Sis, This Is Why Your “Baby Daddy” Is Avoiding You

The way that Black Men continue to justify them abandoning their children paralyzes our community entirely. The “Single Mother” is always the one that is blamed when these men walk away from their children only out of convenience for them. When my son’s father contacted me (from work) , during my 5th month of pregnancy, to tell me he wanted to get back with his ex and that he didn’t want our baby the public pressured me to still give this man endless opportunities to be inside of our son’s life. Forget the fact that this man publicly humiliated me and left me to die in a cheap nasty stinky roach infested hotel BROKE and SICK during a high risk pregnancy. Forget that us going to an extended stay hotel was his idea. It was his fault we hadn’t moved into an apartment yet. Those #facts amongst plenty more are evidence that this man’s character is questionable in general. But fuck that, Let’s just convince Soncerae that she needs to make sure this toxic man continues to have access to her and her son. As if abuse and negligence can’t be passed down to another generation. I’m sure he picked it up from somewhere.

Earlier today I was doing a livestream for single mothers. Attempting to explain to them why the fathers of their children were avoiding them. (CLICK PICTURE ABOVE) During this livestream a few people came into my LIVECHAT reminding me of the false narrative regarding my son’s father. It was a comment I saw on another video that also made me realize that the story behind why my son and his father haven’t met is the typical story men assign to EVERY situation. Just soo they can justify a man not physically being there for his child. I’m assuming it’s a part of the boy code to justify a man abandoning his own child. It’s just automatically the mother’s fault. The one that didn’t get an abortion. The one that didn’t put her child up for adoption. Yep, she’s the reason that man left and shouldn’t be held accountable. Here are the typical excuses people give men who are absentee fathers. These are the reasons people give me for why my son’s father decided to not be in our son’s life.

Excuse #1 – YOU PUT HIM ON CHILD SUPPORT

I’ve always hated the concept of child support. I thought it was cop out for men. It is not a substitution for being a father. IDK why men think tossing chump change to the mother of their child monthly is like some remarkable act of kindness and that we should be jumping for pure joy every time we see it. The average hard working everyday man is barely making any real man money to begin with. IDK why these men think Single Mothers are so pressed for $2. Most single mothers don’t even bother filing for child support to begin with.

My son’s father asked to be on child support. It was his idea for me to file. He brought it up during my pregnancy and insisted that he’d pay it. I only wanted DNA testing. That’s what made me file. He publicly humiliated me by telling people that I was trying to pin a baby on him that wasn’t his. I proved myself.

We spoke about getting DNA testing outside of court but we could not agree on the way to handle it. Filing for child support eliminated a lot of unnecessary drama. He didn’t want to deal with me. I didn’t want to deal with him. After he was on it he tried to get me to take him off it implying that if I didn’t do so he was going to make things more complicated for us. When actually it organized things. I didn’t take the threat of him purposely ruining my life, any further, serious. His pay is now garnished. His child support goes into my son’s trust fund “Happyness Seeds”.

Child support is not a substitution for FATHERHOOD. So to say me filing child support STOPPED him from being a father is nonsense. Men don’t want to be on it because it forces them to be responsible. They use a woman filing as way to justify why they behave immaturely. As if her behavior is the catalyst for why he’s choosing to distance himself from his own children. And none of you see how much sense that doesn’t make?

Excuse #2 – YOU TRAPPED HIM WITH PREGNANCY

So you mean to tell me that these grown ass men just trip over an extension cord and fall into this well designed coochie trap or twisted web of lies and deceit that somehow magically gets their sperm suctioned from their bodies while they frantically fight for their lives? Stop it ya’ll, seriously. No one with functioning brain activity is buying that brand of bullshit. Like women are walking around here trying to trap BROKE ass men. Most men are working class. Women consider having babies with you because they care for you. Not to trap you for the money you DO NOT have. This is still not reason enough to abandon a child. YOUR child.

I have a 19 year old daughter. I spent years after she was born trying to have another. I’ve had all kinds of miscarriages and unwanted medical abortions. The fact that I even ended up pregnant by this guy to begin with is an act of God. A damn unsolved mystery. Our son is the 9th wonder of the world. I’ve tried to purposely have a baby by better men with education and wealth and it didn’t happen for me. Men that actually wanted me to get pregnant. Why would I trap this guy?!? The man with no GED or decent income?!??!

Excuse #3 – HE’S MARRIED

He wasn’t married when he was banging his mistress now was he? Why be married now!??! For the record there wasn’t a damn thing about my son’s father that was married. His own faux wife wasn’t even married. When I met Priest, SaDonya was somewhere being some other man’s side chick. The Bitch was having a HOT GIRL SUMMER. She also had the balls to bring this involved man to her own apartment to meet Priest. Even encouraged Priest to have us all sit down together for dinner. What’s kind of sick and twisted “marriage” is that?! Neither one of those boneheads fooled me. They definitely threw ya’ll for a loop though. Yes, the gruesome twosome are officially and legally divorced NOW. When I was pregnant both of them, SEPARATED, tried to convince me that their arrangement based on convenient cohabitation was nothing more than a graveyard for a failed marriage. OH noooo we just friends they said….It was only during YouTube interviews that they pretended like they were this solid union and I was on this steadfast demolition project trying to take vengeance on their delicate soul tie. Priest was SaDonya’s 2nd failed marriage. When he made it seem like he left me to circle back to her ya’ll fell for that foolishness like their marriage wasn’t a landfill before I refreshed his life. What does this have to do with our son? I’ll tell you! ABSOLUTELY NOTHING! Father and Husband are 2 different roles regardless to who the kids or wife are or belong to! He should take responsibility for any and all children! Justice is his first born. He and SaDonya DO NOT have kids together. They were together 15 years NO KIDS! He was with me 6 months, we have a whole son! His bitch ass wasn’t married then and his bitch ass ain’t married now.

I was never Priest’s mistress. I never will be.

He was with plenty of women during their marriage. He was with other women YEARS before I came into the picture according to him. I didn’t find out until after we were in a relationship that he slept with plenty of women WITHOUT protection. Even prostitutes. So spare me with the THIS MAN IS MARRIED SO HE CAN’T TAKE CARE OF HIS KIDS BULLSHIT! There is more to marriage than a legal document obligating you to stick to someone. Your behavior must run parallel to your commitment. If you stand in a garage that doesn’t suddenly make you a Cadillac. Them two lied to me about them divorced papers being signed. Out of jealousy it was her trying to convince him our baby wasn’t his. It was her in my ear pretending she wanted to help he and I. Both of them about that drama.

Excuse #4 – IT WAS A ONE NIGHT STAND/FLING

Any woman who has had a one night stand or fling and ended up pregnant knows that the father is probably only interested in the next fling. A player rarely turns into a parent. Move on and make way for a better relationship and someone who can truly love you and your child. However, there are still men out there who are PLAYERS yet are STILL FATHERS. I know a couple of men like that in Atlanta. They have countless baby mommas but they take care of their kids though. So that is not a good excuse. Shawty Lo had a whole show about his baby mommas. Some of the mothers were bustdowns and some were relationships. He still took care of his kids.

My son’s father and I were not a one night stand. Our sex was terrible. We’ve made love maybe twice. All of the other times we had sex he either couldn’t get it up or was having an orgasm too fast. Our relationship was based on EVERYTHING healthy OUTSIDE of that. We spent more time out and about than indoors having sex. We held hands and talked more than we actually had sex. We did not have a fling. We were in a full blown relationship. We knew each other’s families and everything. This will never be a valid reason for him not to see our son.

Excuse #5 – YOU ARE KEEPING HIM AWAY FROM HIS SON

That man wants to be away. I’ve tried for two years to get this man to focus on his child instead of whatever disdain he had for me. He attempted one time to try to do the right thing. I’m done with trying to force some type of relationship on a man who doesn’t want to be there. Doing that will only teach my son to love someone that doesn’t love him. If I was deliberately keeping my son from his father it would be better that way. All his father will do is harm him. He didn’t care about our son in the womb. He didn’t show up for his birth. He didn’t even want to show up for our son’s first birthday party. I’m done trying.

Men fight for custody of their children and visitation all of the time. There would be NO WAY I could legally keep a man from a child he wants. My son’s father is not around our son because he doesn’t want to be. Not because I’m keeping him from him. But you damn straight I don’t want him around. It’s not about my feelings though. It’s about my son. His father has already proven that he doesn’t want to be in our child’s life and I have already made peace with that. I want my son to have a good father. I rather him have no father than a toxic one.

Excuse #6 – YOU ARE TOO ANGRY/YOUR FEELINGS ARE HURT

He’s lucky me telling my story publicly was all I did. He should be happy I didn’t set his ass on fire when I got my strength back. I outta send him to hell where his Luciferian ass belongs. But I have more sense than that. How is what he did to me ok in the eyes of anyone? After abandoning me in that terrible condition with child, to add insult to injury he publicly lied about me as if I was the complete opposite of who I truly was to him. Just so he could ruin my career, tarnish my image and stop my bag. What was I supposed to do? Send his ass a fruit basket? You have no idea the pain and turmoil that narcissist created. I’m tired of men doing things like this while getting a pat on the back from everyone else who has a penis. Meanwhile people are looking at me on some “shame on you” nonsense as if I was as cruel to him. All I did was SPEAK UP! Honestly. That’s nothing new! I had been speaking about him honestly on my channel when I was calling him my King who I was madly in love with. Why lie now that I’m finding out who he truly is? It’s ok to praise him publicly when he was pretending to be my knight in shining armor? But it’s not ok for me to be just as honest when the cat jumped out the bag and revealed that he was just a clown in tin foil??

Angry is an understatement. I was a number of emotions. After being vulnerable, submissive, docile and fragile with a man who only kicked me while I was down you damn right when my strength was gathered I wanted to come charging at him. I was red. My high risk pregnancy was terrible. I had no choice but to be on bedrest. I was SO SICK! It was so bad. My pregnancy was UGLY! I was so weak. I could barely eat or drink. I was nauseous, vomiting and bloated. And I was hungry at the same time. I had weird cravings. I hated how everything smelled. Everything tasted metallic. I was thirsty. I was cramping. I have a 35+ year old body. I was emotionally all over the place. My legs and waist ached terribly. My back and neck hurt. I had terrible heartburn. I kept burping. I kept having to pee. My feet and breast were swollen and sore. My breast tingled. I had migraines. I was forgetful. I was dizzy. I felt faint all of the time. I was HOT. I was sweating. I was drooling. But then sometimes my mouth would be wayyyyy to dry. My nose would bleed. I had shortness of breath. My nose was stopped up. I was exhausted. I had vivid nightmares. My boobs and stomach itched. My skin nails and hair were beautiful though. I had severely painful muscle spasms daily. Meanwhile his goofy ass was somewhere lying to the world claiming I cheated on him and our son wasn’t his. I was faithful. I gave my all to him. All he gave me was his ass to kiss. Of course I’m angry. How he treats my son makes me even more angry. But I’m working on that.

Most men run from drama and anger, especially if it is their fault. Rather than own up to it they will disappear, even if it means abandoning their child. In their mind they don’t see it as abandonment but as self-preservation. As long as I remain angry and or bitter he will avoid me and his responsibility. Just because he needs an excuse.

What does my anger have to do with him taking advantage of fathering a child that belongs to him? NOTHING.

It’s easy to avoid a woman you are not interested in dealing with. The magic about co parenting via the court is that you get to see your kids and not have to deal with the other parent. I was making it easy for him by begging him to be around. He squandered his wealtth. Now I don’t care if my son and his father never meet. I hope he hates me. …With a passion. …As much as I loved him…

Excuse #7 – HE’S EMBARRASSED

He should be. He did it to himself. He couldn’t care any less about my hurt or anger. What did he think was going to happen after he humiliated me? Lied to my family and the public pretending like he was in love and wanting to be married. He lied to my favorite people. All of my friends, my fans, my supporters! If me speaking the truth about him embarrasses him then good. He’s ashamed he has a baby he was unprepared for by a woman he played? He has a baby ON PURPOSE by a woman he didn’t even care about. That’s just stupid. But what does it have to do with taking care of your responsibility and being a father? NOTHING.

You embarrassed. Deal with it. Women have things to be embarrassed about too when the fathers of our children leave us for trivial reasons, they cheat or lie. You think we wanted to be a baby momma and not a wife? That’s embarrassing to a lot of women. We deal with it and move on. We are still moms regardless.

Excuse #8 – HE’S AFRAID

So was I! Terrified! I wasn’t ready. I had no money. No place to live. No family! I was scared but I hopped on a plane and moved 2,000 from GA to CA like a G. I started my life over. He couldn’t care any less about my hurt or anger or FEAR. Why should I be concerned about his? He is not in PAMPERS. I will save the compassion for our son. I put my big girl pants on and got to work! That’s how life works. Not everything goes how it’s planned but you fix it! You move forward! You don’t run from it. You face your fears. Us both being afraid and unprepared was the perfect opportunity to work as a team to get us both out of that situation. But was he focused on that? NO. He was worried about the scattered ass of Atlanta. He was more concerned about who could clap their ass on his lap. That is NOT an excuse to run. Period. Stare that fear in the face and tackle to the ground. I have more of a backbone than him apparently. I’m not going to be ashamed of that. He was bold enough to play with my body, my life…..even bold enough to waste his own time. I’m supposed to believe that this “fear of being a father” crap is real??

Men who are afraid of parenting, or anything need to learn one thing: HOW TO HAVE COURAGE. Courage isn’t about not being afraid. It’s about stepping out there in spite of that fear. I will never understand how a man can NOT be afraid to put his phallus in the mouth or vagina of a strange woman without protection and not be concerned about whether he gets AIDs or HIV. But turns into a complete wuss the second he believes his freedom is going to be taken away from him because he’s having a child Men have done much more dangerous things in this world daily than be a father. I’m tired of the excuses. Men father children everyday. Some even father children that aren’t their own. If you are walking around talking about you are afraid and instead of having courage YOU RAN….you are a coward. Period.

Excuse #9 – He didn’t want a baby. He asked you for an abortion.

Asking a woman to murder a child is a tall order. Expecting her to actually do it FOR YOU is even taller. You are asking a woman to put a innocent child BEFORE YOU. I’m glad my son’s father didn’t ask me to have an abortion. That was never going to happen anyway. If men don’t want children why don’t they use protection? Why do they sell women these dreams of white picket fences, dogs and nuclear families only to act brand new when the pregnancy test comes back positive? If these men don’t want babies they need to put their money where their mouth his. They need to stop thrusting their pelvises at the first “bad bitch” they see.

Other women may pacify men. Other women may enable men and justify their bullshit as a means to help them sleep better at night, but I am not the one. None of these reasons for not parenting a child you know is yours are valid.

BEING A GOOD FATHER IS A GOOD CHOICE! BEING A DEADBEAT IS A BITCH MOVE, HANDS DOWN!

The Hunt: Single Mothers Try To Trap The Childless Man

(YouTuber & Singer, Queen Naija seen above. After her divorce from Chris Sails she sooner after started a relationship with her now boyfriend Clarence who she just conceived a child with. She rose to fame after releasing her song “Medicine” that was about her failed marriage with Chris Sails. Queen Naija and Chris Sails have a son together named CJ. Clarence does not have any other children.)

There are a lot of ridiculous things on the internet if you haven’t noticed. I see more ignorance on here than I do in the ghettoest Neighborhood Walmart. I always considered the web as a place where we all can look up ACCURATE information. Some sites of course mislead us. But with enough common sense you know how to decipher the difference between propaganda and actual FACTS. This place has become a cesspit of opinions, vitriol content and others desperate for likes, views, followers and subscribers. It’s all about social media and who can win the high school themed popularity contest. As if we have never socialized in real life and aren’t over the age of 25.

Social media has given the people who don’t travel the opportunity to interact with people they never thought they would. Like, “the celebrity” or popular person they admire from a distance. Not only can we interact with “the celebrity” we can accidentally slip on 100k followers on IG and become one. There is so much being done on the internet for shock and awe it’s becoming difficult to find information that is actually suitable enough for you to apply to your own life. This concerns me. The only reason why is because I’ve seen malicious people with the worse intentions steer people in the wrong direction. They have people out here saying and doing a lot of bafoonary. A lot of people don’t even realize how powerful their freedom of speech is. Then there are people that do realize it’s power and end up misusing the power to make people shift gears.

For almost a decade I’ve given relationship advice to men. I’ve interacted with so many men in regards to how they deal with women. It wasn’t until recently that I realized that a lot of the content posted by men was purposely created to attract and breed more hyper masculine toxic men. It’s bad enough that the public perception of men is so unsatisfactory. It gets even worse if you are a Black Man.

I saw somewhere that:

  • For various reasons, media of all types collectively offer a distorted representation of the lives and reality of black males.
  • In turn, media consumption negatively affects the public’s understandings and attitudes related to black males.
  • These distorted understandings and attitudes towards black males lead to negative real-world consequences for them.

Without understanding that their own music, movies and outlandish expectations of each other are what’s making them unfortunately harder to deal with they frivolously indulge in behaviors that seem entertaining but are detrimental to their own personal growth process. Then after they fall victim to the consequences of those choices they blame their own mothers, sisters, aunts, cousins, friends, wives and girlfriends for their misfortune. Yes the Black Woman, she is blamed.

Historical legacies of slavery and Jim Crow, the material and economic disparities related to that and other forms of historical racism, the role of the criminal justice system in controlling black males, the flow of resources toward and away from black males, and so on, are all important issues for understanding the current situation for black males in America.

A few days ago, after doing some research on Single Motherhood, I found this blog written by a Black Male who calls himself “Money Cultural”. After reading through his thoughts I realized immediately where he received his misinformation about Black Women from. Another Black Man ON SOCIAL MEDIA. A Black Man will go through 1 experience with a BAD Black Woman that he gave the benefit of the doubt too and dated anyway overlooking the red flags and then classify ALL Black Women as such. This brings me into the Black Single Mother Drag. Don’t date a Black Single Mother, they say. A BSM wants this and that and more assumptions, disdain, preconceived notions and XYZ. When really the woman you chose was just a bad woman. Her being a single mother had nothing to do with it. A mom is one role. A girlfriend is another. Just because she’s a mom doesn’t mean she’ll be a bad girlfriend or wife.

I read this blog thrice. 🙂 Just so I can give my personal thoughts.

HERE IS THE LINK TO THE ORIGINAL POST: https://moneycultural.wordpress.com/2019/07/02/the-hunted-man/

I am not going to attack this man intellectually or any other man who disagrees with me. I’m just going to express my own concerns and experiences about what this man wrote.

  • He wrote: When it comes to dating especially online dating, which man who is on the black single mother’s radar? Well, it’s not the White man, the Asian man, the Latino man or the bi racial man. It is actually the childless black man. Yeah, the black men who has no children.

Most BSM will tell you that the kind of man we want in our lives is “THE GOOD MAN” regardless of color. We don’t mind a man having children as long as he’s a GOOD FATHER. There are also plenty of women on social media who are encouraging Black Women to date outside of their race. It’s more Black Women looking for NON-BLACK men than BLACK MEN realize.

  • He wrote: Look on the dating websites like Tinder, Match.com, Badoo and all of the other dating websites black single mothers looking for a black man with no children. And most of these childless black men are good black men who are living a good productive life.

If these men are living good productive lives they are most likely not going to be on a dating site at all. Finding a good woman is easier in real life for Good Men. The last place any man with some sense would do is go on a dating site. Dating sites are last resort. If they are such amazing men why would they be on a dating site to begin with? I ended up taking the last guy I met on a dating site serious by accident. When I first started talking to him I expected nothing from him but a couple of dates. I didn’t even expect us to have sex. Now we have a child together. We were supposed to get married. At 5 months pregnant he played me. I took the L. Most women know not to take dating sites seriously. It is rare that we meet anyone worth meeting on a dating site. Outside of my son’s father I have never got on a dating site and expected something good to come out of it. If you meet someone and fall in love that is an exception to a rule. The success rate for online dating is low.

  • He wrote: But the thing is that good black men are not dating these black single mothers because they do not want to deal with a woman which children, especially if she has one child. And these single black single mothers will put on a huge tantrum when they get rejected by good black men when they finds out that these black women are single mothers with a whole leap of children.

Good Black Men ARE dating BSM. Most of my female friends are married. At some point they were divorced or single. What we all seem to have in common is WE ARE MOMS and none of us have a problem finding a man who is interested in us and our kids. It is because we are GOOD WOMEN. Most Good Black Men realize that just because another man made a mistake by letting go of a good woman that doesn’t mean he also has to make that mistake. Spare me with the, if she was a good woman why did he let her go? Think about that question. If you are male and you are reading this you have met a woman that was good for you and you wasn’t ready for the relationship. It doesn’t mean you are a bad man or that she is a bad woman it just means that you weren’t prepared. I’m not saying all situations are like that however I am saying there are single mothers who are GOOD WOMEN. Each man defines what a GOOD WOMAN is to him. Not every Good Black Man has a hangup about becoming a stepfather. No man I’ve ever dated has ever given me slack about being a Single Mom. He understood. Most Good Men I’ve dated have children of their own. The ones that didn’t just wanted to know would I be open to having more.

He wrote: Let’s say that she has three kids. As you found out that she is a single mother, you stop talking to her and you walk off. No, better yet. You run like hell!

BSM are NOT pressed. We aren’t going to have a tantrum because we are rejected by a man. It’s rare we get rejected by a man. Too many of us are approached by dozens of men a day. There is no shortage of men. If you run from a woman because she has a child or children it says you are a coward NOT smart. What do people do when they are afraid? THEY RUN! Not every experience is identical. There are good moms out here who also know how to be good wives and girlfriends.

  • He wrote: When a good black man goes after a black woman for a date or for a relationship, he gets rejected. But when he says that he doesn’t want to date a single mother, everyone looks at him as a villain. How can anyone, mostly in the so called black community calling a black man a villain if he doesn’t want a woman with children?

When are men going to stop considering men and women equal when it’s convenient for them? We all get rejected at some point in our lives. However, men get rejected by women more often because they are more likely to pursue. THEY ARE MEN! Men are classified as a villain when they reject single moms because of their shallow reason for why they are rejecting us. If she treated you poorly it would make sense to reject her. A door to door salesmen gets rejected a lot more than a man who is a sales associate at a T-Mobile. Randomly knocking on a strangers door asking them do they want to buy something they didn’t initially take interest in is bound to get that salesperson rejected. However, if you are a sales associate at a place where people are walking in looking to buy you have a better success rate.  Same for men who randomly approach women.

Men have to understand that MOTHER is one role and GIRLFRIEND is another. They don’t have the same meaning. To instantly reject a woman romantically because she has children is equivalent to a woman rejecting you romantically because you can’t bench press 500 lbs, you can’t build a house, or you choose to pay someone to do your landscaping instead of mowing the lawn yourself. Choosing not to date a single mother is alright. Just admit that you are shallow. It’s ok.

  • He wrote: Why don’t everybody look at the single black mother as the villain because she is the one who is destroying the black community with this black matriarchy, raising these children without a father in the household and making these young black boys kill each other in the streets…

When are men going to stop with the depicting themselves to be a superhero regardless to how much damage they have done? He just blamed violence in these streets on BSM. He just blamed Black Men abandoning their children on BSM. Let me tell you a thing or two about Good Black Men, NONE OF THEM HAVE ABANDONED THEIR CHILDREN, for starters. Good Black Men fight for their children. They try to get custody and visitation. They don’t just disappear. They pay child support. Or they do what they are supposed to do so filing for child support isn’t even considered. Most single mothers are barely getting $200 a month from fathers they put on child support. Most of the fathers are only put on child support because they refused to handle their responsibilities. Most women have enough sense not to have a baby with a man she knows is irresponsible. Please understand that, Bad Men don’t walk around advertising that they have nefarious intentions. What villian is going to scream from them mountain tops that that’s what they are? They’d never get what they wanted if they put themselves on blast. Yes BSMs have made a poor choice in a man, if they abandon their child. But why is she being blamed for not knowing who he truly was from beginning? He knew he had bad intentions and still participated. He is to blame for the demise of the Black Family. Most women don’t want to raise a child without their father unless he is extremely toxic. We want the help. When we have to beg men to help, most times we give up and handle it on our own. We don’t have time to beg a man to be in the life of his own child. If someone has to beg a man to be a father to his own blood something is wrong with HIM not her.

He wrote: Why they are so many black single mothers chasing after these good black men? The reason for that is because she is using him as insurance. Right, let me explain. When it comes to looking for a black man, she wants him to have his own home, his own car, make sure he makes a six figure salary, make sure he has a good job and so on. But when she sees a good black man, now she is calling him corny, lame, he’s a nice guy; he’s masculine and he’s not my type. So she puts him on the shelf and dates Pookie, Ray Ray, John John, Block House Jim, Big Dick Rodney, Mac 10 and his brother Mac 12. By the time she get dick down by these thugs, criminals and the unproductive men and has children with them, then she goes back to the good black man when he becomes successful or have something going on in his life so she looks at him as an insurance policy when she sees him having his own car, his own house, his own money, making six figures a year. But then she gets rejected by the good black man because he will refuse to date a single mother.

These little boys and their fantasies, I tell ya. It’s humorous. I’ve chuckled a couple of times rereading his blog. The arrogance and conceit displayed in his words are disappointing. Let me reassure most men that, (especially if you consider yourself a Good Black Man) most BSM don’t have time to date. We aren’t chasing anything because we are literally too busy to. It takes a lot of energy to raise kids when they do have their Father around. Imagine the energy required to take care of a child alone. Most of us have our own education, car, job and salaries. We are working BSM. Most of my friends are nurses, paralegals, my mom was an accountant raising me. In order to NOT live in poverty or be on government assistance we have to WORK. The traditional woman who is making sure a man has a good job is doing that because these women were taught that men are providers. The new age woman who is making sure a man has a good job is doing that because we want to make sure he matches us economically. We already have enough of a load to carry raising kids alone. We don’t want to have to financially factor in our MAN as another child. History has shown most women that when we do entertain a man who has potential, he either doesn’t live up to his own expectations or when he does finally get to a good place financially and career wise he leaves for a woman he classifies as better than us. Instead of him displaying a level of loyalty, he leaves. Forget sticking to the woman that helped you make it, move on to whoever you now consider on your level.

Contrary to popular belief just because you are a nice guy doesn’t mean you are a match to every woman on the planet. Being nice is not the only character trait a good women wants in a man. There are other things we are attracted to. Not every good man or nice man is corny or lame. If a woman is calling you corny or lame…. it is coincidental that you are also nice. Being nice doesn’t mean you aren’t corny or lame.  There are also buttholes who are corny and lame.  “He’s not my type because he’s masculine.” SAID NO GOOD WOMAN EVER! This man is confused. IDK what YouTube video he watched or low energy Black Male he listened to, but that man has this man CONFUSED. A BSM is not interested in Pookie, Ray Ray, John John, Block House Jim, Big Dick Rodney, Mac 10 and his brother Mac 12, because these men are bad for our children. If she has seen what a good man is and has experienced one she would not choose those types. Any woman with half of a brain would NOT date those types of men or have those types of men around her children. The only reason a woman would even consider dating those types of men would be because she herself is a product of the environment she grew up in where those men were her leaders. She doesn’t know any better. You have to have a level of compassion for any person who is doing only what they know. If you know better you do better.

Please keep in mind:

Black Men are faced with achieving masculinity [in media representations] through their corporal selves as physical threats (i.e., as athlete, rapper, drug dealer or gang member) as opposed to their intellectual contributions. To be viewed as assertive and aggressive is valued in our culture. So some women who have been watching too much tv think these type of men are appealing. Also a lot of Black men prefer to sexually objectify women and support toxic masculinity as a means to bond with each other. The aggressive male are presented as part of the dominant ideology in the Black community. Men don’t want to be GOOD MEN. They want to be Pookie, Ray Ray, John John, Block House Jim, Big Dick Rodney, Mac 10 and his brother Mac 12.

At the time I’m writing this blog, my daughter is 19. Her father is classified all across the board as a GOOD MAN at 43. He is in Telecommunications/Information Technology. He is a good provider, a good father. He wore glasses, button ups and slacks to work. He is educated. He went to college. He grew up with both of his parents. He barely uses profanity and I’ve only gotten into 2 arguments with him out of the 25 years I’ve known him. Women have called him corny and lame plenty of times. But what they don’t know is at 22, he was a drug dealer and going to college. He did it before I met him and while we were together. For 5 years after we met he was a corporate thug, going to work in the day time and at night dealing drugs. He’d put on his leather jacket, jeans and Timberland boots, hopped in his luxury car and did what he has to do. When our daughter was born he stopped dealing drugs altogether. He stopped dealing drugs and replaced that side hustle with delivering food and packages. He always had a nice things, his own place, he always dressed nice. He is a good looking man. He is responsible, easy to talk to and has goals and ambition. He is picky about women. He is very selective and always has been. He is not walking around here rejecting single moms. He’s rejecting women who play games, are dishonest, have no goals, have no ambition, promiscuous women, women who treat him poorly. He has never been married. We broke up after our daughter was born but he never left either of us alone to fend for ourselves. We had plenty of conversations about marriage. We both knew we wanted to be good parents. We always had a good friendship. Our relationship was good. He didn’t want our relationship anymore because of a personal issue he had that had nothing to do with me but he did NOT abandonment us. He was always there for our daughter and still is.

At the time I’m writing this blog, My son is 1 years old. His father is a coward, a liar, and a narcissist. I gave him the benefit of the doubt and over looked the red flags. He wasn’t always bad to me. He wasn’t perfect but I loved him anyway. I thought so highly of him. I was extremely kind, catering, loving, submissive and open minded with him. He seemed intelligent, he enjoyed having fun and being social. HE HAD POTENTIAL TO BE GREAT. At least that’s what I saw in him. He was never a drug dealer, never a thug. He always held down a job. A low paying one, but he loved to work. He had goals he wanted to accomplish but never applied himself. He seemed like the perfect person for me until I realized he was never going to apply himself. He wasn’t the sharpest knife in the drawer but he had PHYSICAL strength. A sense of masculinity that was attractive. He was my healer. ..My protector. I thought he was my friend. He had no real education. He grew up with a mother, a father and a step father. He didn’t graduate from high school. He was separated when I met him, now divorced. He has no other children. He has NEVER met our son. Fear set in when I was 5 months pregnant and he selfishly left. That says a lot about his character. We had plenty of conversations about marriage and children. We made plans. We knew we wanted to be good parents. We were also concerned about money. After he denied our son I filed for child support. He asked to be on child support. Saying I needed to prove our son was his. After the DNA test came back positive he was ordered to pay $269 a month. Being as though I make more money than he does his payments are low. I am responsible for 67% of my son’s expenses by law. I have custody of our son.

I explained this because what I want men to understand is that what makes a person a bad person is their character, not because they made a mistake or poor choice in a partner. Not because they have children. Male or female. SO when you choose women, choose them based upon how well they treat you. Not every woman you meet is trying to use you for what you have. But NO woman wants to be handling everything ALONE. Men don’t want that either. I can tell you as a single mother, handling everything alone is hard. It’s not impossible but it’s hard.

Even though both of my relationships ended only 1 of those men chose to still be a father. He understood that boyfriend and father are two different roles. I moved my son out of a predominantly Black area so we could grow up in a multicultural environment. There he can learn different cultures, ways of living and perspectives of life. That way he’d have a better CHARACTER. I moved 2,000 miles away from Atlanta to California for my SON. My daughter didn’t grow up in a predominantly Black area either. I want my kids to see the world, not just the four corners of the hood. So I work my ass off for my kids, ALONE when I have to. Any man worth my attention should admire that. Any man that loves me will love my kids because they are a part of me. They will never look at my kids as if they are some burden. If my better choices for my kids make it to where I have to eliminate a toxic FATHER, then so be it.

He wrote: When black single mothers get rejected by good black men, they are now stuck with the man that she doesn’t want to be with and that is the simp. The simp or the captain save a hoe will date a woman with children in an instant. The simp will say something stupid like the black woman needs protecting. Oh boy! Why would you protect a hoodrat while she is living off by government assistance? She looks like she’s protected to me. Nothing is wrong loving black women or being with one but there are some black women you can’t be with, all because a ratchet black woman can cause a huge amount of problems for any black man.

Black women need protecting because they are important not because they are weak. Nor do they suddenly don’t need protecting because they are living off of government assistance. If anything, you as a GOOD BLACK MAN, should lead a woman struggling into a better state of living. GOOD BLACK MEN are leaders they know how to see a woman having a difficult time economically and teaching her how to improve. Not every BSM is a hoodrat. Not ever BSM is ratchet. Even if she is on government assistance, trust me the assistance she is getting is chump change that’s why she’s still in the hood. If the government was giving her all of this amazing support her and her children would not be struggling somewhere in the projects. Of course ratchet women can cause a problem in a man’s life, vice versa for women. If we make a poor choice in man he can cause all hell to break loose. I had a lot of rebuilding to do after my son’s father’s havoc.

Let’s reflect…

Single Mothers are looking for GOOD MEN, regardless of color. Of course this man isn’t speaking of a SBM like me. I’m out here doing my thing. A good thing. I’ve learned so much and yes I’ve made plenty of mistakes. Just like the next person. Yes there are women out their that cause problems. I’m just not one of them. Some have even tried to make it seem like I am, not even knowing me. There are bad women out there. But it isn’t because they are single mothers. It’s because their character is in question. Just because I am a BSM doesn’t mean I have a bad character. It just means I chose the wrong partner. Most of us would not choose a matriarch…we had no choice.

10 Things Single Mothers Have To Get Over

There are a number of things that I dealt with during my time of transitioning from a mom who has raised a 19 year old daughter to suddenly about to give birth.  She had an amazing Father, who was a great provider as well as a good friend. Twenty five years after meeting him I was about to give life to an entirely different child by a different man who showed he was incapable of handling responsibility on all levels of life. Feeling like a single mother for the first time ever I had to overcome a number of hangups.

Inside of this video I address those hang ups. Giving others a closer look in the mind of someone who has been through the unbelievable since the conception of my son.

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Black Single Mothers Chasing Good Black Men

So I reblogged this blog…….I have some thoughts I’ll share about it later.

Money Cultural

The black single mother

black-women-children

Are now chasing after the black heterpsexual alpha male

12-hot-black-men-in-suit-amillionstyles-8

When it comes to dating especially online dating, which man who is on the black single mother’s radar? Well, it’s not the White man, the Asian man, the Latino man or the bi racial man. It is actually the childless black man. Yeah, the black men who has no children. We know that in Great Britain, 49 per cent of black women are raising children alone and 80 per cent of black women are single mothers in the United States of America. Black single mothers are now chasing down single black men who have no children and they are hunting them down with the quickness. Look on the dating websites like Tinder, Match.com, Badoo and all of the other dating websites black single mothers looking for a black man with no children. And most of these childless…

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Soncerae Is Being Severely Stalked By Real Estate Investment Scammer Sean Tucker

For months Sean Tucker aka STL4U created countless 8 hr livestreams using Google Hangouts On Air to post malicous commentary about me. Initially he would contact me in my comment sections. Then a month or so ago his disturbing behavior escalated into something more demented. In these livestreams included pictures he stole from my Instagram and Facebook account. These images include my family. He also has used copywritten footage from my YouTube channel. Using his channel he

  • Encouraged others to send me unsolicited and/or threatening e-mail or to overwhelm me with e-mail messages.
  • Encouraging others who have shown hatred towards me to contact him. He then provides them with social acceptance. Meanwhile chastising or ostrecizing others who defended me or held him accountabile for his malicious behavior.
  • Encouraging people to do dislike mobs on my channel. Misusing the user ratings. As well as encourage people to no longer support me and instead hate me. Meanwhile using my name and this malicious behavior to get views and subscribers.
  • Hosting roast sessions about me where users gather together on group and live chats only to make derogatory deceptive statements about me.
  • Spreading rumors about my personal finances, places of residency, personal hygiene, parenting skills.
  • Making defamatory comments calling me names
  • Sending negative messages directly to me
  • Impersonating me online by sending a inflammatory, controversial or enticing messages and comments which causes others to respond negatively to me.
  • Harassing me during a live chats.
  • Leaving abusive messages online, including social media sites.
  • Manipulating images of me turning them into graphic material that is knowingly offensive.
  • Creating online content that depicts me in negative ways.
  • Attempting to sabotage my online personality.
  • Speaking as if he knows me personally.
  • Taking clips from videos I’ve created and twisting the intented perspective to make it fit his false narrative about me. Stretching!

This cyber harassment and stalking has lasted for 3 years. Sean Tucker has joined in with my former intimate partner Chris Law, YouTuber Minister Jap aka Timothy Johnson, Webcam/Pornography Model/Actress LaVonya Edwards aka Bomb Cherry, and ex con Warren Dalferes as they all obsessively cyber stalk and harass me daily on several social media platforms.

People have tried to warn him about his obsession. In these livestreams without tangible proof Sean Tucker has made countless accusations attempting to assassinate my character by accusing me of scamming, pedophilia, stalking as well as other utterly ridiculous claims that could only come from the mouth of someone mentally unstable. In one livestream he screenshared him searching a real estate website called Zillow, claiming that a property in Sacramento California was my place of residency after he compared it to a photo collage I posted on my Instagram of the inside of my home. I live in San Francisco California and it’s creepy to know that some strange man I’ve never met is searching California using all kinds of location apps and websites just to find out where I live. This proves that he in fact cyber stalks me.

He also altered an image of me during my labor and delivery into a sick joke about my feminine hygiene. As well as misused product promo materials from the website Nutrablast.com manipulating images of me. He has made disrespectful comments about my children, my mother and my sister.

He falsely claims he has pornography of me and nudes photos that were provided to him by Chris Law. He has spoken about my personal finances as if I’ve lied about them. Falsely claiming I post people’s private information on this very blog. When everything I post about others is PUBLIC KNOWLEDGE or proof of me being cyber stalked and harassed. He has spoken disrespectfully about my sexuality & celibacy. He has mocked my spiritually as well as spoken immaturely about my content directed towards assisting Single Parents.

I do not talk about this man. I do not post content about any of these people. I have not spoken to or about their families with disrespect of ANY kind. I do not stalk or harass these people at all. All I do is post on my blog every time they harass me and I provide proof of their actions. These people terrorize and torment me meanwhile lying to others claiming I do things to them. I do nothing to these people at all. They know this type of behavior is wrong, especially for people over 30 years old. Yet they continue to participate in it.

This vitriol content has been reported to YouTube and some of the content has been removed. Youtube is intending on removing more of the content after review. If you have any information I can report to the local authorities about this man please email me soncerae@gmail.com

medicine

This past 3 years have been odd to say the least. I have another man fetishing my feet. Following me on all social media platforms begging me to let him pay me to take pictures of my feet. I have another female obsessed with my vaginal smell….just weird stuff.

A lot of people get online trying to use anonymity as a shield, trolling. Intentionally posting rude things just to hurt people, their family and friends. Then when their nefarious intentions are revealed they play victim as if people defending themselves from them posted their private information out of spite. After these people pieced my family apart causing pain and drama… Even contacting them as well as my friends former partners and coworkers have the nerve to depict ME AS THE VILLIAN. As kind as I’ve tried to be soooo many times to these people. If I was to participate in that same behavior they display or even do something like revealing a trolls true identity they get offended and suddenly claim to be my victim. I just want people to leave me alone. If you don’t like my YouTube videos then don’t watch them. But to torment me everyday making and posting wicked defamatory content out of ignorance just to try to hurt me everyday is unnecessary. Move on.

The things this man posted about me hurt my mother deeply. As well as my teenage daughter and my closest friends. Even my business partners were saddened to see so many lies posted about me and others being cruel. From now on even in silence I will defend myself from these people by any means necessary. I’m tired of this. Leave me alone.

Soncerae VideoTaped Having Sex With Chris Law, Allegedly?!?

I received this email from someone supposedly warning me about a videotape that was created during a swingers party I attended with Chris Law in 2009. I’ve never participated in a sex tape nor have I done pornography. I have never been recorded having sex to my knowledge. That is not something I would ever consider. There were definitely pictures taken of Chris and I at the swingers party. But not of a sexual nature. However there are pictures of Chris Law nude that I’ve seen from that party and of me in lingerie. Seeing me in lingerie is not uncommon. I was a model for many years.

Any footage or images that are now surfacing on social media of this specific night are coming from Chris Law himself. Most of the night Chris was under the influence of alcohol so he barely remembers the night itself. He spent most of the night giving oral sex to several women and interacting with them. Meanwhile I was in a private room with an acquaintance of mine spending most my time with just him. A dozen men watched this acquaintance and I have sex without they themselves participating. I’ve been extremely honest about this experience. Any further conversation about it is boring me. I classify it as unnecessary. Repeating myself over and over is annoying.

This picture above is of Chris Law and his current wife. He clearly has no respect for her or he would discontinue discussing me or even interacting with people who discuss me. But instead of tending to his marriage he is producing images of a night he and I spent together. I am not interested in him and I do not talk to or about him. It’s unfortunate that I have to even bring him up today.

In this email the sender showed concern about threats made towards me. Suggesting I take down receipts posted to this blog that prove I was cyber stalked and harassed by Chris Law, Minister Jap aka Timothy Johnson, Lavonya Edwards aka Bomb Cherry and countless others associated with that social circle. This image below was attached to said email. This image of course is something Chris Law himself would have had to produce, if this is of us at the swingers party.

Everyone knows Chris took me to my first swingers party in 2009 right?

Everyone knows Chris watched me have a threesome. (It was wack. I hated it. Never again! I’ve had better sex with my hand.) It was a threesome he orchestrated. One he begged me for months to have. One of his sexual fantasies was to see me with other men. Yes he is that type of freak. So I tried it for him. Big mistake. It wasn’t until 2016 I spoke about him on YouTube. I warned other women to never do what I did.

Everyone knows Chris was also married at this time.

Chris and I didn’t have sex until after we left the party.

(Let me just say if it wasn’t for my acquaintance showing up, that night would’ve sucked horribly! I appreciate him and the vodka. My first and last wild night! I shouldn’t have been there or trusted Chris. No woman should ever do that.)

Everyone knows Chris introduced me to the owner of Venus Atlanta Swingers Club and that’s how I ended up working there.

This is information Chris and I both admitted to. Why would this picture or any other footage from that night bother me or him? The truth is already out. This is old news. We been talking about this same night for 3 yrs. When are you trolls gonna get some new material. HERE WE GO WITH PEOPLE TRYING TO START DRAMA ALL OVER AGAIN! Nothing else better to do. 😒 Who cares?!?

So for shits and giggles let’s say hypothetically this is me in the photograph right? One man is fully dressed. Looks like we are having fun. Not having sex. Looks like two men hugging on a SINGLE beautiful woman to me.

I did not sign any release forms. So if I’m photographed or videotaped without my consent the photographer or videographer could face severe punishment legally. Especially if it is published showing any of our faces.I didn’t agree to being videotaped or photographed.

I’d pay money for the original image to be emailed to me with the face of the man on the right not scribbled out. Is that Chris? Or is it Chris I’m hugging on? I know exactly who that man is. Let’s see if he’s brave enough to show himself. So far he’s been manipulative and untrustworthy. He clout chases. Let’s see if he’s man enough to show his face. Show your true colors. Tell people who you really are. I haven’t lied about any of this once.

Listen, no one is going to bully me into doing something I don’t want to do. My blogs are staying up because I want them up and they prove that everything I said about these people is true. These trolls have been cruel, dishonest, vitriol and messy. These people have done so much damage to other people’s lives while thinking they are hurting me, it’s laughable. I’ve moved on with my life. I am happy. I love my life and I accept my past. I’m not going to be forced into conformity just to appease internet weirdos being coerced by some webcam pornhoe who’s favorite pastime is shoving water bottles up her ass for perverts online. Bomb Cherry is not disturbing me one bit. I’m not even paying attention. It’s unimportant. I don’t care who’s mad or jealous or whatever. I’m minding my business. I am working. I’m focused. They can post whatever they want about me I am still unbothered. I’m at peace. I’m relaxed. This crap just proves me right about these people not leaving well enough alone. They are exactly who and what I said they were and I stand by every single word posted to this blog. I’m not backing down for nobody. You people might be able to get the spineless cowards online to repeat every negative thing you say about me because they want social acceptance but I am not the one. I’m too smart for that. I do my own thing. I don’t care what these people think they can dig up about me. I have exposed myself already in regards to this topic. I’m done with it. Even without me saying anything to or about these people they will continue to harass me because they want to. Not because I did anything to them.

Let’s reflect….

I’ve never done porn.

I’ve never been a stripper.

I’ve never been a prostitute.

I was a mistress to a married man a decade ago. A married man who can’t let me go. One who is passing around pictures we took a decade ago. A married man who is now on his 2nd or 3rd marriage.

I don’t go back and forth with these people. I do not know these people. They are strangers. I don’t make videos about them. I haven’t even blogged about them harassing me in a while. Just leave me alone. Please stop emailing me drama.

This Single Mother Is NOT on Welfare – Failing Fathers

I read THIS somewhere…

Some single mothers abuse the court and welfare system. Some of these mothers do not want their children. They would rather go out and run around in bar rooms and party. They seek and gain primary residence of their children for no other reason than to gain welfare benefits, food stamps and child support payments.

Often times, the father is kept at a distance with little or no influence in the lives of his children. The court system is failing these fathers, and they are failing these children.

If the father pushes for primary residence of his children, he might be met with false claims of domestic violence. These claims do not have to come in the form of criminal charges. It is far too easy for a woman to walk into a court house, file a protection from abuse complaint without a single shred of evidence, and pretty much guarantee custody of the minor children involved.

I take pride in the fact that none of that describes me.

#1 The state refused to grant me food stamps, homelessness assistance as well as welfare benefits. All because of my YouTube check. Apparently I made too much money. After being advised repeatedly by my family and the public I filed for EVERYTHING including WIC & child support. WIC was granted to me. I was surprised. Child support was also granted to me. But ONLY $264 a month. My son’s father asked to be on child support. What’s funny to me is that one of the main persons who pressured me to put him on child support is also the same person who now claims that my son’s father is being treated unfairly because he’s on child support.

We are no longer using WIC. After a few months we no longer needed it

#2 I don’t party. I don’t go to the club or bar. I don’t drink. I don’t do drugs. I work and be mom.

#3 I don’t keep my son’s father at a distance. He chooses to stay away. I offered to fly him and his family to California from Atlanta for our son’s birth. He ignored my invitation. I invited him to our son’s 1st birthday party. I planned to fly to Atlanta from California just so he could finally meet his father. His father had someone relay the message to me that he wasn’t going to show up. He has chosen to not have any influence over our son’s life. I think we both know that’s best for our son.

#4 He hasn’t pushed for primary custody and he won’t. He has no interest in our son.

#5 He barely pays his child support.

#6 Domestic violence was very much real in our relationship. He did not physically abuse me. However, I had to prove in court as well as to the domestic violence shelter that assisted me when I first moved to California of his other forms of abuse before they helped me.

#7 My son is 1. His father isn’t the best person in the world. My daughter will be 19 this year. She has an amazing father who has always been there for us both and always will be.

Unfortunately I see a lot of propaganda in regards to Single Mothers. We are always painted to be bad mothers who are poverty stricken. Like because we are divorced or widowed or have never been married we fall short without the presence of a man. When most of the single mothers I’ve met aren’t on welfare, don’t get child support and take care of their kids alone. We have education, good jobs, nice homes and cars that we worked hard for without the assistance of a man. I don’t have to be romantically connected to a man for him to be a positive role model for my son. We could be platonic friends. He could be a coach, mentor, relative or coworker and still be there for my son. Just because I’m a woman standing on her own 2 feet it doesn’t mean I’m running the streets causing havoc. Yeah I’ve needed a helping hand at times with my kids but ALL MOTHERS have.

I’ve graduated from college.

I have a career in Information Technology.

I have several successful businesses.

I make my own money.

Am I working smart, yes. Am I tired, yes. Am I overwhelmed sometimes, yes. However, I adapt. I survive. I’m human.

Please stop perpetuating this stereotype that women can not lead or raise a household properly without the presence of a man. WE ARE NOT INCOMPETENT. We can tie our own shoes and everything.

My kids are my world and without them I am nothing. I love them with all of my heart. My bond with them is so deep and strong. I would not change how they came into this world and I do NOT regret raising them alone.

Being a single mother isn’t about my relationship status. It’s about raising my kids by myself. Single means 1. I am a MOM…..and I’d still be one if I was married, widowed or divorced.

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