Tag Archives: Teenage Pregnancy

Stop Raising Baby Mamas and Daddies! 3 Ways to Break the Cycle Now

Written By: Kei Latrice

Okay, you might be asking yourself, is it really possible to raise a child to become a baby mama or daddy? Like, are parents actually out here training their kids to be solo-dolo moms and dads, for God sakes? Or, better yet, I know a few of you are rolling your eyes, thinking, “here comes another self-righteous asshole looking down their nose on non-married people with kids!”– I get it. Parenthood is hard enough, especially when the task is taken on alone, or even as part of a co-parent situation; the last thing any single parent needs, then, is another conservative, “Yaaay, I dodged a bullet”, know it all, telling them how to raise, or in this case, not raise their kids.

So, I’m not going to do that– pass judgment, that is. Instead, I’m going to use those three fingers that always point back at someone, when one points out of course, to tell my own story in three parts. So here goes: The first thing I should note, is that I am married, although most people already know that. Number two–My husband and I have five children, which many of my readers already know as well. Number three, however, is what might be more of a shocker– and that is how I was not married when I conceived my first child. Feel free to clutch your pearls and gasp!

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So babe, how you feeling our new apartment?

See, what had happened was this, Des, (who was just my boyfriend at the time), and I, thought it would be a great idea for me to ditch my graduate school dormitory, and for him to move out of his slum lord apartment, so that the two of us could shack up. It just made sense. We could save on bills, enjoy movie nights and pizza in bed whenever we wanted to, and most importantly, have easy access to early morning sex– a duh! I mean, what twenty-something year old wouldn’t want that? Everything was perfect– even without furniture and in spite of our overpriced rent, until the day I regailed that extra pink line on my doomsday, I mean pregnancy stick.

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Oh hell no– it’s really two lines on here!

Of course I was shocked; the trepidation of not knowing what my life would look like with a child, replaced what should have been a feeling of joy. Des and I had talked about getting married, eventually, but nothing was set in stone. I’ll never forget the day we told my mother: in a restaurant, over pasta and salad, we showed her our plastic truth stick (gross, I know, but hey, we were twenty-ish and dumb) and my mom simply cried. Later, she admitted that her worst fears had come true: I was unmarried and pregnant and might have to raise a child alone.

Be sure to check out Soncerae’s latest PODCAST Baby Mama VS Baby Daddy… Can’t We Just Be Family? Episode 41 – The God Queen Live Podcast

But now, let’s talk about how crazy both of our reactions were, (my mother’s and mine), especially since there had been no Whodini stunt, nor was I the victim of an immaculate conception. I got pregnant the good old fashioned way because we weren’t using protection. It really shouldn’t have been a shock. More importantly, though, the title of baby mama was the very status that I had been groomed for from childhood, and I would have become that, had it not been for our (shotgun) wedding. Let me explain how:

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The Married Couple I knew. We hung out with them every Thursday at 8.

I Had Little to No Examples! Virtually every woman I knew growing up, raised their children without fathers in the home. That was my norm. Fathers came around, sometimes, and gave financial support, occasionally. They rarely lived with the women they had children with and they certainly weren’t married. The married couples I saw growing up were either on television, or, if I encountered them in real life, they didn’t look like me.

My Bar Wasn’t Set That High. In grade school, my aunt promised me $100 if remained childless until after my high school graduation. In my family, having a baby before marriage wasn’t what brought you shame, it was more so being a teenaged mom. At around 19, this same aunt gave me the conception green light. I’d not only graduated from high school, but I was also working, and (in her eyes) somewhat self-sufficient. This meant I’d met my family childbirth standards and could now get pregnant without being shunned. As for my mother and her opinion on the subject, well, let’s just say I had her example, instead of her words.

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Me making it to graduation baby free!

I Had No Actionable Plan. So this one was a bit trickier; as far as having children and being married, I knew I wanted both, but I never really considered the order in which I’d get them. If I had actually taken the time to think about it, I might have been just a little more hesitant about that whole shack up and anytime sex situation with Des. I also would have likely been prepared for, and thus excited about my first pregnancy, instead of just surprised and confused.

My mother, my aunt, and all the women in my family did the best they could to steer me in a positive direction, still they couldn’t prepare me for what they didn’t know. Now, I have the benefit of using the blueprint of their lives and combining it with mine, to help my sons and daughters make better choices. Here’s how:

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I Always Speak of Their (future) Husbands and Wives. Little girls love to fantasize; I know from personal experience, and now having two daughter of my own, I see it with them even more. When they speak on boyfriends, or love, or dating, however, I make make it a point to tie those things to their future husband. For example, if my daughter, who is ten, mentions dating, I’ll say something to this effect, “never date someone who wouldn’t make a good husband.” Then we’ll go into all the things that make a man husband material. Or, when my youngest daughter talks about being a mommy, I always address the topic in a plural sense. So, for example, I’ll say, “when you and your husband have a baby,” or, “you need to be married first,”. I do the same thing with my sons. “Never have sex with a woman you couldn’t see being your wife,” is something I say to them often. When my sons balk at doing hard tasks, I’ll remind them of the wife and children who’ll one day depend on them. The takeaway is this: This type of dialogue lets our children know what our family expectations are and helps them to develop a marital mindset.

I Put My Own Marriage on a Pedestal. Ask any one of my children who my favorite person is and even my youngest, who is five, will answer “Dad”. In fact, my kids often tease me when I whine about missing Des and say, “Sheesh, Dad hasn’t even been gone that long.”, but I can’t help it. Yes, I absolutely adore my children; Each one occupies a piece of my heart that makes up one whole. Nevertheless, as much as I love them, their Father is the one person I most want to spend time with, cuddle with, hang out with, and talk to, because he was there before them and will (fingers crossed) be there after they’ve gotten families of their own. The Takeaway is this: We’re instilling in our children the critical importance of putting your marriage first and that successful families have a natural and meaningful order.

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When you and hubby are each other’s favorite person!

I Encourage Them To Be Intentional. When it came to areas such as education and career, I knew exactly what I wanted to achieve and how to accomplish it. Regarding love and starting a family, however, I was way more willy-nilly and unprepared. That’s why I’m teaching my children to be methodical about both. For instance, I pose questions that make them think about how a family will fit into their long term goals. I advise them about the pitfalls of reckless sex and ways of avoiding them, and I give them examples of how their choices will effect them for generations. The Takeaway is this: We are instilling into our children the concept that planning for a family is as crucial, if not more so, than planning for an education or career.

Now, for the critics– the ones who’ll point out that there aren’t any guarantees; the ones who’ll swear that kids are going to do what they want regardless, I’d tell them all that they’re right. See, our children have these peculiar things in them called, minds of their own. Despite all of our teachings and best efforts, they will ultimately make their own decisions in life. Still, the optimist in me can’t help but try anyway. Sure, I could miss the mark as a parent, in getting them to not be a baby mama or daddy, but, I will absolutely miss it if I just do nothing. I’d say, I have a good 50/50 chance. Plus, I already have proof this goal is acheivable. I came from a clan full a baby mama’s, and now just look at me– I’m a stressed-out happily married mother of five nerve-wracking beautiful kids. That’s a hell-of-enough evidence for me!

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Babe, we did it! We actually pulled this thing off!!!

Tell us what you think? Are parent’s really out here raising kids up to be baby mamas and daddies? If so, tell us how and if not, tell us why? We want to hear from you!

Stop Raising Baby Mamas and Daddies! 3 Ways to Break the Cycle Now original post https://thetalkship.com/2019/05/16/stop-raising-baby-mamas-and-daddies/

Written By: Kei Latrice

Be sure to check out my latest PODCAST Baby Mama VS Baby Daddy… Can’t We Just Be Family? Episode 41 – The God Queen Live Podcast

Soncerae’s Teenage Daughter Allegedly Pregnant?!?

Just recently I posted a beautiful picture of my daughter on the community tab of my YouTube channel. It was well received and my subscribers left some amazing comments.

Since this post a narcissistic sociopath, with an alcohol and drug abuse problem, who has been stalking me and my family for over 2 years has done 3 livestreams on YouTube with claims that my daughter is pregnant and that I missed her prom. One of those livestreams was removed by YouTube after being reported. It’s unfortunate that a grown man wants to take the spotlight from a child just to get social acceptance on social media. His attempts at ruining my life used to make me angry. They even hurt me sometimes. I even did self evaluation because of it. Then I realized that the problem wasn’t me, it’s him. Even though I have moved on with my life entirely, he still continues to speak of me as if I have somehow caused him harm.

Youtube is a dangerous place for women of color. Men terrorize African American women on this platform. They mob together to harass women. There are countless videos on YouTube aimed to incite harassment against us. Created by frustrated mentally unstable men who have criminal backgrounds.

Let me reassure everyone that my daughter has amazing parents who instilled in her a set of moralistic values. We have had effective communication with our daughter about domestic violence, sexual assault & molestation as well as teenage pregnancy, single motherhood and casual sex. We have taught her not to judge others for the path they chose for their own lives. We have also taught her the dangers of distributing trust to strangers, the warped mentalities of pedophiles and the power she holds as a young lady. It is disturbing that a man over 30 is concerned with my daughter’s sexuality. One who was obsessed with mine for years has now extended his perversion with including my mom and daughter inside of his desperate attempts to gain adoration from other mentally unstable men online.

In need of material to support his rhetoric on his YouTube channel that is permeated with disdain for single mothers and African American women, he has now spread false information about my daughter. The derogatory content that he posts on YouTube is the product of his own distaste for his mother. In 2016 While planning a collaboration on YouTube about the “90 Day Rule” he shared with me that his mother was promiscuous and was tossed around the neighborhood sexually by men. In this collaboration he encouraged me to have sex on the first night meanwhile I was encouraging women to wait before they have sex with men. Now he misrepresents himself as the man who does not want women to disrespect their bodies sexually.

After discovering that he’d use his channel to disrespect women I broke communication and begin trying to cut ties. Disappointed that we could no longer work together or be romantically tied he has stalked and harassed me on and offline. Now he is maliciously using YouTube to slander my daughter by saying she is pregnant at 18 and was abandoned by me. Speaking to an audience of men that I gave him that also no longer support me after listening to him fabricate our experience with each other. No one knew who he was on YouTube before our collaboration. Abandonment is a sensitive topic to me and my family being as though Minister Jap is part of the cause for why my son’s father Luther “Priest” Washington abandoned me in a motel during my high risk pregnancy.

During my pregnancy Minister Jap placed several phone calls to me encouraging me to leave Priest and that I could have made a better choice in man. One of which took place while Priest was sitting in front of me. He tried to convince me that Priest was “Dirty Dick Rodney”, a term Minister Jap uses during his “sermons” aka belligerent rants on YouTube designed to destroy, misinform, and enable the average low IQ under achieving African American man, who is BORED and seeking entertainment on YouTube. In other words men who grew up without positive male role models in their lives.

Minister Jap also encouraged me to put Priest on child support. After his attempts to destroy a “Black Family” didn’t work with me he proceeded to contact Priest and encourage him to abandon me. Ultimately participating in creating a “single mother”. The very kind of woman he claims he despises. By planting seeds of doubt in Priest’s mind about the paternity of our son as well as using character assassination he manipulated my son’s father into believing I was something I am not. His desire to manipulate has become apparent after the years. As well as social anxiety and mental disorders that he has refused to get treated for.

Priest begin siding with Jap as if I didn’t tell him from the beginning that Jap was stalking and harassing me. It was Jap who told me to put Priest on child support. Then once Priest was on child support it was Jap that convinced Priest to complain about being on child support. Even after Priest ASKED TO BE ON CHILD SUPPORT. Now Minister Jap disrespectfully calls my son a bastard all over his livestreams and videos. My son was only a couple of days old when he posted on my instagram “Fuck your baby.”

I have created countless blogs documenting his constant attempts to destroy my life. Knowing I give my phone number out so that people can text me who need counseling Minister Jap and Chris Law (a former sex partner of mine) teamed together for months texting me pretending they were a female and built a small bond with me over text. This was after the two were photographed together in Atlanta. Minister Jap had flew to Atlanta to meet Chris Law. After Minister Jap found out that Chris Law and I were connected. Minister Jap has reached out to my former partners, old Friends, family members. He has even harassed them. Minister Jap called me dozens of times while in Atlanta and even left demented voicemails telling me to stop refusing to answer his calls. He even called my phone 14 times in 1 day and proceeded to cuss out my partner at the time “Daddio” who answered the phone. I have records of days when he’d call my phone in a drunken rage leaving voicemails. He called me once crying hysterically. He’s sent me unwanted gifts and donations. He has teamed up with several trolls on YouTube and encouraged them to create horrible content, stalking and harassing me as well. Including webcam hoe Bomb Cherry.

Incalculable videos and channels he created to stalk and harass me have been deleted off of YouTube. Including the first livestream he did fabricating the story of my daughter being pregnant. This led Bomb Cherry to also do a livestream about my daughter that YouTube removed. He has continued to encourage people to harass me online as well as cause me bodily harm. He has used Instagram encouraging men to murder me. He has incited hatred and violence against me and my family. I have asked this man over and over to discontinue contacting me however he has still tried to reach out to me via email as well as other social media platforms.

I have constantly contacted the authorities numerous times about this sociopath. He has a warrant for his arrest in 2 counties in San Francisco. All associated with him stalking and harassing me online and off. He and I have never met. We have not met offline. I have not reached out to any of his friends or family. He encourages others to cause me bodily harm online and off.

MY 18 YEAR OLD DAUGHTER IS NOT PREGNANT!!! Thank GOD MY DAUGHTER IS STILL A VIRGIN! HYMEN STILL IN TACT! I made a livestream saying that after the first livestream Jap did lying about her. Since he has made 2 more. He’s trying to provoke me to lash out at him. This is a picture that was taken the same day as her prom photo. She just got her hair and make up done and is about to change into her dress. My daughter clearly does not have a baby bump. Looks like she’s had a few cupcakes and drinks soda….she’s fluffy yes….but pregnant NO.

Just because this man wants to portray me as some sort of hoe out of anger that he didn’t get a chance to have sex with me doesn’t mean the world should join him in his frustration. I am not a hoe, I am not promiscuous. I do not share myself with just any random man walking around. I do not have an STD. I do not have vaginal odor. Never been a swinger, stripper or prostitute. Or any other negative stigma that this man can attach to a woman to harm her. His insults are typical. Even coming after my daughter is typical. I see where this is going.

You can also check my YouTube Story to see video.

If you see any contentt online of Minister Jap talking about me or my family please contact me soncerae@gmail.com We are keeping record of what he is doing to turn it into the authorities. Please be sure to check out the other blogs I have wrote about this man. Please do not spread any more false information about me that comes from this sociopath. He needs to seek out a mental health professional.

All I can do is stand up for myself. That is not the same as being defensive. Anytime I get online and stick up for myself this man plays victim. I know what people are saying about me and I hear the rumors sometimes. They are hard to keep up with. These rumors that people have spread are very mean and painful. I will never be the person to stoop that low to make up lies about people and spread them. None of the rumors that people spread about me are true. People involved in this mess are vicious and cruel. I’ve tried to be civil with him. I said to him in an email once that if you genuinely cared about me as a friend like I know you did you’d simply leave me and my family alone and he refuses.

No matter what he or anyone says of me I know who I am and I am NOT what all of these strangers say about me. I’m not going to waste my time convincing others that either. I’m just going to live my life.

Please understand why people spread rumors.

People spread rumors when their is uncertainty. It’s when we don’t already have a firm grasp on how or why things are happening in the world that rumors start to spread.

Oftentimes uncertainty breeds anxiety—we like to have a clear sense of the world, and we get anxious when we feel uncertainty—and anxiety on its own has been linked to rumor spreading. Some research has shown that more anxious people tend to be the ones who are more likely to spread rumors.

People spread rumors when the person that they are talking about or the information spread about the person they are talking about is important. If I was irrelevant Jap wouldn’t even bother talking about me.

Let’s face it—if you hear a rumor that you think is completely ridiculous, you probably won’t find yourself on a mission to spread that information far and wide. It seems like my daughter being pregnant is believable. Being as though people try to make it seem like women like me (Black Single Mothers) raise horrible daughters. My daughter had two parents. And even if I raised her a lone she’d be a good person because I am a good person. Not the person that Minister Jap walks around saying I am. Remember when narcissistic people can’t control you they try to control how others view you.

Plenty of research has shown that people often want to feel good about themselves, but one way people can do that is through rumor spreading. They also will spread rumors if it helps their social status. Men like Minister Jap want adoration from other men. So he does and says what other men praise him for regardless to whether what he is saying is a lie. We’re not talking about the opinions that people share. Instead, rumors are meant to be informative. Opinions are just observations of TRUTH. Minister Jap does not speak opinion when he speaks of me. He does it on purpose. Unverified information can easily be manipulated. So let me reassure you….let me verify this for you. My daughter is not pregnant. I am amazing woman and mother. And if Jap keeps up this behavior he will be in jail. It’s been 2 years now. He keeps giving me more evidence for the police. A warrant is out for his arrest.