Category Archives: YouTube Drama

Misogyny & Sexism on YouTube

Recently, I saw that Tommy Sotomayor and Minister Jap met up in Chicago. This happened days after Minister Jap took to YouTube claiming he was going to quit posting content. He was frustrated because his videos were being reported. Instead of quitting YouTube it would simply just make more sense to stop breaking YouTube’s community guidelines giving them reason to remove content. Or start a podcast elsewhere.

Youtube’s community guidelines are clear:

Don’t post videos that encourage others to do things that might cause them to get badly hurt. One of these men or both do that EVERYDAY. The men in their audience are taking this advice and screwing up their own lives. Abusing their women ending up in all kinds of domestic violent situations or worse IN JAIL.

YouTube is not for pornography or sexually explicit content. If this describes your video, even if it’s a video of yourself, don’t post it on YouTube. Jap’s always talking about hoes and fucking. Tommy is now supposedly streaming porn from his site….who knows if that’s true. Not my business. Tommy has talked about his sex life explicitly but so have I. Moving on.

YouTube doesn’t support content that promotes or condones violence against individuals or groups based on race or ethnic origin, religion, disability, gender, age, nationality, veteran status, or sexual orientation/gender identity, or whose primary purpose is inciting hatred on the basis of these core characteristics. Promoting and condoning violence on a specific gender and race of person is the basis of Tommy & Jap’s content.

It’s not ok to post abusive videos and comments on YouTube. If harassment crosses the line into a malicious attack it can be reported and may be removed. They both do this all day everyday.

Things like predatory behavior, stalking, threats, harassment, intimidation, invading privacy, revealing other people’s personal information, and inciting others to commit violent acts or to violate the Terms of Use. They have both done this, consistently. Sometimes to defend themselves but most times to be malicious.

Seeing them two meet ultimately made me react in a neutral kind of way. I believe it’s because I tend to mind my business. One thing I can say is that it didn’t surprise me. What they both represent is a disdain for women. Especially Black Women who do not conform to the traditional gender roles expected of them. So let’s say…..Soncerae. They have disdain for Soncerae. They have showed that for many years. Nothing wrong with opinions or objectification but to sprinkle disrespect, harassment and stalking on it gives a rhetoric an entirely different flavor. It’s funny how men on YouTube actually promote it as #UNITY. Like them 2 unifying is some type of remarkable historic event that should be wrote down as the equivalent to the civil rights movement. Listen, get these men to unify with WOMEN. Especially Black ones. Then I’ll be impressed. Men teaming up with other men is what usually happens. Getting injured Black Men to heal and garner healthy relationships with Black Women is the problem. To see both of these men settle down in a healthy marriage with a Black Woman would make me clutch my pearls.

During my first conversation with Minister Jap about collaborating almost 4 years ago he told me about how much of a Tommy Sotomayor fanatic he was. He loved Tommy Sotomayor. His dream was to meet Tommy. I said to him then,

“If you are trying to get Tommy’s attention all you have to do is beef with me. Tommy hates me for some reason.”

THOSE WERE MY EXACT WORDS. From then on Jap has had some imaginary problem with me. Before I interacted with either of them they used social media as a place to disrespect women and to rant about their issues pertaining to us. Instead of just praising the kind of women they enjoy and love. Both of these men had people believing that it was ME that did something to them to make them behave in such a way when really they were attacking women online long before either of them knew who I was.

Male dominance on YouTube produces a lot of hostile commentary targeted towards women. If a woman is honest about her sexually, thinks independently, supports feminism or womanism she is brutally chastised by Black Men. The double standards among women and men on #BlackYouTube are prominent. The mob mentality is supported. Gossip, rumors, debates, disrespect are all used as bonding tools for our audiences. A demented brotherhood designed to dismantle women is celebrated. I believe that most women who support feminism or female empowerment are only interested in positively encouraging women to evolve not to belittle men. However, the message among these men isn’t to empower each other but it is more about the degradation & abuse aimed at women of color. This “brotherhood” is ran by men like Tommy Sotomayor & Minister Jap. Men who have tumultuous relationships with their negligent mothers. Men who also have a history of disrespecting women they are romantically connected to. Whether it be a sister, aunt, cousin or friend at some point these men were treated poorly by a dominant female. Any woman who may share an insufficient similarity to (their poor choices in) women they begin attacking that woman’s entire existence.

Armed with immaturity, poor communication, sadism/sadomasicism, underdeveloped thought processes, lack of critical thinking skill, and PTSD they spread a narrative that women are the catalyst for all problems associated with the dysfunction of the Black Community. Instead of dealing with the trauma associated with the negative experiences brought on by women they may have trusted in their lives, they rather project hatred to any or all women. Instead of considering that how they have responded to women in their past may be cause for the negative outcome, both of these men have spent years on in projecting their hatred for women on women, ME specifically. I became a target for them both for various reasons. Instead of becoming better men themselves they try to bully or “tough love” a woman into changing. What a destructive way to take lead. Instead of building up women they try to break us down. Let Black women form an alliance similar to theirs they’d be ready to protest, stop female unity and create hashtags promoting justice for men. Let a woman behave in any way they do…they wouldn’t stop bitching and moaning.

Instead of being able to form healthy bonds with women they take pride in having solid bonds with other men. Which to me is a tinge of homosexual. However, still an acceptable preference. These men do not understand that just because you love one thing doesn’t mean that you have to hate another. I love ketchup on my french fries. That doesn’t mean I’ve relentlessly put together a smear campaign to destroy mustard and I will execute that plan until mustard is no longer being used on anyone’s sandwich. These men however have reached out to the fatherless, leaderless, lost and injured and recruited them to perpetuate this war on Black Women.

While displaying the following traits

  1. He will zero in on specific woman and choose her as his target.
  2. As time goes on, he begins to reveal a Jekyll & Hyde personality. He may change quickly from irresistible to rude, and from rude back to irresistible.
  3. He will make promises to women and often fail to keep them. With men, on the other hand, he will almost always keep his word.
  4. His behavior toward women in general is grandiose, cocky, controlling, and self-centered.
  5. He is extremely competitive, especially with women. If a woman does better than him socially or professionally, he feels terrible. If a man does better, he may have mixed feelings about it but he is able to look at the situation objectively.
  6. He will unknowingly treat women differently from men in workplace and social settings, allowing men various liberties for which he will criticize female colleagues or friends.
  7. He will be prepared (unconsciously) to use anything within his power to make women feel miserable. He may demand sex or withhold sex in his relationships, make jokes about women or put them down in public, “borrow” their ideas in professional contexts without giving them credit, or borrow money from them without paying them back. Chastise women for their sexuality whether they’ve slept with 1 man or 10 men. It doesn’t matter.
  8. Sexually, he likes to control women and gives little or no attention to their sexual pleasure. Foreplay, if it occurs at all, is only a necessary means to an end. He likes oral sex but only as a recipient. His favorite positions enable him to avoid looking the woman in her eyes.
  9. He will cheat on women he is dating or in a relationship with. Monogamy is the last thing he feels he owes a woman.

These types of men love to put women down only to make them feel good about themselves. To see these two men unify but can’t seem to smooth out any drama that they are the catalyst for with ANY woman says a lot about where they stand mentally. Men who all act tough, with false bravado, are always the ones that get knocked the fuck out with ease.

There are a lot of men who are looking for leaders, father figures, big brothers, uncles, and mentors. Men turn to men like these to teach them how to become alpha. The toxic masculinity displayed by both of these men is perceived as positive and indicative to the evolution of Manhood. Which is ultimately unfortunate.

I have never done anything to either of these men for them to have spoken so disrespectfully about me hundreds of times in public forums while encouraging men to also be as disrespectful towards me. They even lied and told people I was stalking them and wouldn’t leave them alone. After initiating conflict EVERYTIME. They told vicious lies about me & put a magnifying glass on my videos and what I’m saying as if it was about THEM. I made more content geared towards other topics that they conveniently overlooked. Tommy was heated when I interviewed his ex on my channel like he hadn’t interviewed Chris Law. I made her promise not to say anything disrespectful or hurtful. And she agreed and kept her word. But did Tommy do that for me? No. He had Chris Law all over his channel claiming he was my ex and talking about our sex life. Chris was so dumb disrespecting me and his marriage.

I no longer expect abusive men to hold punches, feel compassion or sympathy for women. They have verbally attacked me so much that it doesn’t even bother me anymore. Minister Jap & Tommy Sotomayor have caused thousands of strange men to maliciously speak about me online. This has caused men to stalk and harass me in real life. These men have barked on me like I am a man. Men I have never met. They want to square up on a woman. Ofcourse I have expressed my opinion about these men. But why in response were they so defensive.

When we are defensive it is a sign of weakness; it shows we are not secure enough in ourselves to accept criticism or differences of opinions.

Encouraging men to be vitriol online is causing them to disconnect from women offline as well as abuse us. Egregiously sexist behavior is fostered by the “online disinhibition effect.” This effect includes the phenomenon where Internet users, operating under the protection of anonymity, may perform behaviors they ordinarily would not in either face-to-face scenarios or in virtual spaces where they are identifiable. Studies have shown links between anonymity and higher levels of online aggression and incivility. This creates an unconscious behavior that ultimately effects romantic relationships negatively in real life settings with women. Creating more of a problem that ultimately a man was attempting to solve by going to social media looking for resolutions.

There are plenty of men out there who are easily influenced. I didn’t realize I was dating one until Minister Jap got a mental hold on my son’s father.

When his words during our arguments started to sound like they were coming out of Jap’s mouth verbatim I knew Jap was talking to him. My son’s father was speaking to me in ways he had never spoke to me before. Calling me names he had never called me before. Yelling at me how Jap had online in the past. A month or so before his behavior changed drastically, Jap called me begging me to break up with my son’s father. I refused. What’s funny is Jap had this whole women empowerment speech. Like I had the vagina of wonder woman. He kept calling my son’s father “Dirty Dick Rodney.” He couldn’t persuade me so he went to my son’s father and the rest is history. Now Minister Jap can push the whole “single mom drag”. That’s all he seems to be good at. The rhetoric coming from Tommy & Japs mouth was she’s a side chick pregnant by a married man. My son’s father wasn’t married then and definitely isn’t now.

My son’s father is impressionable. He follows anyone and anybody. He doesn’t have a GED or College Education. I used to have to read to him and he doesn’t know basic math. Ofcourse he was an easy target. Most of the men in Minister Jap & Tommy’s audience are. Most men who are college educated and had a good male role model in their lives disagree with the narratives of these men. It’s ok to be impressionable if your attention is on a good influence. My son’s father was always looking for approval. He’d lie to get it because he wanted people to love him. He is an example of a man who does not know how to decipher the difference between a good influence and a bad one. His only goal was social acceptance.

These type of men on YouTube don’t want to coexist on YouTube or any other place with women. Like YouTube personally belongs to them. They have literally tried to run off every single woman with a voice on the site. They tried their hardest to run me off. It didn’t work. I’m still here. Still vocal. No matter how many names they call me. No matter how many times they attack me or try to put me down. No matter how many lies they tell or rumors they spread I’ll still express my opinions and stand up for whatever it is I believe in on whatever social media site I want to.

I have no personal vendettas against either of these men. I have moved on with my life. I am happy and very much living the life I wanted to live. I could have 1 subscriber on youtube or several hundred, it won’t matter at the end of the day. What these men choose does not make or break me. I do not digest what they eat. It’s not my business. If men are ok with allowing these type of men to lead them… fine. Just like it’s women out there who believe “Hot Girl Summer” is a women’s empowerment anthem. Whether I agree or disagree, I’m not going to spend the rest of the days of my life debating with abusive men. I just accept that they are abusive and stay away from them. Hope fully women will hear my stories and the stories of plenty others and stay away from men like this. And maybe injured men who are in need of guidance will find a better place to receive love and adoration. Instead of relying on the poisonous sources on social media. I wish both of these men the best. Finally, Jap’s dream came true. To meet Tommy Sotomayor.

They Won’t Ever Love Me, Everybody Hates & They Always Have

Why do people invest so much energy into hate? Why does something so negative bring such delight in some? Also, why does it take anonymity for people to express their hatred? To spend hours on end being irresponsible and refusing to take accountability for what you say online is so entertaining to some folks it shocks me. Especially in my own community of color. It’s always a battle of the wits but in a disturbing way. Who can throw the best insult wins, seemingly. What’s the prize? To be able to say you hurt someone, or that you made someone feel bad about themselves? Or when the lies you tell when spreading rumors break up friendships, relationships and even family, is that the prize? Why does that feel so good?

I don’t think there has ever been a day in my life where I wasn’t being spoken about behind my back. I learned early on that even people I loved would hurt me with opinionated words.

The first time I heard someone talk badly about me behind my back was during an argument my mother and stepfather were having. They were broken up and he hadnt seen me in a while. We went to visit him. I went to my old room to gather some things and I heard them downstairs arguing. He was telling her how different I was. He didnt like that my mother wasn’t as hard on me as he used to be. He was abusive both sexually and physically and obsessive compulsive. He was the disciplinarian. He no longer had control over me and I believed that that bothered him more than anything.

I started to cry. It hurt. Just to hear someone speak so badly about me to my own mother. I ended up catching three more people in my family do that. My grandmother, my aunt and my cousin whom people considered my sister. It wasn’t until later that it occured to me that people just weren’t going to like me.

In High School there were always rumors spread about me. I was an independent thinker. I did what I wanted to do. I wasn’t trying to fit in or be admired. I just wanted to escape all of the bad experiences that were consistenly happening to me at home and at school. I didn’t drink. I didn’t do drugs. I didn’t steal. But I skipped school. I avoided conflict. I stayed to myself mostly. I wasn’t a girly girl. I was a tomboy, so my closest friend was always a boy. I took comfort in that closeness. Those platonic friendships were real and pure. The people that spreaded rumors about me the most were my cousin and two female friends I had my entire time in high school.

I started getting played by boys early. My first kiss was in middle school with a boy who bet his friends that I was crushin on him so hard that I’d let him kiss me. And I did. During my late teens I really didn’t care about boys. I wasn’t thinking about who my prom date would be or whether or not I’d get married. All I cared about was church and singing. If I ran into a boy I liked I’d encourage him to stick with me but if he didn’t I’d let it go.

It wasn’t until I met my daughter’s father that I wanted marriage. We had our daughter when I was 19. We were a lot more prepared for the unexpected new arrival because of a mutual respect and understanding for each other. He didn’t want to be in a relationship or married but we were still amazing co parents and are still friends.

Then my son’s father came after 3 broken arrangements and all kinds of abuse and poor relationship decisions. After being cheated on so much and a short period of me being a side chick in 2010 I decided I no longer wanted to do committed relationships. I was just going to try polyamory. Then 2018 came and I figured I’d try it one more time. I fell in love hard and fast. I put a lot of trust and understanding in a man that didn’t deserve it.

Our relationship was fun and loving when we weren’t arguing over his ex wife. Them two refused to discontinue being friends and I tried to cope with it. Besides after 14 years of marriage I wanted to respect whatever they salvaged after so much wasted time in an unhappy marriage. Then my son was conceived and the love of my life decided to change faces. He took his mask off. What a hideous sight to see….

I was 4 months pregnant we live together in an extended stay hotel. I slept in the back of his truck with him in the Walmart parking lot. We are looking for places to live. He left me alone twice for about a day or so. Came back….then wanted to leave again. He’s asking for space? I relax….give it to him this time. He leaves for a week. Doesn’t call the entire time. Then comes back on his own. Ends up leaving another time needing space. I let him leave again. He came back on his own. Suddenly he started talking about other women he wanted to sleep with and his ex. I was too busy thinking about building a stable home for our new arrival. I guess he assumed that I’d do the revolving door thing that his last life partner would allow but he was sadly mistaken. He left one morning called from work and told me that he didnt want our relationship or baby and he wanted to date his ex. This was on some “I just want to tell you how I feel” anecdote of his. So I took him literally and told him he could go. He didnt fight for his position in my life like I fought for our family. He wanted to leave.

He got mad when I told everyone he left. He found any enemy of mine he could find that would listen and tried to convince them I was the worse person in the world. After all of the kindness, love, pampering and catering I did. After the understanding and patience I displayed in our relationship he was telling people I was a side chick hoe that he didnt care about and our baby wasn’t his.

That made me feel an array of emotions that I sometimes wish I didn’t even bother entertaining. A lot of gossip and rumors started. A group of people formed an alliance. Their mission all day everyday was to tear me down. It was traitorous what he did but some people didn’t see it that way. Especially not those group of people. Not because what he did wasn’t bad but because they had disdain for me. I never understand the statement “If you hate me, you must hate yourself” until this time period of my life. People who had nothing but time to drap me down brought something valuable to my attention. The fact was….they had nothing. No talent. No soul. Not even a healthy heart. All they know is negativity. The only time they even felt relevant is when they spoke derogatory about me. I learned a great deal about hate. They don’t love me because they don’t love themselves. There is no bond stronger than two people that hate the same person. Often unable to build healthy friendships toxic people use gossip and hatred as a bonding tool.

You ever disliked some one? I have. I was absolutely certain I hated my son’s father. Then I realized there was no way I could possibly hate him because I have so much love for myself. I only used the term hate to describe how I feel because what I feel is negative but not something I can give an appropriate title to. I loved him so much so what I feel now after the betrayal is something I can only describe as a form of hate. But I can only describe it that way out of lack of better terminology. To go out of your way and waste your own time talking about someone you hate is insane. However we see people do it so often on social media that is has become the norm.

Why do we hate? And why, in particular, do we hate difference? Hate of a whole race of people; hate of a whole set of people of certain sexual orientations or gender identities; that kind of hate is projection. I’m insecure in myself, in my identification with my culture, in my sexual orientation, in my gender—so I project hatred onto you because I’m not real sure that if I don’t, I won’t hate myself.

So, here’s the thing about hate of difference: It says everything about the hater, and nothing about the hated.

Projection means that I’ve got some work to do on myself to become a whole person. Projection means that I’ve split myself off into compartments of consciousness and unconsciousness, so that I don’t know things that I don’t want to know about myself—and I project those things onto others for them to carry for me. Projection means that I need to become conscious of those things I’m repressing so that I can own them, and begin to cherish them as unique and meaningful aspects of a whole me.

Accountability….in the end it boiled down to people hate to self reflect or evaluate. They don’t enjoy taking accountability. That’s all hate is. Of course I don’t expect every to just be in love with me. But what I do realize about people who spend majority of their time criticizing me I’m giving them opportunity to let themselves off the hook. I am their distraction from their own internal issues. Instead of consistently fighting them.. I have sympathy for them and now I just don’t respond.

Now that I have a better understanding of people I don’t criticize their hatred towards me. All of the males who played me circle back later and apologized. It’s not people don’t love me it’s that some people have a hard time loving themselves. One problem….they see me love myself unconditionally and they envy that.

People who love themselves hate hating others. We hate not loving people. We hate drama, gossip and negativity. All we want to do is love. So many people do love me. Even if they didn’t I’d still be surrounded by love. I love myself.

Sis, This Is Why Your “Baby Daddy” Is Avoiding You

The way that Black Men continue to justify them abandoning their children paralyzes our community entirely. The “Single Mother” is always the one that is blamed when these men walk away from their children only out of convenience for them. When my son’s father contacted me (from work) , during my 5th month of pregnancy, to tell me he wanted to get back with his ex and that he didn’t want our baby the public pressured me to still give this man endless opportunities to be inside of our son’s life. Forget the fact that this man publicly humiliated me and left me to die in a cheap nasty stinky roach infested hotel BROKE and SICK during a high risk pregnancy. Forget that us going to an extended stay hotel was his idea. It was his fault we hadn’t moved into an apartment yet. Those #facts amongst plenty more are evidence that this man’s character is questionable in general. But fuck that, Let’s just convince Soncerae that she needs to make sure this toxic man continues to have access to her and her son. As if abuse and negligence can’t be passed down to another generation. I’m sure he picked it up from somewhere.

Earlier today I was doing a livestream for single mothers. Attempting to explain to them why the fathers of their children were avoiding them. (CLICK PICTURE ABOVE) During this livestream a few people came into my LIVECHAT reminding me of the false narrative regarding my son’s father. It was a comment I saw on another video that also made me realize that the story behind why my son and his father haven’t met is the typical story men assign to EVERY situation. Just soo they can justify a man not physically being there for his child. I’m assuming it’s a part of the boy code to justify a man abandoning his own child. It’s just automatically the mother’s fault. The one that didn’t get an abortion. The one that didn’t put her child up for adoption. Yep, she’s the reason that man left and shouldn’t be held accountable. Here are the typical excuses people give men who are absentee fathers. These are the reasons people give me for why my son’s father decided to not be in our son’s life.

Excuse #1 – YOU PUT HIM ON CHILD SUPPORT

I’ve always hated the concept of child support. I thought it was cop out for men. It is not a substitution for being a father. IDK why men think tossing chump change to the mother of their child monthly is like some remarkable act of kindness and that we should be jumping for pure joy every time we see it. The average hard working everyday man is barely making any real man money to begin with. IDK why these men think Single Mothers are so pressed for $2. Most single mothers don’t even bother filing for child support to begin with.

My son’s father asked to be on child support. It was his idea for me to file. He brought it up during my pregnancy and insisted that he’d pay it. I only wanted DNA testing. That’s what made me file. He publicly humiliated me by telling people that I was trying to pin a baby on him that wasn’t his. I proved myself.

We spoke about getting DNA testing outside of court but we could not agree on the way to handle it. Filing for child support eliminated a lot of unnecessary drama. He didn’t want to deal with me. I didn’t want to deal with him. After he was on it he tried to get me to take him off it implying that if I didn’t do so he was going to make things more complicated for us. When actually it organized things. I didn’t take the threat of him purposely ruining my life, any further, serious. His pay is now garnished. His child support goes into my son’s trust fund “Happyness Seeds”.

Child support is not a substitution for FATHERHOOD. So to say me filing child support STOPPED him from being a father is nonsense. Men don’t want to be on it because it forces them to be responsible. They use a woman filing as way to justify why they behave immaturely. As if her behavior is the catalyst for why he’s choosing to distance himself from his own children. And none of you see how much sense that doesn’t make?

Excuse #2 – YOU TRAPPED HIM WITH PREGNANCY

So you mean to tell me that these grown ass men just trip over an extension cord and fall into this well designed coochie trap or twisted web of lies and deceit that somehow magically gets their sperm suctioned from their bodies while they frantically fight for their lives? Stop it ya’ll, seriously. No one with functioning brain activity is buying that brand of bullshit. Like women are walking around here trying to trap BROKE ass men. Most men are working class. Women consider having babies with you because they care for you. Not to trap you for the money you DO NOT have. This is still not reason enough to abandon a child. YOUR child.

I have a 19 year old daughter. I spent years after she was born trying to have another. I’ve had all kinds of miscarriages and unwanted medical abortions. The fact that I even ended up pregnant by this guy to begin with is an act of God. A damn unsolved mystery. Our son is the 9th wonder of the world. I’ve tried to purposely have a baby by better men with education and wealth and it didn’t happen for me. Men that actually wanted me to get pregnant. Why would I trap this guy?!? The man with no GED or decent income?!??!

Excuse #3 – HE’S MARRIED

He wasn’t married when he was banging his mistress now was he? Why be married now!??! For the record there wasn’t a damn thing about my son’s father that was married. His own faux wife wasn’t even married. When I met Priest, SaDonya was somewhere being some other man’s side chick. The Bitch was having a HOT GIRL SUMMER. She also had the balls to bring this involved man to her own apartment to meet Priest. Even encouraged Priest to have us all sit down together for dinner. What’s kind of sick and twisted “marriage” is that?! Neither one of those boneheads fooled me. They definitely threw ya’ll for a loop though. Yes, the gruesome twosome are officially and legally divorced NOW. When I was pregnant both of them, SEPARATED, tried to convince me that their arrangement based on convenient cohabitation was nothing more than a graveyard for a failed marriage. OH noooo we just friends they said….It was only during YouTube interviews that they pretended like they were this solid union and I was on this steadfast demolition project trying to take vengeance on their delicate soul tie. Priest was SaDonya’s 2nd failed marriage. When he made it seem like he left me to circle back to her ya’ll fell for that foolishness like their marriage wasn’t a landfill before I refreshed his life. What does this have to do with our son? I’ll tell you! ABSOLUTELY NOTHING! Father and Husband are 2 different roles regardless to who the kids or wife are or belong to! He should take responsibility for any and all children! Justice is his first born. He and SaDonya DO NOT have kids together. They were together 15 years NO KIDS! He was with me 6 months, we have a whole son! His bitch ass wasn’t married then and his bitch ass ain’t married now.

I was never Priest’s mistress. I never will be.

He was with plenty of women during their marriage. He was with other women YEARS before I came into the picture according to him. I didn’t find out until after we were in a relationship that he slept with plenty of women WITHOUT protection. Even prostitutes. So spare me with the THIS MAN IS MARRIED SO HE CAN’T TAKE CARE OF HIS KIDS BULLSHIT! There is more to marriage than a legal document obligating you to stick to someone. Your behavior must run parallel to your commitment. If you stand in a garage that doesn’t suddenly make you a Cadillac. Them two lied to me about them divorced papers being signed. Out of jealousy it was her trying to convince him our baby wasn’t his. It was her in my ear pretending she wanted to help he and I. Both of them about that drama.

Excuse #4 – IT WAS A ONE NIGHT STAND/FLING

Any woman who has had a one night stand or fling and ended up pregnant knows that the father is probably only interested in the next fling. A player rarely turns into a parent. Move on and make way for a better relationship and someone who can truly love you and your child. However, there are still men out there who are PLAYERS yet are STILL FATHERS. I know a couple of men like that in Atlanta. They have countless baby mommas but they take care of their kids though. So that is not a good excuse. Shawty Lo had a whole show about his baby mommas. Some of the mothers were bustdowns and some were relationships. He still took care of his kids.

My son’s father and I were not a one night stand. Our sex was terrible. We’ve made love maybe twice. All of the other times we had sex he either couldn’t get it up or was having an orgasm too fast. Our relationship was based on EVERYTHING healthy OUTSIDE of that. We spent more time out and about than indoors having sex. We held hands and talked more than we actually had sex. We did not have a fling. We were in a full blown relationship. We knew each other’s families and everything. This will never be a valid reason for him not to see our son.

Excuse #5 – YOU ARE KEEPING HIM AWAY FROM HIS SON

That man wants to be away. I’ve tried for two years to get this man to focus on his child instead of whatever disdain he had for me. He attempted one time to try to do the right thing. I’m done with trying to force some type of relationship on a man who doesn’t want to be there. Doing that will only teach my son to love someone that doesn’t love him. If I was deliberately keeping my son from his father it would be better that way. All his father will do is harm him. He didn’t care about our son in the womb. He didn’t show up for his birth. He didn’t even want to show up for our son’s first birthday party. I’m done trying.

Men fight for custody of their children and visitation all of the time. There would be NO WAY I could legally keep a man from a child he wants. My son’s father is not around our son because he doesn’t want to be. Not because I’m keeping him from him. But you damn straight I don’t want him around. It’s not about my feelings though. It’s about my son. His father has already proven that he doesn’t want to be in our child’s life and I have already made peace with that. I want my son to have a good father. I rather him have no father than a toxic one.

Excuse #6 – YOU ARE TOO ANGRY/YOUR FEELINGS ARE HURT

He’s lucky me telling my story publicly was all I did. He should be happy I didn’t set his ass on fire when I got my strength back. I outta send him to hell where his Luciferian ass belongs. But I have more sense than that. How is what he did to me ok in the eyes of anyone? After abandoning me in that terrible condition with child, to add insult to injury he publicly lied about me as if I was the complete opposite of who I truly was to him. Just so he could ruin my career, tarnish my image and stop my bag. What was I supposed to do? Send his ass a fruit basket? You have no idea the pain and turmoil that narcissist created. I’m tired of men doing things like this while getting a pat on the back from everyone else who has a penis. Meanwhile people are looking at me on some “shame on you” nonsense as if I was as cruel to him. All I did was SPEAK UP! Honestly. That’s nothing new! I had been speaking about him honestly on my channel when I was calling him my King who I was madly in love with. Why lie now that I’m finding out who he truly is? It’s ok to praise him publicly when he was pretending to be my knight in shining armor? But it’s not ok for me to be just as honest when the cat jumped out the bag and revealed that he was just a clown in tin foil??

Angry is an understatement. I was a number of emotions. After being vulnerable, submissive, docile and fragile with a man who only kicked me while I was down you damn right when my strength was gathered I wanted to come charging at him. I was red. My high risk pregnancy was terrible. I had no choice but to be on bedrest. I was SO SICK! It was so bad. My pregnancy was UGLY! I was so weak. I could barely eat or drink. I was nauseous, vomiting and bloated. And I was hungry at the same time. I had weird cravings. I hated how everything smelled. Everything tasted metallic. I was thirsty. I was cramping. I have a 35+ year old body. I was emotionally all over the place. My legs and waist ached terribly. My back and neck hurt. I had terrible heartburn. I kept burping. I kept having to pee. My feet and breast were swollen and sore. My breast tingled. I had migraines. I was forgetful. I was dizzy. I felt faint all of the time. I was HOT. I was sweating. I was drooling. But then sometimes my mouth would be wayyyyy to dry. My nose would bleed. I had shortness of breath. My nose was stopped up. I was exhausted. I had vivid nightmares. My boobs and stomach itched. My skin nails and hair were beautiful though. I had severely painful muscle spasms daily. Meanwhile his goofy ass was somewhere lying to the world claiming I cheated on him and our son wasn’t his. I was faithful. I gave my all to him. All he gave me was his ass to kiss. Of course I’m angry. How he treats my son makes me even more angry. But I’m working on that.

Most men run from drama and anger, especially if it is their fault. Rather than own up to it they will disappear, even if it means abandoning their child. In their mind they don’t see it as abandonment but as self-preservation. As long as I remain angry and or bitter he will avoid me and his responsibility. Just because he needs an excuse.

What does my anger have to do with him taking advantage of fathering a child that belongs to him? NOTHING.

It’s easy to avoid a woman you are not interested in dealing with. The magic about co parenting via the court is that you get to see your kids and not have to deal with the other parent. I was making it easy for him by begging him to be around. He squandered his wealtth. Now I don’t care if my son and his father never meet. I hope he hates me. …With a passion. …As much as I loved him…

Excuse #7 – HE’S EMBARRASSED

He should be. He did it to himself. He couldn’t care any less about my hurt or anger. What did he think was going to happen after he humiliated me? Lied to my family and the public pretending like he was in love and wanting to be married. He lied to my favorite people. All of my friends, my fans, my supporters! If me speaking the truth about him embarrasses him then good. He’s ashamed he has a baby he was unprepared for by a woman he played? He has a baby ON PURPOSE by a woman he didn’t even care about. That’s just stupid. But what does it have to do with taking care of your responsibility and being a father? NOTHING.

You embarrassed. Deal with it. Women have things to be embarrassed about too when the fathers of our children leave us for trivial reasons, they cheat or lie. You think we wanted to be a baby momma and not a wife? That’s embarrassing to a lot of women. We deal with it and move on. We are still moms regardless.

Excuse #8 – HE’S AFRAID

So was I! Terrified! I wasn’t ready. I had no money. No place to live. No family! I was scared but I hopped on a plane and moved 2,000 from GA to CA like a G. I started my life over. He couldn’t care any less about my hurt or anger or FEAR. Why should I be concerned about his? He is not in PAMPERS. I will save the compassion for our son. I put my big girl pants on and got to work! That’s how life works. Not everything goes how it’s planned but you fix it! You move forward! You don’t run from it. You face your fears. Us both being afraid and unprepared was the perfect opportunity to work as a team to get us both out of that situation. But was he focused on that? NO. He was worried about the scattered ass of Atlanta. He was more concerned about who could clap their ass on his lap. That is NOT an excuse to run. Period. Stare that fear in the face and tackle to the ground. I have more of a backbone than him apparently. I’m not going to be ashamed of that. He was bold enough to play with my body, my life…..even bold enough to waste his own time. I’m supposed to believe that this “fear of being a father” crap is real??

Men who are afraid of parenting, or anything need to learn one thing: HOW TO HAVE COURAGE. Courage isn’t about not being afraid. It’s about stepping out there in spite of that fear. I will never understand how a man can NOT be afraid to put his phallus in the mouth or vagina of a strange woman without protection and not be concerned about whether he gets AIDs or HIV. But turns into a complete wuss the second he believes his freedom is going to be taken away from him because he’s having a child Men have done much more dangerous things in this world daily than be a father. I’m tired of the excuses. Men father children everyday. Some even father children that aren’t their own. If you are walking around talking about you are afraid and instead of having courage YOU RAN….you are a coward. Period.

Excuse #9 – He didn’t want a baby. He asked you for an abortion.

Asking a woman to murder a child is a tall order. Expecting her to actually do it FOR YOU is even taller. You are asking a woman to put a innocent child BEFORE YOU. I’m glad my son’s father didn’t ask me to have an abortion. That was never going to happen anyway. If men don’t want children why don’t they use protection? Why do they sell women these dreams of white picket fences, dogs and nuclear families only to act brand new when the pregnancy test comes back positive? If these men don’t want babies they need to put their money where their mouth his. They need to stop thrusting their pelvises at the first “bad bitch” they see.

Other women may pacify men. Other women may enable men and justify their bullshit as a means to help them sleep better at night, but I am not the one. None of these reasons for not parenting a child you know is yours are valid.

BEING A GOOD FATHER IS A GOOD CHOICE! BEING A DEADBEAT IS A BITCH MOVE, HANDS DOWN!

Soncerae Is Being Severely Stalked By Real Estate Investment Scammer Sean Tucker

For months Sean Tucker aka STL4U created countless 8 hr livestreams using Google Hangouts On Air to post malicous commentary about me. Initially he would contact me in my comment sections. Then a month or so ago his disturbing behavior escalated into something more demented. In these livestreams included pictures he stole from my Instagram and Facebook account. These images include my family. He also has used copywritten footage from my YouTube channel. Using his channel he

  • Encouraged others to send me unsolicited and/or threatening e-mail or to overwhelm me with e-mail messages.
  • Encouraging others who have shown hatred towards me to contact him. He then provides them with social acceptance. Meanwhile chastising or ostrecizing others who defended me or held him accountabile for his malicious behavior.
  • Encouraging people to do dislike mobs on my channel. Misusing the user ratings. As well as encourage people to no longer support me and instead hate me. Meanwhile using my name and this malicious behavior to get views and subscribers.
  • Hosting roast sessions about me where users gather together on group and live chats only to make derogatory deceptive statements about me.
  • Spreading rumors about my personal finances, places of residency, personal hygiene, parenting skills.
  • Making defamatory comments calling me names
  • Sending negative messages directly to me
  • Impersonating me online by sending a inflammatory, controversial or enticing messages and comments which causes others to respond negatively to me.
  • Harassing me during a live chats.
  • Leaving abusive messages online, including social media sites.
  • Manipulating images of me turning them into graphic material that is knowingly offensive.
  • Creating online content that depicts me in negative ways.
  • Attempting to sabotage my online personality.
  • Speaking as if he knows me personally.
  • Taking clips from videos I’ve created and twisting the intented perspective to make it fit his false narrative about me. Stretching!

This cyber harassment and stalking has lasted for 3 years. Sean Tucker has joined in with my former intimate partner Chris Law, YouTuber Minister Jap aka Timothy Johnson, Webcam/Pornography Model/Actress LaVonya Edwards aka Bomb Cherry, and ex con Warren Dalferes as they all obsessively cyber stalk and harass me daily on several social media platforms.

People have tried to warn him about his obsession. In these livestreams without tangible proof Sean Tucker has made countless accusations attempting to assassinate my character by accusing me of scamming, pedophilia, stalking as well as other utterly ridiculous claims that could only come from the mouth of someone mentally unstable. In one livestream he screenshared him searching a real estate website called Zillow, claiming that a property in Sacramento California was my place of residency after he compared it to a photo collage I posted on my Instagram of the inside of my home. I live in San Francisco California and it’s creepy to know that some strange man I’ve never met is searching California using all kinds of location apps and websites just to find out where I live. This proves that he in fact cyber stalks me.

He also altered an image of me during my labor and delivery into a sick joke about my feminine hygiene. As well as misused product promo materials from the website Nutrablast.com manipulating images of me. He has made disrespectful comments about my children, my mother and my sister.

He falsely claims he has pornography of me and nudes photos that were provided to him by Chris Law. He has spoken about my personal finances as if I’ve lied about them. Falsely claiming I post people’s private information on this very blog. When everything I post about others is PUBLIC KNOWLEDGE or proof of me being cyber stalked and harassed. He has spoken disrespectfully about my sexuality & celibacy. He has mocked my spiritually as well as spoken immaturely about my content directed towards assisting Single Parents.

I do not talk about this man. I do not post content about any of these people. I have not spoken to or about their families with disrespect of ANY kind. I do not stalk or harass these people at all. All I do is post on my blog every time they harass me and I provide proof of their actions. These people terrorize and torment me meanwhile lying to others claiming I do things to them. I do nothing to these people at all. They know this type of behavior is wrong, especially for people over 30 years old. Yet they continue to participate in it.

This vitriol content has been reported to YouTube and some of the content has been removed. Youtube is intending on removing more of the content after review. If you have any information I can report to the local authorities about this man please email me soncerae@gmail.com

medicine

This past 3 years have been odd to say the least. I have another man fetishing my feet. Following me on all social media platforms begging me to let him pay me to take pictures of my feet. I have another female obsessed with my vaginal smell….just weird stuff.

A lot of people get online trying to use anonymity as a shield, trolling. Intentionally posting rude things just to hurt people, their family and friends. Then when their nefarious intentions are revealed they play victim as if people defending themselves from them posted their private information out of spite. After these people pieced my family apart causing pain and drama… Even contacting them as well as my friends former partners and coworkers have the nerve to depict ME AS THE VILLIAN. As kind as I’ve tried to be soooo many times to these people. If I was to participate in that same behavior they display or even do something like revealing a trolls true identity they get offended and suddenly claim to be my victim. I just want people to leave me alone. If you don’t like my YouTube videos then don’t watch them. But to torment me everyday making and posting wicked defamatory content out of ignorance just to try to hurt me everyday is unnecessary. Move on.

The things this man posted about me hurt my mother deeply. As well as my teenage daughter and my closest friends. Even my business partners were saddened to see so many lies posted about me and others being cruel. From now on even in silence I will defend myself from these people by any means necessary. I’m tired of this. Leave me alone.

Soncerae VideoTaped Having Sex With Chris Law, Allegedly?!?

I received this email from someone supposedly warning me about a videotape that was created during a swingers party I attended with Chris Law in 2009. I’ve never participated in a sex tape nor have I done pornography. I have never been recorded having sex to my knowledge. That is not something I would ever consider. There were definitely pictures taken of Chris and I at the swingers party. But not of a sexual nature. However there are pictures of Chris Law nude that I’ve seen from that party and of me in lingerie. Seeing me in lingerie is not uncommon. I was a model for many years.

Any footage or images that are now surfacing on social media of this specific night are coming from Chris Law himself. Most of the night Chris was under the influence of alcohol so he barely remembers the night itself. He spent most of the night giving oral sex to several women and interacting with them. Meanwhile I was in a private room with an acquaintance of mine spending most my time with just him. A dozen men watched this acquaintance and I have sex without they themselves participating. I’ve been extremely honest about this experience. Any further conversation about it is boring me. I classify it as unnecessary. Repeating myself over and over is annoying.

This picture above is of Chris Law and his current wife. He clearly has no respect for her or he would discontinue discussing me or even interacting with people who discuss me. But instead of tending to his marriage he is producing images of a night he and I spent together. I am not interested in him and I do not talk to or about him. It’s unfortunate that I have to even bring him up today.

In this email the sender showed concern about threats made towards me. Suggesting I take down receipts posted to this blog that prove I was cyber stalked and harassed by Chris Law, Minister Jap aka Timothy Johnson, Lavonya Edwards aka Bomb Cherry and countless others associated with that social circle. This image below was attached to said email. This image of course is something Chris Law himself would have had to produce, if this is of us at the swingers party.

Everyone knows Chris took me to my first swingers party in 2009 right?

Everyone knows Chris watched me have a threesome. (It was wack. I hated it. Never again! I’ve had better sex with my hand.) It was a threesome he orchestrated. One he begged me for months to have. One of his sexual fantasies was to see me with other men. Yes he is that type of freak. So I tried it for him. Big mistake. It wasn’t until 2016 I spoke about him on YouTube. I warned other women to never do what I did.

Everyone knows Chris was also married at this time.

Chris and I didn’t have sex until after we left the party.

(Let me just say if it wasn’t for my acquaintance showing up, that night would’ve sucked horribly! I appreciate him and the vodka. My first and last wild night! I shouldn’t have been there or trusted Chris. No woman should ever do that.)

Everyone knows Chris introduced me to the owner of Venus Atlanta Swingers Club and that’s how I ended up working there.

This is information Chris and I both admitted to. Why would this picture or any other footage from that night bother me or him? The truth is already out. This is old news. We been talking about this same night for 3 yrs. When are you trolls gonna get some new material. HERE WE GO WITH PEOPLE TRYING TO START DRAMA ALL OVER AGAIN! Nothing else better to do. 😒 Who cares?!?

So for shits and giggles let’s say hypothetically this is me in the photograph right? One man is fully dressed. Looks like we are having fun. Not having sex. Looks like two men hugging on a SINGLE beautiful woman to me.

I did not sign any release forms. So if I’m photographed or videotaped without my consent the photographer or videographer could face severe punishment legally. Especially if it is published showing any of our faces.I didn’t agree to being videotaped or photographed.

I’d pay money for the original image to be emailed to me with the face of the man on the right not scribbled out. Is that Chris? Or is it Chris I’m hugging on? I know exactly who that man is. Let’s see if he’s brave enough to show himself. So far he’s been manipulative and untrustworthy. He clout chases. Let’s see if he’s man enough to show his face. Show your true colors. Tell people who you really are. I haven’t lied about any of this once.

Listen, no one is going to bully me into doing something I don’t want to do. My blogs are staying up because I want them up and they prove that everything I said about these people is true. These trolls have been cruel, dishonest, vitriol and messy. These people have done so much damage to other people’s lives while thinking they are hurting me, it’s laughable. I’ve moved on with my life. I am happy. I love my life and I accept my past. I’m not going to be forced into conformity just to appease internet weirdos being coerced by some webcam pornhoe who’s favorite pastime is shoving water bottles up her ass for perverts online. Bomb Cherry is not disturbing me one bit. I’m not even paying attention. It’s unimportant. I don’t care who’s mad or jealous or whatever. I’m minding my business. I am working. I’m focused. They can post whatever they want about me I am still unbothered. I’m at peace. I’m relaxed. This crap just proves me right about these people not leaving well enough alone. They are exactly who and what I said they were and I stand by every single word posted to this blog. I’m not backing down for nobody. You people might be able to get the spineless cowards online to repeat every negative thing you say about me because they want social acceptance but I am not the one. I’m too smart for that. I do my own thing. I don’t care what these people think they can dig up about me. I have exposed myself already in regards to this topic. I’m done with it. Even without me saying anything to or about these people they will continue to harass me because they want to. Not because I did anything to them.

Let’s reflect….

I’ve never done porn.

I’ve never been a stripper.

I’ve never been a prostitute.

I was a mistress to a married man a decade ago. A married man who can’t let me go. One who is passing around pictures we took a decade ago. A married man who is now on his 2nd or 3rd marriage.

I don’t go back and forth with these people. I do not know these people. They are strangers. I don’t make videos about them. I haven’t even blogged about them harassing me in a while. Just leave me alone. Please stop emailing me drama.

This Black Woman Here Disappoints Me | Ms. Kendall St. Charles

I have never portrayed myself to be a perfect woman on YouTube. I am open and extremely honest about my mistakes. I’ve spoken about my poor choices in men and why women should not chose them how I did. I also spoke about why I made those choices I have. I have warned both men and women on YouTube for almost a decade to not make bad decisions in relationships that can permanently scar them. Messing around with a ghetto hoodbooger will have you effed up. I have also taught lessons I’ve learned myself. My life’s a good movie.

As an African American, college educated, single mother who is inside of the Information Technology industry, living in Northern California in a beautiful half a million dollar home, I’ve over-used myself and my life as an example to help others. I’ve done it fearlessly. I don’t like talking about others. Just ideas. I have not been concerned about the misjudgments and criticism of others. Yes, I fell flat on my face. Yes, I have been humiliated. I speak my truth, passionately. There is no I in denial. 😉 I show all emotion or lack thereof, depending upon the topic. I take pride in logic and analysis and I speak the TRUTH with no equivocations. I love my life. You think I’m the under dog. Newsflash broad I’m a champion. A winner never quit on themselves.

Without attempting to impair the thought processes of others by using racism, prejudicial rhetorics, glitz and glam, religion or facade as my crutch, I have empowered whoever is willing to listen. My talking points are basic and filled with laughter. I own a sense of comfortability. I do the best I can with what I know, genuinely. Providing counseling and guidance for those who are in need. I have displayed an immense amount of altruism for most of my life out of pure love for other human beings.

Yet, some people have been very disrespectful and derogatory when speaking of me just for shock & awe, social acceptance, inability to produce original thought provoking content, just plain misdirection of anger or jealousy. I try my hardest not to misjudge another. Especially not another African American woman. I love the Paris Milans and Chrissys. I even showed support temporarily for the Christelyn Karazins and Cynthia Gs of the YouTube world. Until…ya know. Typical Black Woman ISH. I’ve supported The Womanists and Pro Blacks. The Feminists and wannabe politicians , the gamers and geeks, the thotianas and the pickmes. Most of them have turned on me the second they felt a slight breeze. I have been attacked by people I’ve spoken so positive about. People I’ve defended and supported. Only for those who have barely listened to my content on YouTube to viciously assassinate my character. Those who continue to misinform simply because they haven’t thoroughly researched me or my story. Or they lack the ability to think outside of the narrow margin of their own limited beliefs. These people have no respect or appreciation for diversity….over zealous and pressed to give their opinion about any and everything. So anxious to be heard online because in real life their platform is weak.

I’ve given relationship advice that has helped people improve their lives and overcome hardships of epic proportions. My honesty has created unions and friendships. I’ve healed hearts and spread love. I’ve provoked thought and encouraged healthy communication. Yet somehow the best parts of me are over looked.

Tonight, I’m not going to beg for people to understand me. Or complain about someone’s opinion. I’m not going to gossip about what I heard, post my receipts or bash my baby daddy. As an African American woman who has spoken about relationships for such a long time, I have to be honest with my family. My online community. My supporters. My friends, loved ones and associates. I even want my haters to read this.

One of the worse pieces of advice I have ever heard a woman give lies in her convincing another woman that one race of man is superior to another. If you want to date interracially, that is just fine. It’s preference. If you want to convince other women to follow behind you and agree with you solely because you need that validation, Sis, knock yourself out. But to imply that an already injured, betrayed and disrespected woman of color should take solace in a race of men outside of her own, when that same race of men are the very race of men who oppressed her and her own race of men displays your deep rooted personal self hate. I promote self love, self worth, self acceptance & appreciation and self expression so that when one does walk out into the world better choices can be made in general. Especially when choosing a partner. LOVE WHO LOVES YOU. I encourage women to evaluate a man’s character, use her intuition as well as communicating properly. Instead of relying on his skin color, social media presence or economic status as measuring tape.

There are Non-Black Men who are cruel, promiscuous, abusive, broke and immature. To imply that the African American Male’s architecture is flawed and that God’s design doesn’t include the type of DNA women of color should procreate with is absurd on so many levels. I can’t begin to…

I encourage women to evaluate men AFTER they evaluate themselves. Making change from the inside out produces better results regardless to what race of man you are interacting with. That way whether you run into the educated lame, the pookie or rayray, the playa or simp, the good man or bad man, the white one or a black one you will be 100% confident in who you are and prepared to make better choices. I teach women to love themselves and self improve instead of staying the same and resulting into becoming a BEDWENCH.

I’ve been a lot of things in my 39 years of life. There are things I’ve done that I’m not so proud of. However I have so many accolades that I’ve lost count. So what I made a poor choice in man but….look at my son. I’ll mold him into a fine specimen….no worries. As women we all have at least one man who shattered our world while teaching us a lesson. Yeah Ms. Holier Than Thou, you’ve had a derivative of “Priest”.

I’m a good person with a good character. A good character I had to teach myself how to have. TRIAL AND ERROR…..I’ve swept up the broken glass. I did things in the past….we all have. I’m just the Boss Bitch who GREW UP. I have enough bravery to admit it and you don’t.

My father is black.

My brother is black.

My male cousins are black.

My uncles are black.

My son is black and so is his God Fathers.

I’m not giving up on them.

Stop reminding me and the world of the mistakes I made and start focusing on more of what I’ve done which is good. I’ve chose better.

I’m disappointed in Miss Kendall St. Charles and maybe after she reads this blog she’ll improve. She was so critical of me, posting her little Facebook video speaking about me. Did this chick just try to check my posture?! Ha! I’ve never said a word about her out of respect for THE BLACK WOMAN. I just QUIETLY agreed to disagree. Her choices are for her. Mine for me….We grown. It’s all good though. Continue loving on your white man booboo and let me do what I do. I wish nothing but the best for you. 💕