fully gave my heart to Chris. When a man is genuinely separated from a woman and you know he’ll be getting a divorce don’t be with him until he is completely out of his marriage. Even then it could. Be a risk. It takes time to completely heal from a marriage. Priest admitted that he was with me while he still had feelings for Sadonya he just wasn’t man enough to tell me he still wanted to be with her until after it was too late. Priest and Sadonya never got back together. He didn’t leave me for her or her for me. He just used their marriage as a tool to run from the responsibilities associated with being a good man and father. I required more from him than Sadonya. My standards and expectations are higher. I wouldn’t even bother with divorced men. Even if he doesn’t want that marriage he’ll still try to use it as a crutch when or if he wants to no longer be in a relationship with you or as an excuse to why he behaves in a way that is inappropriate.

Men are not held responsible for their mistakes and poor choices. The world can be weak and blame me for Chris and Priest’s mistreatment of me and the other women who loved them but I will now and forever hold them accountable. The women they loved hurt them so they in turn hurt me. I am the one person who did not judge or hurt either of them. The vicious cycle of hurt people hurting people will continue as long as people are not held accountable. We all need to find healthy ways to heal from heartbreak.